Maaaaate!
Long Way Round????? They should have called that "I'll take the high road". Jejeje

Two weeks ago I came home to find my Mum (yeah, right my MUM I'm living with my Mum while I plan my Jnauary trip; gotta love her): watching TLWR to try and experience what her "little boy" (I'm 30+) had been through.

I saw two motorbikes being loaded onto AllWheelDrive trucks, while the boys drank hot coffee from the third of their 7 support vehicles and chatted with... GET THIS!!!... their traveling medico! That is funny. Yes I mean, really funny, then sad, than aggravating, then funny again. This was 20 minute sof television.. I don't get it.

Perspective, man. I had the same river crossing in Honduras. the rains had commenced , so the locals had warned me (this is what it's all about dude) that I had a small window to ride 40 kilometres of rocky donkey trails to beat the the rising river crossing or I would be stranded. I ignored their sperior knowledge of the local conditions (I was already low on petrol).

The ride their through a tunnelled canopy of jungle with birds racing the bike ahead of me cos they were going too fast to re-enter the jungle canopy is possibly the most out of this world thing I have ever seen. ( Bit melodramatic cos I say that about many memories). Rambling... anywaaaaay.

I arrive at the river, waters are rising and I have to get across now or I'm stuffed. (40km of hard enduro is about an hour and a half give or take). I've got my whole life strapped on the back of a pissy little Suzuki DR 200 that I bought in Guatemala (Laptop, 2x cameras, tools, spare tube, clutch, tent hammock and not many clothes or anything else cos this bike was a baaaaby...

I give it the best she's got ; to try and aqua plane half teh river crossing (about 25meters to halfway).

Aqua planing a DR200 is huge mistake, lol. I've made about 25metres of my crossing when the chain hits a rock so hard it flys off and jams in the rear wheel.

Hmmm...No trucks, no NAV SAT, no support crew...

The water is rising, I'm shitting myself. fight or flight????

First instinct:look for help... there is no-one:
Second, drop the bike, **** it I am over this shit. I'm gonna walk the next 25,000 kms!
Third instinct: after crying a little, kicking the water a bit more, cursing a LOT (God, Honduras, Latinos, gringos, myself, Suzuki...)...
I drag the bike, through rapid waters about 45cm deep to a boulder rising from the midst of the water.

Prop the back up, pull out my tools, try and pry the chain loose, (waters rushing along, bike is balancing on a rock, I'm edging toward panic) ... no go!

Drop the rear wheel off the bike, free the chain, put the wheel back on.

I tell you i will never again achieve a 35 second solo wheel removal and replacement again. I have hit my PB. Ferrai F1 feel free to contact me via my email...

Waters have risen about 10 cms more (This is alot!!! I am at about maximum depth before I'm screwed and I'm losing everything.

Revving the **** out of it, i make the opposite shore semi-hysterical; laughing, crying, screaming, punching the air. Sit down o the bank and reward myself with a big Havana cigar and a few swigs from a $5 bottle of rum. Aaaaaaah.

Now, the true hilarity.

A few Hondurans had sat and watched this from high up on the bank, kept quiet and pissed them selves laughing. I am POSITIVE they were barracking for the river. They come down and want to join my celebration cause they hadn't realised I had rum and cigars. (I assure you if they had , I'd have had a dozen guys carrying the bike out of the river).

I shared my rum and cigar, (road rage doesn't exist in the jungle), and to my great pleasure was offered a joint! What a magnificent end to an adventure, smoking a BIGGGG Scoob in the jungle, at the side of a raging river that nearly ended my journey.

Heaven... that truly is the garden of Eden. It is your constant rewrad on the road, that you will visit Eden after the greatest tests. Nearly every time.

So... dude... standing around whining while your 10 wheel, All Wheel Drive trucks cross your bike for you? Hardly good TV. That wasn't riding mate, that was The Ewan McGregor Show. No more, no less.

POST NOTE: JUST REALISED THIS WAS SUCH AN OOOOOOLD PSOT> Uplate...lol. But will leave it here cos I went to teh trouble to write one of my stories down....
(aren't I feeling dumb!)

Deadly story, boss! Makes me want to head out the door right now!