Seven days in the sun...
Originally published: 9th October 2007

Leaving Alice Springs with my lovely new tyres, I was faced with the problem of what to do with my old ones which weren't quite completely worn out (and that I was to be charged silly-money to get rid of). It goes against the grain to throw things away that are still perfectly usable, so, to that end I created a 'tyre cache'.

Any fellow motorcycle travellers or people near Alice Springs, this one is for you. There is a Bridgestone Trailwing TW41 21" front tyre, 65% worn and a Dunlop D605 4.60-17" rear tyre, 80% worn buried at these coordinates: S23deg 49' 21.8" E133deg 28' 25.7", opposite the turn-off for 'Glen Helen' at the base of a large tree. Hopefully someone will be able to use them for something, they just weren't quite up to getting me all the way back to Perth. Which was certainly proven by the state of my new D605 on arrival in Western Australia.


Anyway, back to business. I made my way down from Alice Springs over towards Ayers Rock (Uluru), because it's apparently an offence punishable by 50 lashes to not go and see 'the rock' when you visit Australia. I have to admit to being a little underwhelmed at first glance, I actually found Mount Conner (just down the road) a lot more visually impressive from a distance. It's hard not to be a little in awe of Uluru when you get up close though, it's sheer size in the middle of an otherwise fairly empty landscape, makes you stop and stare. That is until the millions of flies that are also on a holiday to Uluru find you, then you rapidly continue walking.


A note to prospective visitors: it is definitely not advisable to walk around the base of Uluru at midday, in motorcycle trousers. To say it was a little warm would be an understatement. The controversial question of "to climb or not to climb?" was answered for me, as the route to the top was closed due to predicted temperatures in excess of 36deg C. I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have done it anyway, it looked like bloody hard work!


From there I proceeded over to the other geologically knobbly feature of the area, the Olgas. This was also where I would join the eastern end of the Great Central "Road", which would take me through the centre of Australia over to the west. Of course mother nature (as always) had been watching, plotting and biding her time, so by the time I started out on the sandy track into the interior of Australia, the wind was blowing as hard as it could.


Normally this isn't more than a minor annoyance, however as the track was made up almost entirely of sand, and the surrounding landscape was predominantly desert; so the gusting wind was whipping up some evil sand storms. The photos don't do them justice, but it was almost a complete 'whiteout' at various points along the track; with me being unable to slow down as I needed to keep the speed reasonably high to be able to navigate the deep sand on the track.


Luckily, by the time I got about 200km along the route, the wind died down a gale-force or two and things became a little less heart-attack inducing. It was quite nice to be able to relax a little bit and not have to worry about crashing into stationary camels, road-trains, pyramids, egyptologists and other desert-related road hazards in the near zero viability.


Speaking of camels, to say there were a few would definitely be an understatement. Luckily they seemed to display slightly more road sense than your average cow, sheep or kangaroo. They've definitely mastered the art of the "dirty look" too; being able to stare you down with an expression that suggests they are thoroughly offended by your presence, and would quite appreciate it if you effed-off as soon as possible.


So after about three days of being looked down at by camels, fighting against the elements, getting ripped off for fuel and generally having a grand old time sliding about; I attained the western end of Great Central Road, by arriving at the town of Laverton. Pretty much the only other traffic on the track up to this point had been four trucks hauling mine equipment, and man were they ever big.


From here, the logical choice would have been to head straight for Perth; however I never made any claims about my grasp of logic, and besides, I had unfinished business to attend to. Up to that point I had visited four of my five targets: the most northerly, easterly, southerly and central points of mainland Australia. People with a good memory will remember that my initial attempt on "Steep Point", the most westerly spot; ended in me wussing out after getting continually bogged down trying to cross the dunes.


This time however, I was not to be put off so easily. After stripping the bike of every bit of unnecessary weight, I had another crack at it. It was basically 40km (80km round trip) of riding through, up, along and over various series of sand dunes. Luckily for me, it would appear that my time round Australia had given me a bit more of a grasp on the off-road skills required than I had last time (and possibly less weight too), so it actually turned out to be quite good fun once I got into the swing of things. I'd also like to mention that there were no bike droppages at all on that day. (Which would make it a rarity I should think)


With the westerly point attained, I now had the complete collectors set of Australian extremities! Unfortunately that also meant that I had to return to Perth, an easy couple of days ride to the south. Unfortunate because that would mark the end of the expedition, and I have to admit to being in no rush whatsoever to stop. I made the most of the time I had left, and was suitably grumpy when packing up my last campsite.


Whilst I wasn't pleased to be finishing, that's not to say there wasn't a certain sense of accomplishment. After all, the grand total was 44,347km or 27,556 miles around Australia. Not bad, even if I do say so myself.


So now I'm back in Perth, editing together a few video clips which I will post on completion, and hopefully earning enough cash to fund the start of my journey "home".

Thanks to all those that supported MSF during this adventure, we finally reached the fund-raising goal! Thanks of course to everyone that supported me too; before, during and after. You know who you are.

