TRANSLATION - (for all you soft southerners and johnny foreigners)

"Orlrayt me ode ,welcom t'madhus ,thaas got a fair sillekshin o bykes septink fer t'Harley , but nee'er mind youth ,we all mek misteks once in a while."

Hello friend, welcome to the madhouse, you've got a good selection of bikes except for the Harley, but never mind friend, we all make mistakes once in a while.

"At las sumun as cnn tork rayt"

At last someone who speaks properly

"Tek no nowtis o theez mardy boggers , sum on emz a bit stuck up , ride new BMWs an all that guz wi 'em - rayt tup eads sum on em !
Weather's a bit nesh ovver ere , bliddy snow , sowz ar reckin arl mash some tea and ay five minnits afore ar guz aht wit shovel t dig missen aht .
Dunna rekkin arl get biyk aht fur annuther month or tew.
Ah well ard best gerron .
Sithee !"

Take no notice of these wimpy immature people, some of them think they are better than us, ride new BMW's with everything, not very clever some of them.
The weather is somewhat cool here, some snow, so I think I'll make some tea and have a break before I go outside and clear the snow away to dig myself out.
I don't think I'll be riding my bike for another month or two.
Well, I better get going.
Bye bye.

"Sithee fella, yer upteryerarse in snaaa! git yer uvver aif ter dee all shuvellin, nee yowse keepin a bleedin dog an barkin thissen!"

So friend, what you want to do if you have a lot of snow is to persuade your wife to clear it, it is no use having a dog and barking yourself.

That's all for now, oops, I meant to say, tha's rait youth.
P.S. the meat pies have come.