Ahhhh........ the meaning of life! Well, almost. Not surprising that this post has generated such diverse replies. Alone or with a partner? I think Chris Scott said it best in the AMH: "Most people will instinctively know whether they want to travel alone or not".

I've been a lurker for far too long on the HU site, trying to think if there was anything valuable I could add to the immense experiences some of you have had - I still don't think I can say anything you haven't already heard. But now it's time to throw my 2 cents worth into the pot. This topic is eerily close to my own heart right now.

I live in Canada and have been planning a trip to Ushuaia for nearly 3 years. Originally it was going to be a group ride of about 3 months long, shipping the bikes home from BA, but as time went on the trip got bigger for me and now looks like it may be a year or more. I always dreamt of meeting a girl who enjoyed riding, camping and travelling as much as I do, and would be in a position in her life that allowed her to join me. I am the type of person who instinctively knows I want to ride with a partner. Preferrably a signifigant other, but someone to relive those experiences with for many years to come. Unfortunately, I wasn't having any luck meeting anyone like that, even my riding buddies didn't do trips like that. Besides, how would I know what a trip this big was like if I didn't give it a try. Other people have done it alone and really enjoyed it, and I've done several week or two trips alone that I enjoyed, so I decided to go - no matter what.

Then one day out of the blue in April 2005 I met a woman I had known 10 years earlier. I always thought she was a real catch back then, but our lives were headed down different paths, and it never even really got started. She got married and I entered into a long-term relationship, both of which ended. When I met her again this time, we were in different places in our lives and everything just clicked. And guess what? She loved riding pillion on my bike! I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life, but I immediately told her about my trip plans and that I wasn't prepared to change them. She was of course welcome to join me, but she didn't have any experience on a bike. We decided that a 10 day trip to the HU meeting in BC in September would be the decision point. Almost the entire trip was cold and rainy, but I thought perhaps it was for the best so that she had a truer understanding of what bikers can go through (it's not always sunny is it?). She didn't complain, and thought long and hard about it for two weeks afterward (while I secretly prayed she would say yes). Guess what? She did! Wow what a girl! I was so very impressed by her trust in me and willingness to try something new in her life. I was the happiest person you could find.

But that was last year. With the trip getting closer and things starting to happen, she started doing less and less and I could see the drive diminishing. We talked to another couple who are riding two-up in SA right now (thanks to HU) so that she could get another woman's perspective on things once on the road, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't hard to see that her fears of the unknow were getting the best of her, and I am helpless to change them.

Now you can see why this post struck a chord in my heart. I am envious of all of you that have a partner who desires to be with you so much - no matter what you do. You are truly blessed. But I cannot change this now, and I must stay true to myself and continue this trip. Any riders care to share the road? I leave September 25th.

Daren

At this point I would consider giving her the bike.
Maybe you should stay home and get your shit together.
She's ready, are you?

Bill

even to have such a dilemna is a privilege ...

I think this is a bit harsh.

The truth is nobody can really answer this question and probably there is no right answer.

My guess, and this is only a guess, is that you'd rather go it alone but dread the conversation where you tell her that's what you've decided and the hurt it would cause. You're certainly not the first man to have to face that.

Either way, what's the worst that could happen? You get a once-in-a-lifetime trip or a once-in-two-lifetimes trip. Nice problem to have

steve

Harsh is putting someone you care about thruough a bunch of bullshit.
Make a decision and get on with it.
The only way to travel RTW is to get on the bike and ride it.
Bill.

I am doing my trip in the summer of 2008 (and this time I am not going to delay it). I am debating whether I should try and find someone else to go along so it is interesting to read various perspectives on the prospect of one or two.

I must say that if I had a compatible partner who was willing to do a trip like this it would be a no brainer for me. I just don't want to end up traveling with someone that I don't get along with as I would be much too polite to say so and just put up with it which would spoil the trip.

