How to fight depression?
 

Since a holiday with my parents to visit family in Botswana (about 25 years ago) I've been dreaming of travelling the world.
But what started as a dream is now slipping through my fingers like the diarrhea I had in Morocco..

Life hadn't been exactly easy for me for the last 9 years.
I had a motorcycle accident in 2004.
Was fired the year after because I needed surgery.
Cheated on my former girlfriend in 2007, because our relationship was missing that extra something.
Turned out she'd been sexually abused by her stepbrother as a 4 year old.
The same year her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
We (or at least I) tried to cling on to a relationship that wasn't working anymore, 3 years after the breakup was inevitable.
It all had a serious impact on my performance at work, so I got fired again.

At that point I decided it was enough and that I was going to do this motorbike world trip thing.
So last year Marianne and I finally took off on what should have been the biggest achievement in my life.

The plan was to circumnavigate the world in about three years, starting with Africa. West side down,
east side up. We got to Jo'burg. Where we found out the bikes weren't good anymore to finish our trip.
So in December we flew back 'home', bought two 'new' bikes (R100GS) prepared them for the rest of the journey.
And since the the 30th of March we are on the road again. And although it always had been my dream to do it on
a R100GS, I'm NOT enjoying!!! In fact I'm not enjoying riding anymore...
In Albania, while offroading Marianne tumbled of her bike pretty hard. So we went back to Germany, to get some new gear.
Since then we have been pretty unlucky with weather conditions. Bad luck with our visas. Everything seems to be falling apart (tent, boots, etc).
The tar roads in Turkey were boring us. So we recently tried some offroading in Georgia. We had to turn back (once again)
because road conditions were pretty bad, and taking a beating at Marianne's stamina. I almost skidded of the road into a river.
Which got me thinking what the HELL am I doing???

Riding a motorbike always had been my way of clearing my mind, let everything pass by. But now I'm only thinking about how
f**kep up my life is. That I haven't accomplished anything. Also life on the road is getting hard on me.
I'm annoyed by pretty much everything. The careless driving of people. Even though I'm depressed, I sure don't
wanna be killed because of their recklessness. Too many people on this planet, f**king it up at a serious pace.
etc. etc. I've never been very social but notice I'm avoiding contact and conversations...

Right now (after just two months of riding) we are taking a break. Staying on Thassos for a short holiday.
Trying to enjoy, the weather, food, etc. And also decide whether we should continue our not.
But frankly I don't see the point.

Depression.
 

Hi, I don't know how to solve depression. It is hellish though.
Years ago I was told by someone to stop when you have a problem or situation that seems disastrous. Ask yourself, "Does this problem threaten my life?"
If the answer to that is no, then it is not a really bad problem and you'll laugh about it in years to come.

Beyond that I'd say take care of a relationship. Problems shared are problems halved. Or take a different perspective or view and maybe they're not problems at all.
Finally, helping other, really poor and deprived people can help change your depressive view.

An old Scottish saying, "Smile, things could be worse. So I smiled and you know what? They GOT worse!" He he, Lindsay.

I understand the feeling. I've been on the road 3 years and have hit low points deeper, darker and more depressing than I ever could have imagined possible. Yet I've always gotten through it, usually with the love and acceptance of a complete stranger. Here are a few random thoughts, perhaps you can pull something out that will help you. If you want some more detail, just let me know.

Traveling with someone is very hard. I've seen travel end many relationships. I have seen only a small handful of people travel together more than 6 months who are still happy with it. A friend of mine once said that a day of travel is as intense as a week of living together or an entire month of dating!

Travel changes a person. A lot. Yet accepting that I have changed is sometimes difficult and it has caused me to give myself a lot of grief over the years. This is part of why travel is so hard on relationships as each person is changing in different ways that are not always compatible.

It was hard to let go of my old dreams and accept new dreams.

Any time I feel depressed, angry or frustrated about travel I now know it is time that something must change.

In my experience, everyone traveling for a long period of time goes through the exact same pattern in adjusting to travel. There specific times when everyone traveling either changes how they travel (or who they are) or stops traveling. Common symptoms include: Depression, homesickness, and/or a temporary loss of interest in travel. Those transitions happen every 3-6 months. It seems to take a minimum of 1.5 years for all of them to complete. Not a lot of people last that long, which is fine! Traveling the world for years at a time isn't something everyone enjoys, even those of us who have dreamed of doing so!

Good luck, whatever happens!

Hello,

you can try to get more relaxed making Yoga and meditation.Enjoy the moment.Forget the past and dont worry about the future.And of course an healthy lifestyle with good food without beer and make sport.If this does not work talk with an doctor.Maybe this can be usefull.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc

Mike

Get over it and get on with it!
 

Most people have had hurdles to get over! You are riding, many cant and have far worse issues to deal with! Just think how fortunate you are, look on the bright side of life, take in the surroundings and think again just how fortunate you are to be out there and doing it, harden up and deal with it!

