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Photo by Marc Gibaud, Clouds on Tres Cerros and Mount Fitzroy, Argentinian Patagonia

25 years of HU Events


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Photo by Marc Gibaud,
Clouds on Tres Cerros and
Mount Fitzroy, Argentinian Patagonia



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  #1  
Old 2 Mar 2009
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I work with inner city Scouse kids who we take on holidays out of the city. We have an entire collection of gems from them, but one of them did ask last summer, as she ate her fish and chips, "What exactly is fish?"
We were a bit baffled as to how to explain the bleeding obvious, came up with, "They're animals that swim in the sea, and you kill them and eat them". Which prompted much disgust but didn't stop her eating it, so I'm not sure she believed us...

Laura
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  #2  
Old 2 Mar 2009
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Originally Posted by Laura Bennitt View Post
I work with inner city Scouse kids who we take on holidays out of the city. We have an entire collection of gems from them, but one of them did ask last summer, as she ate her fish and chips, "What exactly is fish?"
We were a bit baffled as to how to explain the bleeding obvious, came up with, "They're animals that swim in the sea, and you kill them and eat them". Which prompted much disgust but didn't stop her eating it, so I'm not sure she believed us...

Laura
You should hear about the things the fish get up to in the sea, yuk

My best one from work was a mechanic who asked to describe a brake valve he needed technical info on said "It's black or maybe silver and has some hose things sticking out, or maybe they're wires". I think I might have suggested that those were made by our competitors and he should ring them, but I'm bad like that. . I did note which dealer network he worked for though.

Andy
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  #3  
Old 2 Mar 2009
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Speaking of elderly transatlantic tourists in Windsor, one was allegedly heard to say, as a fully loaded Jumbo Jet took off from Heathrow and groaned slowly over Windsor Castle:

"Jeeez, why on earth did the Queen build this place under the flight path!"

Also went in a fantastic old Gales pub in Surrey once that had hundreds of clay pipes hanging from the ceiling, many original oak beams and the Lager pump hidden under a curtain.

The two old brothers who owned it were always out to tease the tourists and had a selection of very realistic skulls sitting behind the bar and I couldn't help myself from falling into the trap and casually asked if they were real.

One of the old geezers said, well as your with Rob, (it was his local), I'll tell you what we do. When a party of tourists come in, he says it works best on the Americans, as they always ask about the skulls, so we tell em and the best one went something like this when a party of 20 came in and the ring leader asked the expected question:

"Hey, Barman, why have you got all those old skulls at the back of the bar?"

To which he replied " Ah the skulls, we have been most fortunate to have procured them over many years and they are all original and we are very proud of our collection"

"Well do you know who they were?" asks the tourist, on behalf of the now spellbound group.

"Oh, see that one at the back, that was Dickens"

" What Charles Dickens, the author?"

"Yes, that's the one"

"That's awesome, who is the one next to it?

" Oh that's Dick Turpin and that's his hat behind him"

"Oh My God Mrytle, did you hear that, it's Dick Turpin and his hat"

And so it goes on until the last two skulls, of which one is smaller then the other.

"Wow, that's amazing, to think that we have just seen Shakespeare's skull. Tell me Barman, what's the story about those two? " he asks.

"Well, the big one is Nelson's skull, which was detatched and stored in a small barrel of rum, just after the Battle of Trafalgar"

With this, the tourists are at fever pitch and can't believe that there is so much history and are all so glad they were bought into this amazing old pub, but all are keenly looking at the smaller and last skull in the collection.

"Well, don't keep us all in suspense, whose is the small skull next to Nelson's skull?"

Oh, it's still him, that was Nelson when he was a boy!"

After a few minutes of total confusion, he looked the Barman right in the eyes and said:

"Oh, get out of here, you're just kidding, right?" and then the whole place collapses into uncontrolable laughter, as all the locals are listening in.

Wish I'd been there that night. Funny!

Cheers


Chris
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  #4  
Old 2 Mar 2009
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Was it?
Well don't keep us on tenter hooks. Was it or not? Linzi.
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  #5  
Old 3 Mar 2009
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I see no ships!
Hi Linzi

It was his, the giveaway being the eyepatch and smell of rum!

Hoping to get to Brighton meet, so I can put a face to a name. Catch up soon.

Cheers

Chris
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