I have quite often had the red light on the Optimate when connecting up, on batteries that I know are good. Disconnecting and reconnecting usually fixes it, so don't take the red light as a disaster unless it's doing it all the time.
Batteries will get a bit warm after a long trip as they have been 'on charge' continuously, but I've never had one get what you might call 'hot'. Sounds like the battery may be u/s, taking it all together.
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