A few more additional pictures to tide you over:

All dressed up and nowhere to go...
Originally published: 20th October 2007

Just a short update to show that Gosling One scrubs up quite nicely when she's not being hammered around the outback. I'm a different kettle of fish entirely, it'd take more than a wash to get me looking respectable.

Right, I'm off for a shower...or seven.

Entries after this point are about my return to the UK through China. Not specifically motorcycle related, but I thought you might like to follow it through to the end

Planes, trains and floaty metal things...
Originally published: 1st December 2007

First up, apologies those few valiant souls that read this blog, for the lack of updates just recently; i've been doing some of that...erm, what's it called...horrible stuff...work, yes that's it! so there has been little to report.

My time in Australia is finally drawing to a close, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all the people I've met along the way for their help, support and friendship. The expedition round Australia wouldn't have been the same without you.

I'd also like to offer my gratitude to those who helped support MSF during my motorcycle adventure, and also to mention that the donation page is still open for those that wish to contribute to the good works done by MSF.

What's going on then? Well, let me fill you in... Expiring visas and a bank account that echoes worryingly when you yell into it, means that the time has finally come for me to start the journey "home".

So, how does one get back to the UK from Australia? Direct flight I hear you say? Nay, not for me I cry! Sensible option that, but as I think i've mentioned before, I don't really do sensible any more.

So to that end, I present my route home: (or at least to Italy, from there it's anyone's guess as to how I'll get back to the UK)



Basically it's a flying cigar tube to Singapore (again), then on to Xiamen in China. With any luck from there I'll be catching a train for the 25 hour journey north to Shanghai. Once in Shanghai I intend to run around like a headless chicken, in an attempt to find which berth, and at which port my transport to Italy has docked at; the MV Al Fujairah:

Six demon bag...
Originally published: 11th December 2007

So after bidding a fond farewell to my friends in Perth and Australia itself, I was away to Singapore aboard a soaring metal bird. Arrived at 2am to discover that the mass transit system didn't begin running until 6am, so I spent most of the early hours lurking in the only open coffee shop in the arrivals hall.

After escaping the clutches of the airport, I took in the sights of Singapore (again); hardly felt like any time had passed since I was last stalking the ever so clean and tidy streets. Temperatures were high, and humidity was even higher; it was something like walking through a hot, damp sponge. Not particularly pleasant, trust me.

Returning to the airport on the last train of the night, meant that I was seven hours early for my flight, that's what you get for being stingy and not wanting to spend the extra on a taxi. It did give me plenty of time to practice yoga position in between two airport chairs, whilst trying to get a bit of sleep.

I turned out to be the only non-Asian person on the flight to Xiamen, which meant I ended up near the back of the queue for checking in as I lack the pointy elbows necessary to advance in the Asian queuing system. All checked in eventually though, and the airline even decided to have the safety briefing in English, which I felt was a little pointless.

Arriving in Xiamen I found myself a taxi driver who didn't understand a word of English, which complimented my lack of Mandarin skills quite nicely. We managed to understand each other for the essentials in the end though, and after a taxi ride through the city worthy of Grand Theft Auto. I stumbled out of the taxi and straight into bed. (Not literally though, his driving wasn't quite that bad!)

One sleeping beauty impression later, and I was off to explore Xiamen...which I've been doing for the last few days. No pictures at the moment I'm afraid, as we're not quite that advanced in this hostel. I'll upload some when I get to Shanghai.

Speaking of which, it's a mere 24 hours by train, leaving tonight at about 22:30 and arriving the next day at about the same time. I splashed out on a bed this time; I wasn't going to risk it, not after the buttock torturing experience of the long distance trains in Australia!

I'm finding it quite good fun being "in at the deep end", both culturally and linguistically. Don't have a clue what the hell is going on most of the time, and people on electric bicycles keep trying to flatten me. Eating is an interesting exercise, and I've been following the mantra of "if it looks good, I'll eat it". So far it's stood me in good stead, although I rarely have a clue about what it is I'm eating, until after the event. Nothing illness inducing so far though, just eat where the locals eat.

Stay tuned for pictures, bring on the iron horse!

Chasing the dragon...
Originally published: 15th December 2007

The train was good fun, although it did get a little monotonous after a while, especially not being able to talk to my companions in the carriage; however even if I had been able to, it seemed they were taking the opportunity to catch up on their sleep.


The dining-car had been taken over as an impromptu HQ for the Chinese military, so the options for food were diminished to the bloke with the handcart full of instant noodles. Getting my grubby little mitts on any was another matter though. I think he must have been training for the Beijing Olympics, as by the time you knew he was coming, he'd blasted past at a great rate of knots, and you were forced to run up the train to catch him.







Have been taking in the sights (glimpsed through the ever-present haze), and trying to organise where I need to be to meet my ship.



Somewhere on the river is about as far as i've got so far, and it's a pretty long river. Hopefully I'll be able to narrow it down by the time we sail, as it's a long swim otherwise, and I don't really fancy the look of the water around here.



