I was in a similarish situation:I had planned to travel for years, I had been looking for exciting and new challenges, I also did some military time, and I also met a girl.

The girl of my particular dreams walked back into my life after an 8 year hiatus, only 8 months before I was due to go on the trip. I was lucky, I had wanted her since we were kids, back when she was my best friends girl, and 14 years old. I went ahead with the trip, despite there being no possibility that she could come with me.

I have seen some incredible things and met some incredible people in the 4 weeks I have been gone, but I have also realised something important.

I rode through the Sierra Nevada, the Pyrenees, the Rif and the Atlas, and were stunningly grand and life affirmingly belittling. But if you squint they could be the Peak District, or the Cairngorms, where I have spent wonderful holidays with Han. I swam in the Med and the Atlantic, and tasted their warmth and foreign salt. I have watched incredible sunsets that set the whole sky on fire and turned the world red, and seen cities wake up under tentative morning suns, but I have woke up under them alone. The world is an incomprehendibly beautiful place to live. BUT, it is the people who make our world, which is no more than a lonely rock to live and breathe on.

You can see the sun set over every city in the world, climb every mountain and swim every sea, but if the person you want to be with isnt there, you may as well stare at a candle, stand on a molehill and splash yourself with tap water for all it will make you feel.

I have found this out by leaving, and nobody could have given me any advice to stop me leaving, and I dont regret it, I am having a great adventure, and I have learned this about myself. I think you might have to do the same thing; otherwise you will always regret it and hold it against her. If it is real she will let you go, and will take you back again.

While being on the road is awesome, and is something I love, as you obviously do, I have realised that what I had at home was special, and so am not going to spend as long away as I planned. Instead I am going to come back earlier, save some money away and restart my trip with a little extra baggage. Well, maybe baggage is the wrong word, too many connotations, lets say I will be bringing about 5 foot of extra luggage with me next time.

You might think that your heart is set on doing the trip, then when you get out on the road find you left that heart at home.

Birdy