I went into the centre of Derby to get a job done with younger daughter and we wore our masks. Unlike about 75% of the people there. The worst people were the pensioners, I really can’t get over how dense people are. Arses.

I didn’t even get the bloody job done as Vodafone’s back office system, that I needed to be working, wasn’t. Arse.

Still, on the the other hand, I have handed myself a perfect opportunity to go again next weekend (when everyone in the UK has to wear masks in shops - still the muppets will put the mask over their mouth but leave the nose exposed - arses) as this evening I managed to tread on my glasses that had fallen out of my pocket so I am now using the spare pair. Arse.

Still, on the other hand, I have got to get some new glasses as I realised today that my prescription has changed sufficiently that I now am only marginally better off with glasses when driving than without - in other words my eyesight is getting longer sighted and correcting the short sightedness that I have had since I was 18 years. I can’t see anything with my glasses on near to so I am going to have to get bifocals. Arse.

So on the basis that the UK populations are made up of 75% idiots and at least one clumsy, ageing motorcyclist I suspect that, firstly, the Covid situation in the UK will get worse and we have a second national lockdown (I have little doubt that the idiots of Derby are not alone) and secondly, that I will still manage to lose my new glasses regularly.

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You will have to do without pocket handkerchiefs, and a great many other things, before we reach our journey's end, Bilbo Baggins. You were born to the rolling hills and little rivers of the Shire, but home is now behind you. The world is ahead.