Ok, so acid burnt bell-ends aside, the question still remains..
You're out in the middle of nowhere, VRR Uckfayed, Battery Boiled...
Could you - theoretically - locate a 12v battery from somewhere, and hook it up to the bike, disconnect the alternator (on account that you don't want it to fry the replacement battery either) and run on battery power alone until you get somewhere you can source replacements?
G
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I wish my wheelies were intentional...
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