Originally Posted by Erik_G

This was not supposed to be just any year.
But THE year.
But I am stuck in Sweden, before I took of.

4 years ago, my wife decided to start a new life without me.
I still had some years left to work.
I am 63 years old this year. I decided 3 years ago that 63 would be enough and retire at that age. Everything went according to plan. I am now retired.
Kids have left home since before.
The plan was also to sell the house. To be able to travel free, without paying for and worrying about a house. Job done. House sold. New owners 2 weeks from now.
I needed another type of bike that those I have. They are more classic bikes that have been restoration projects. No long distance bikes. So I bought myself a Suzuki DL 650. XT model. And modified.
Money is needed. Even the pension will cover part of budget travelling. So I saved some while I still had a salary.

=>
* No family
* No job
* No house
* Bike ready
* Money in the bank


But I needed somewhere to live. As a base=> Portugal has 9 month of MC season, compared to 3 as we have in Sweden. (That is why we build so nice custom bikes i Sweden. We have 9 month i the garage every year)
* Apartment bought. Small and cheap. Just to Lock up and leave when I want.

Plan was to travel around in Europe. But to make the trip of my dreams. South America. Long time ago, I was in Ecuador. Since than I have been dreaming of doing SA on bike (or back packer)
* Shipping is booked in container to Valparaiso

Than comes Corona. And stops my dreams. Just when it was time to start. After 3-4 years of planning, preparation and dreaming.
I know I should be happy for a lot. And that things could be much worse.
But it is just a common pattern in my life. That when I have passed hard times and am ready to enjoy something. Than some shit happens.
I am sober alcoholic since many years. I have been through 2 divorces, one other crashed relation lately, endless numbers of redundancy processes at work, stress from work that almost put me in hospital, 2 heap operations, 1 heart operation.

I can't help it. But I feel like Sisyphus.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisyphus

As soon as I think that something is over.
The struggle to get the stone up that hill.
Something/someone makes it roll down again.

And at my age, I do not know if I will get more chances.
=> I get depressed and are ready to give up.

Best is to lower ambitions and expectations.
With no expectations, there will be no disappointments.