My missus says "ditch the bitch" and do what you want to do!

Mines never slapped a ban on me for any thing except spending all the cash and "wandering"

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Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

My girlfriend wouldn't get closer than 100 meters to a motorbike 5 years ago, now she's the one who annoys me every single weekend to have a spin around, she even wants to ride the 1150GS.

People are afraid of the unknown, but when they understand what motorcycling is about 99% of 'em love it!

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www.mfnaeuropa.blogspot.com

A lot of poeple who do not ride have a lot of misconceptions about bikes that make them more fearful of it than is really warranted. Here are some actual things that have been said to me from non-riders:

"One little pebble and you're going down."
"If you crash you will definitely get hurt."
"I guess you have to give up the bike now that you are getting married."

We all knwo that people fear what they do not understand. Some non-riders can not understand how this bizzare contraption can balance itself on 2 wheels at speed, or how one can survive an accident. With cars it is easy to explain away with airbags and cage talk. Bikes also have answers, but they require more effort. If you can get your gf to stop with the "inconsiderate" and "death wish" and ultimatums nonsense long enough, then maybe you can explain some things, if she'll listen.

I know whole families that ride bikes and make quite the friendly family time of it, from the father right down to the 4-year-old. Now that is quite a different image as compared to the one that may be in the heads of many non-riders.

Even though I've ridden a lot and feel very confident on a bike, I still find myself getting scared sometimes thinking about the "what ifs," usually when I'm not riding. Twice people have crashed while riding with me. I've crashed 3 times, fortunately always with practically no injuries. My mom's uncle crashed his bike and died. My little brother crashed his bike while riding with me and was in the hospital for 3 days - he fully recovered but has not ridden since. This all gives me quite a bit to think about. And after all this you'd think my mom is a wreck with 2 of her son's still riding bikes. But she doesn't seem too stressed about it these days. I guess she can see the other side, too. She's seen us Come back from long trips in one peice. She's heard me talking about bike safety just as my wife has and so they know that I really think a lot about it. They know that I don't do really stupid stuff like drink and ride. My mom sees the pictures of us on our bikes in all kinds of beautiful places, and can see how much enjoyment that brings us. My wife knows for herself how enjoyable it is as she rides on the back quite a lot. It takes some strength to put that over the fear. And that is why the ultimatums are so out-of-place. The people who love you should want you to enjoy your life. That may sound a bit manipulative, but it isn't when put together with a more reasonable understanding of the risk level.

You can use statistics to support either side of the motorcycle safety debate. The most determining factor of your safety on a bike is YOU, not other riders, and statistics are based on other riders. If you are an idiot, stick to cars, better yet, save the rest of us and don't drive at all. If you've got a brain, and use it, any vehicle can be reasonably safe. Unfortunately stupid people are too stupid to realize how stupid they are, as is evident by the driving behavior of most people on the road. We all have stupid moments. Anyone can make a mistake. There is always some risk. But use your head, seek out formal training, wear protective gear, ride within your limits and THINK AHEAD. Riding ability doesn't come from instinct and talent, it comes from training and thinking.

I can understand why people don't want their family riding bikes. My wife is really pushing to ride her own bike and yowsa that make me nervous!

I have similear experiences to fcasado. My wife didn't ride bikes before we met and now she is always asking to go on weekend rides as a passenger and is eager to start a long trip with me. We've been talking about the transam trail. And like I said in my previous post she also wants to ride her own bike. It is the same story with my older brother who is married with a kid and they both still ride their bike together. It is such a great experience to have together. It's a shame to be scared away from such a great experience by stupid people who rack up bad statistics or just simple fear of the unknown. That said I never really encourage anyone to learn how to ride motorcycles. It is one of those things that you really need to put the effort into learning about in order to be safe, not just take it on as a casual hobby.

some good advice here. Im lucky as my wife lets me do what I want.

Life is short and is to be enjoyed, my Mum never let me have a bike, so when I moved out I did the test and then bought a scooter, I forgot to tell he it was 800cc! She sort of got used to the idea by then.

Grant makes a good point that whilst accidents do occur many many accidents can be avoided, you will realise after good training how much is in your hands (athough clearly not all accidents can be avoided).

She´s your girlfriend so you have to work with her on helping her get over her problem (and it is a problem and it is hers and not yours). These days personally I just tell people straight what I think. I have to say im sick of being told by obese smokers about how dangerous bikes are.

welcome to the family!

bob

Hiya,

We'll I've read quite a few of the replies on this post and to be honest.... skimmed few some of the others.....