If you are going at the same time your gf is welcome to travel with me

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www.alaska2argentina.co.uk

I'm not planning a rtw but for years i yearned to travel in europe.
i felt there was so much to see, places i had to see, and i'd dreamt it for so long (marriage,house,kids meant i couldnt do it earlier) that i had developed an idea that i had to go it alone as it had becom an almost spritual,emotional thing.
something that in my mind would signal that i had entered the next phase of my life,free from the ties that had bound me for so long (dont get me wrong, i'm very happily marrid and love my kids to bits but money has always been tight).
My family were very understanding, i think the wife put it down to mid life crisis or male menapause. Any way long story short, i get to travel alone to some of the places i'd dreamt of. nowhere dramatic but we all have a different road we want to travell. Thing was, after a couple of solo trips i realised something was missing so on the next trip i took the wife and thats when it all fell into place.
I'd had this passion for so long i'd forgotten about all the times over the years she'd sat and listened to me telling her about the places i wanted to see and what i wanted to do when i got there that she had become part of the adventure without me even realising it.
its a great thing to be able to share your deepest pleasures in life with the person you love most.
have you thought about starting solo and arranging to meet upwith your other half part way round and continuing together, or start together and at an agreed destination you carry on and your partner returns home to hold the fort until you return.

I suppose the most important question is if you love her? If you do you really really need to think of what the most important things in LIFE are to you. Believe me girls like yours are not found in abundance in my experience.

Also, is it possible that the reason you want to travel on your own is because you feel you would be achieving something greater by doing it solo?

Do you know the WHY of your RTW trip? How would your gf going change that?

Also another good question I think is: Does she really want to go RTW or does she just not want to loose you? Because if its the latter, then I think you'd be right to be concerned about her going...

-Neil

If I were your g/f and you tell me, after spending probably a very long time planning the trip etc.. that you are going without me, I would:

1- dump you
2- smash you bike
3- get my own bike
4- rent my house
5- leave for a RTW trip! Solo! Who need a man?!

In another words I would take it v. badly!

Maria

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Maria

www.franglais-riders.com

I second that!

Guys!

I am absolutely AMAZED by the answers given by all the blokes on here!

Almost to the man, you all came up with the sweetest, most sensitive responses -- and there I was thinking you're all a bunch of tough, road-rough, gladiator-esque, nomad-vagabonds!

Nice to know you miss us women-folk every now and again, when a soppy moment presents itself!


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PS

Since the (bloke) who started this thread has seemingly lost interest in the forum, there is no satisfaction (or point) whatsoever for me to respond and say how pathetic it think it is, for him to try and cover up his selfish insecurities, by sugarcoating it in words such as 'she is PERFECT' etc.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with choosing the 'selfish' option, if you believe its right for you. In fact, that would be the mature, sensible thing to do.

But - for sake!!! be a MAN about it and stop making excuses!!

Ofcourse - since he is gone, I would be wasting my time saying all this - so I won't.

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Impasto,

, I feel sure that those who replied are just a very small and unrepresentative sample of the silent majority on this website!

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Dave

What's all that fuzzing about girls who want to travel are difficult to find? Looking to my history, at least 2 out of 3 girls I've dated with would travel to where ever. And looking around me, there's a considerable portion of female friends that are exploring the globe for extended periods. I don't think that's an argument.

Thing is that none of us can read the future, and none of us knows the complete context. So none of us can give a decent advise, except then 'make up your own mind'.

There will be examples of men leavig a great girl and depart on a great adventure, and live an amazing life, there will be examples of men leaving a great girl and living a miserable life. And the same will be true for men not leaving there girl, some living an amazing life, for others it will be boring.

So if you make up your mind, let us know, and, if it'll cause grief, try to keep the damage limited (which might cause more grief at your side). And further, try to be satisfied with your life when you die.

;-)

Robbert,
You've got to be kidding. I've met about three in my entire life who weren't already taken.
Matt

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http://adventure-writing.blogspot.com

http://scotlandnepal.blogspot.com/

*Disclaimer* - I am not saying my bike is better than your bike. I am not saying my way is better than your way. I am not mocking your religion/politics/other belief system. When reading my post imagine me sitting behind a frothing pint of ale, smiling and offering you a bag of peanuts. This is the sentiment in which my post is made. Please accept it as such!

Go on the RTW. I planned for years and finally (skin cancer etc. postponed the trip) 5 years later I am out of here. Go. With or without her, but go.

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http://www.nohorizons.net