Sorry to hear about the issues that you are having. All of the border stations are not connected, so refusal in 1 doesnt register in the next. However, once entered into the database, it is now in the central system.
I live on the border of Canada and Detroit Mich usa. Its not uncommon to hear of people who live here getting refused from time to time. Border guards sometimes cant think outside the box, and your trip is definitely outside the box for thier logic. However, you might try getting someone to drive you over in a US plated car, and have your car driven over by a US driver, with note allowing use. This could still be risky if they decided to plug your details into the computer.
A safer option would be to put you car on a ship train, or have someone drive it or trailer it to Mexico, and you could just fly to Mexico. Honestly, USA is nice and has alot of cool places to go to, but its only 1 piece of the pie, and you can get around it and carryon and hope to come back one day and tour it seperately. I know its not how you imagined it, but it may be required. Id also look into the UK embassy here in Canada and maybe the US consolate and see if you can get some room to move with either.
There is always the option of taking your car over with nothing in it, for a "day tip" to see the USA. While someone frmo Canada can bring your gear over and meet you there. Then, you are free to roam. This is fairly common on the border. Guys that were flagged will cross in a pretty empty car, citing Shopping and site seeing as the reason to go over. No red flags, waves you on. Later your buddy crosses with crap in the car, he has no worries about crossing so just says its crap he had forgot to clear out of his car before he crossed. All are ideas, most are not 100% legit and truthful, but you might need to bend the rules on the borders a little.
A thought might be to have someone you know in UK with a business say you guys work for them, were hired before you left and start on return from your trip. There is proff of employment.
Wish I could be more helep, but... the US border is the TWILIGHT ZONE really.
Best wishes and best of luck on this. let us know how you do.
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