You have my sympathy. I went through a similar experience decades ago, although not on quite such a grand scale as you, and it still affects me now. The one thing I recognised (afterwards, as always) is that you can't ride away from your troubles.

I don't want to come over all pop psychologist with this but I think you need to take some time to take stock. At least you seem to be in a half decent part of the world atm to just kick back and try to think things through. Only you know the totality of your situation - home life, commitments, money etc, but assuming none of those are critical you need to work out what is important to you- and it doesn't need to be the bike trip. Just going through the motions with that while your mind is elsewhere is really not a good idea. As others have said it's stressfull in its own right and forcing yourself to ride and dealing with all the hassle that life on the road involves is just adding fuel to the fire.

I doubt (I couldn't) you'll be able to work out the best way forward on your own without the passage of a considerable period of time (possibly years) so Marianne is going to be a crucial part of trying to work out why you feel the way you do. You need to get some open discussions going between the two of you and be honest with each other.

I know how hard it must have been to come on here and write what you did when everyone else seems to be heading off somewhere in a blaze of enthusiasm and high spirits. Good luck with it all and I hope you come to a decision and a course of action that makes you happy.

I would echo this sentiment. I've known several people with whom I've worked (I would possibly include myself here) who have moved jobs trying to find a positive change in their lives, only to transport their 'baggage' from A to B. Deal with your feelings first, if you can, and then carry on; otherwise it's a papering over the cracks situation. When riding, as many have said, there's a lot of time to sit and think. It would be far better to have dealt with any issues, if possible, so that you can get back to enjoying a ride many people can't undertake.

All the best.

Butt some's times things going well..Why?Because if you come over here, (Athens)you more than welcome to host you, Marianna and the 2 old ladies :))

And Sander, enjoy you trip my friend... The problems are endless in our lifes..We need just to havethe courage to solve them.



Someone who spent a lot of summer in Thassos :)

Thanks for all the replies... I'll filter those things that I think could be useful for me. Right now after a week of Thassos I feel a little better. Enjoyed doing something completely different (or should I say nothing at all). The weather has been nice and the food was nice aswell.
However I'm still not super enthusiastic about riding again. We will however set course back 'home'. Taking some scenic routes through Italy (Amalfi coast, Stelvio). Maybe that will bring back some fun. If it does we might head east, to Mongolia. If not we'll just go home and figure out what's wrong with me...

@Gallos, thanks for the offer. But it looks like we're heading north. I also doubt a big city will improve my state of mind (in general I don't like big cities).

No prob....enjoy the rest of your trip...The offer is valable also for next time ;)

You have my support and positive feelings too. Can I just risk making myself unpopular among any (other) Italians around here and suggest that you skip the amalfi coast and most of Italy in general ? Sure , it's beautiful, but you risk landing up in a particularly crowded hot and unmanageable place and maybe being right in the middle of the tourist trail isn't really what you need right now.
If mountains and scenery are what you want to see then of course the Stelvio pass and DOlomites further north are probably exactly what you need. Might be best to get there crossing the Balkans though, where people are friendly, food and accomodation are great and dirt cheap, and there's no lack of nice scenery.
If you follow my advice then feel free to PM me, I'd be happy to help out in any way I can.
All the best.

Antonio.

Such a scenic drive but hot, crowded, and gridlocked when I was there a few years ago. Had an off day and managed to scrape both sides of the rental car trying to get past a stationary coach on one particularly narrow part of the road. Not a ride I'd suggest if you're feeling a bit down. It's justifiably famous but a victim of its own success.

Due to Marianne seriously dropping her bike in Albania, we've been down and up the Balkans, 3 times this trip. Besides we also read they almost flushed away. So we were looking for some alternatives to get back home. As we mostly skipped Greece on our way to Turkey, it just makes so much sense to do a little trip in Greece and take a ferry to Italy. Besides we are meeting with a friend who is doing Stelvio and Dolomites...
What worries me the most that Marianne planned to visit the leaning tower of Pisa and Rome just for a picture of the Colosseum. I already told her I don't think that really is a good idea. Maybe the crazy driving Italians will have her convinced by the time we get there. :)

I had a friend who was really feeling down after having done a circumnavigation on a sailboat. I took him to lunch one day and had an Air1 station on in the car. We had a great lunch and each went on our way. He called me up about a week later and said that he had been listening to Air1.com on the internet and that it made him feel very happy and that he was pumped to go on a new adventure. Last time I talked to him, he was on a world tour working as a chef in as many countries as he could to really learn all of the regional food tastes. He was in Hong Kong about three months ago last time he called.

I'm also fighting depression while on the road. Mainly because for me it get's lonely sometimes. Every day I have to remind myself how privileged and lucky I am, sometimes that works, many times it doesn't. Many times I wonder why I'm doing this, if it brings me no joy. But like Othalan said, we all struggle at some point if you're on the road for a longer time. Luckily there are the truly magic moments too, that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
But why don't you come down to Kalamata for the Greek HUBB meeting next weekend, after that I'm also on the ferry to Italy.