Sorry.

Trying to be rational etc.

Nigel,
You worry me - what are we to do;I think I will carry on posting and you can, of course, do your mod job - cut and paste as you see fit. Apologies,, but this means more work for you - such is the way of the world - y0u have to sort out what to post and what to reject; as for me: well, I have 396 jokes in my inbox - I think they are jokes - could be they are not.
But, what does it matter - some will be posted from the dead - from beyond the grave, and others will be from the living (or so they claim).

So, I suggest that the deal is:
I post
You delete

Yeh, OK it is more work for you, sympathies etc, but life really is a bitch

Dave

ps Do I care - you have one guess

__________________
Dave

Fair enough Dave, sounds reasonable to me. No hard feelings on this side of the world at all. It is more work, but it's work I enjoy.

It just occurred to me, what the cause of all this hand wringing is... The First Rule Of Comedy: Know your audience.

Now that's not really possible on an open forum like this. Most of the jokes you and other have told I have heard before. Many I have told myself, 'cause I'm the sad bastard in the crowd that remembers jokes and likes to tell them. But most of us would have had the experience of "dropping a clanger" by mis-reading the crowd.

And my commiserations and sympathies to you on your loss too, Dave. My prescription for the blues of losing a friend is a good hard ride, followed by a pint or two, all with the mates you still have.

Regards

Nigel in NZ

__________________
The mouth of a perfectly contented man is filled with . -- 2200 BC Egyptian inscription

Dave , my deepest sympathy in the tragic loss of your friends .

Keep your spirits up and the rubber on the road .

__________________
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light. - Spike Milligan
"When you come to a fork in the road ,take it ! When you come to a spoon in the road ,take that also ."

Dodger,Dave
Please keep up the good work with the bad taste jokes.
I,d love to know what the censors think is actually appropriate subject matter for jokes!!!
Please post a list as soon as possible.
Then stick it where it belongs!!!
In somekind of dark restricted access kind of a place
You know like a coal cellar.
Albert theturtleshead

Why are there no Ecuadorians on Star Trek? because they won,t be doing any work in the future either!!!
Just add any group or nationality you like!!!
Equal opportunity to be rude to who ever,sounds fair to me.
Albert theturtleshead

Oh Gawd!..............

DROP THE EGOs and get on with the jokes !!!!

__________________
http://www.aroundtheblockmotoadventures.com/
'We build the bike (in Peru) for your Epic Ride of South America.'

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?


Put a nipple on it.

.................................................. ....................................
Haven't read all the jokes here, so apologies if it's a repeat.

__________________
I've a feeling I'm not in Kansas anymore.

keep it up Dave - the jokes are excellent....

NEW AIRLINE RULES

Flight Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir. May I see your ticket?

Passenger: Sure.

Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!

Passenger: What for?

Attendant: For telling you where to sit.

Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.

Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.

Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.

Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?

Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?

Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.

Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.

Passenger: What?

Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.

Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate.

But, first I need that $10.

Passenger: No way!

Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.

Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?

Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.

Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?

Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?

Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.

Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?

Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?

Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!

Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.

Attendant: Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?

Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

__________________
Susan Johnson

Inspiring, Informing and Connecting travellers since 1997
www.HorizonsUnlimited.com

Susan that was a cracker, Dave I hope youre hanging in there, lets have some more of them jokes, because I know they help me through the day. That was the reason for joke corner in the first place to make us smile.

AN Australian boarded a flight from Dubai to Melbourne and, after he settled
himself in the window seat, a Muslim in his mufti was seated next to him on
the aisle. They nodded to each other politely and immersed themselves in
their newspapers. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came by
with the drinks trolley and asked the Aussie if he would care for a drink.
The Aussie folded his newspaper and happily asked for a rum and Coke, which
was placed before him along with a packet of peanuts. The flight attendant
turned to the Muslim and asked him if he would like a drink. He shook his
head in disgust and replied firmly, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen
whores than let liquor touch my lips." Shocked to hear that, the Aussie
handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "'Me too... I didn't know
we had a choice."