We are quite lucky as Trent and I had both been riding for a while when we got together at 20... Trent since he was aged 6 and I since I was 15 (we're from small town NZ!). Personally I think that by learning at such a young age we were able to bypass the "fear" that so many friends have gone through from learning, getting licenced etc at a later age. I wouldn't be keen to have to go through it all again now.

So, at 35 years old, about 10000km into our trip from UK to NZ (yep we took the scenic route) I had a bit of a spill in Turkey. Nothing major, but gave me a bit of a fright. When I was talking to my Dad about it a couple of days later I realised how lucky I was to have had parents who when I said at 15 "I wan't a motorbike" didn't try talking me out of it instead made me do the whole thing properly (as well as paying for it myself!). Good gear, extra safety courses etc... My Dad's attitude when I spoke to him from Turkey was if you're gonna ride halfway around the world then chances are then you've got to take to good with the bad. Once again though, I say this incident was nothing major.

We were just lucky that by the time the idea for our trip came around we were both already riders!!!!

It's a real bummer when people are held back by other people's fears. I still freak out when my husband and my brother are out on their roadbikes on a Sunday afternoon in south east England... But I'm afraid that is my nature.

You can't make someone live your dream as much as you can't make them live yours.

Just my 2 cents worth....

Jacqui

This is what most people think.

"Riding a motorcycle is bad. It's dangerous !
You should take up a healthy wholesome sport like horseback riding.
Those bikes are dangerous, I saw that on TV"

Below is part of an article about the "safe sport"
from http://www.hughston.com/hha/a.horse.htm

Horseback Riding
Injuries and Safety Tips

An estimated 30 million Americans ride horses each year. However, more than 2,300 riders under the age of 25 years are hospitalized annually because of horseback-riding injuries. The reason is that some activities, such as jumping and cross-country, are inherently risky because horses can weigh up to 1,500 pounds, travel as fast as 30 mph, and stand as tall as 3 meters high. Most injuries result from falling off the horse, which can lead to severe and sometimes fatal injuries.

Believe it or not!
Horseback riding carries a higher injury rate than motorcycle riding. On average, motorcyclists suffer an injury once every 7000 hours of riding. By contrast, an equestrian (horseback rider) may have a serious accident once every 350 hours.

Come on Toby, we are all waiting - did you do as the advice quoted here or are you now married/mortgage/perhaps a kid (and no bike!!!)?

Dave

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Dave

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Hello all,

Many thanks for all the advice, it's been great to read about everyone's experiences and views and opinions.

Here is an update:

It took a long time but my girlfriend eventually realised that my motorbike interest was going to be more than just a fad and has now accepted it!!

I make a point to email her when I get in to work so that she won't worry I have had an accident :-)

I am still riding a Yamaha YBR-125 and absolutely love riding it, despite its reputation as a dull bike. I have been commuting with it for almost a year and still look forward to the end of the day so that I can go on my 30 min journey back home.

I passed CBT in June (if I remember correctly) and am currently deciding between going for a DAS course or just get a restricted license (doing the test on my 125cc). Cost plays a big part in this, as the DAS would set me back at least £500. I am planning to get my license before summer is over.

Last week I handed in my notice at work (mundane office job as a marketing manager), I have saved some money that will cover the mortgage for a while and will take it easy for as long as I can... I definitely am looking to travel and have been inspired by both German touring magazines (less speed-centric than the general UK bike magazines) and of course the Horizons DVD.

Now I just need to decide on a bike, I guess it all depends on which license I end up with. I've been thinking of a shorter European trip to begin with, probably riding from London to Sweden to see my parents.

So as it happens my girlfriend has come to accept my new interest and the plans I have for the next few years, and in the end she has proven very understanding, being fine with me "just taking it easy and doing my thing" for the next year or so.

Best,
Toby

Hey Toby,
That's great - good news indeed and glad that it has all worked out for you!!!

Keep riding with the rubber side downward and you won't go far wrong!
Good luck with all your plans for the future.

Cheers,

Dave

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Dave

Thanks for the update, sounds as though things have worked out very well.

Just want to add this; I'm not sure how it works at all in the UK, but I think it would pay, i.e make sense/be beneficial, to have the fullest version of a bike license that you can get. Mostly just for travel insurance purposes - I've found it seems to be cover for full licence, or no cover at all.
But others can correct me on this, it's just my thoughts.

Best of luck