agreed you have to really fight with ethio travel and tours to do anything. they are frustrating but the medicore one of a bad bunch. the other main operator, next to the axum hotel (cant remember name but run by a sneaky german girl - carmen) is complete rubbish - only told us they were cancelling our 'tour' the day we arrivved, so as to make sure we couldnt join another company!
it is possible to go yourself, but you need i think space for a 'guide' as above, plus 2 military officers. you also need to feed them etc. so the tour companies will give you a 'guide car' which you can follow but asked us to pay $1500 for the trouble. It was actually cheaper to go in one of their vehicles
the rains we hit were pretty epic
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