Not having a lot of luck uploading photos, these are the only ones i've managed to get online at the moment:








This is probably the last update before I board the ship for Italy (at least I HOPE I'll be boarding the ship to Italy), so there will be a bit of a gap between now and the next update.

High seas hijinks...
Originally published: 16th January 2008

After what seemed to be days and days of talking to Chinese brick walls, I finally made contact with the shipping agent. First person he’d ever had embarking from Shanghai apparently, which didn’t fill me with the greatest confidence in his abilities. Turned out he did know what he was doing however, and I made it through all the vagaries of the Chinese immigration / customs system with nary a hitch; signed on board as a new engine technician no less.

Images from the previous post:


Here are some photos from the voyage:

When there's nowhere left to run...
Originally published: 11th February 2008

Just in case people get confused, I've updated the previous two posts to include the images I was unable to upload at the time; don't feel you have to read it all again just to look at the pretty pictures though.

So, let's see where was I...oh yes, lurking with family in the French countryside.

After spending so long in the heat of Australia, what do you do when you reach Europe in the dead of winter? Why you go out and play in the snow as much as possible of course!


Snowshoeing turned out to be huge amounts of fun, and I only looked marginally more ludicrous than normal whilst wearing them.



I also busied myself helping sort out various log-related issues, splitting, moving, stacking etc. and remarkably came away with all my digits accounted for. Not wishing to push my luck with an axe too far, I bade farewell to my family and headed back to Italy on the train, then up north to Switzerland. I was intending to do some more freeloading with family-types you see, and they live in Switzerland, where I could hopefully expand my collection of gold bars and cuckoo clocks.



Spent a week or so there, had a whale of a time. Surprisingly I ended up doing more wood related activities, this time with a chainsaw and a jeep however; so the potential for involuntary amputation was a little higher. Luck was still with me though, and I came away unscathed, despite my best efforts to make use of my travel insurance policy. There was a point behind all this chopping and hacking mind you, namely staying warm in the sub-zero Switzerland temperatures.



I re-awakened a long dormant love of waist-deep snow while I was there, much better than those limp wristed winters we get in England. (although even the lightest dusting of the white stuff seems to be enough to cause widespread panic and chaos)



Next stop after Switzerland was Germany, to visit a friend that I first met in Broome, Australia no less. That's one of the great things about this travelling malarky, the random encounters which then lead on to more encounters and more things. Spent a nice few days in the fatherland; before jumping (well, more like stumbling) onto a night train through Germany and France; and arriving at Dieppe in the dingy morning light, and the pouring rain. The weather, once again proving to be a suitable metaphor for my mood at the time.

A rather minuscule vessel (I'm used to bigger things now dontcha know), had me across the ditch (English Channel) in a little over four hours. I stepped out of the gloomy interior, into blazing sunshine, clear blue skies and onto British soil at exactly 15:47 and 36sec on 30/01/2008. Just short of three years since I left.




For those that don't like flying, the trip from Shanghai in China to Newport in England, was completed without leaving the ground once; not too shabby, even if I do say so myself.

This will be the final blog update for the foreseeable future. I'll be concentrating all my energies on trying to find work and making some money, ostensibly so I can buy a bike and naff off around Europe; but who knows how long that will take. If I get my finger out and crack on, I'll be trying to write something about the Australia bike section of the trip: if nothing else, it beats looking for a real job for a while. I'll also make a proper "ArseAboutFace" website, so stay tuned for that. (Although I recommend not holding your breath)

Many thanks to all those that donated to MSF while I was on the motorcycle expedition, and my eternal gratitude to all those I met along the way who made it such a pleasurable experience. You know who you are.

Be excellent to each other.

Made a few videos after the expedition as well, here's a sample one for you:



Feel free to check out the rest via YouTube or my own site at Arse About Face - 44347km (27556 miles) around Australia by Motorcycle - Book coming soon!

Current quest is now trying to get the book about the motorcycle expedition published. Easier said than done it seems, even if you've actually already written the damn thing!

If anyone read 'Adventure Bike Rider' magazine. There's an article appearing in Issue 4 written by me, based on the Tasmania leg of my trip. Should be out around the end of March I think.

It's great, honest it is. I reckon it'll be worth a read at least!

I'll post the panoramic photos in here as well (other than just on my site) when I have a sec to sort them out!

Tally ho!

The panoramic images from the trip as well, click the link below each image to view the bigger version. (They're pretty big, so consider yourself warned!)



'Gunshot Creek', Telegraph Track
Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_gunshotcreek.jpg


Creek crossing via log-bridge, Telegraph Track
Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_logbridge.jpg


Camping at Nolans Brook, Telegraph Track to Cape York
Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_nolanscamp.jpg


Cape York, the very top of Australia
Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_capeyork.jpg


Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_wurumadam.jpg


Cairns
Full size version:
http://www.arseaboutface.com/oz/pano_cairns.jpg

Happy trails