Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB

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-   -   How to fight depression? (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/travellers-questions-dont-fit-anywhere/how-to-fight-depression-76492)

Bones667 6 Aug 2014 11:00

I was also wondering the same as GM as to how things are going now as well?

Depression is not something to be taken lightly and from experinece of seeing others close to me suffering from this illness, it is not as simple as saying 'man up and get on with it'... Many of us do not understand how the mind works and how low depression can make someone feel.

Last year a very close relative of mine became very withdrawn, negative about life in general and became very low, lost self worth, lack of personal hygine, cut people off etc etc.. which looking back are all syptoms of depression. In hindsight I bleieve he was crying out for help but none of us truely realised how depressed he was until it was too late. Sadly he took his own life and believe me when you are the person that finds him, it is not something I would wish anyone to experience. Telling his wife and children was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

It takes great courage for someone to admit they suffer from depression so please take all advice and help offered wherever possible. Hope it all works out for you.

Take care

Bones

dakaralex 12 Sep 2014 14:34

Bones,

I guess a "Like" isn't the proper word or function to contribute, what you have written about. But I understand you really well and want to contribute, that this is a really really tough job to do and go through!

Since I suffered more then 2 1/2 years with hard depression (leak of hygene, no motivation for anything, staying just in bed...) in this time I meet a man, who suffered himself, but did overcome it and was even back in his "old life" for many years again. So he became, what drug addicted call their "sponsor" for me, since I could call him anytime for help, what I did fairly often.

Last yearhe once called me, that he was feeling depressed again and was mentaly falling down very fast. Off from work, tried to find a therapy, taking pills again, the entire procedure, I was talking to him and tried to help him as much as I could. Finally I couldn't reach him anymore for several weeks and even driving to his home, nobody was around. A bit later his 12 year old son told me his fahter is dead, killed himself with a rope...

The man, who was my hero, helped me soo much and was the living proof for me, that there is a way into a happy life, he couldn't stand for it anymore. Really really sad story....!!!

The big problem, if you suffer so long and once reach the point you did overcome it and gather self-confidence back and then the shit returns it strikes even harder then ever before, because you followed your "new life" and booom again.

That is the point where I am right now and I am really happy and appreciate this treath and all the comments were made! The last time, when my thoughts about suicide became that strong, I always tried to find a clear little moment, when I told myself:

"Before I do that, I jump on my bike and just go, no matter where, how far or how long! Just go!! It can only be better then choice no. 1!"

And I try to tell myself again right now, altough I am asking the same questions. Will I run away from all the problems? What actually are my problems? What if travelling doesn't help? If I return one day, will it start again - if the travell will help? .... and so on...

At the moment I am on short trip. 3 weeks into beautiful Italy and it already changes my mood tremendously. I have almost entire good days, just awesome! And isn't that what we all want? Just feel good right here and right now?

So for myself the decision is made, that next spring I will go on another travell, an unlimited one again. Ship the bike to North-America and go South as long as the tires will last!

I don't want to write only about myself and thank all the responses here. Wheelie, Lorraine, GM, Chris, Bertrand and if I forgot s.o. I like the long post from Wheelie very much with staying in different places, explore them and the people and don't rush at all. I think this is what helped me in person very much on my longest trip, 9 months in 2012. Travelling really really slow, stopped where I liked it, explored the country and the culture and especially the people with a majority of 99% good ones, no matter which country. I also tried to work along the way to afford the travell and after a very simple 3 weeks job in a fruit factory in Italy I felt so tremendously good, because I did sth. myself. I managed it, to travell further and it gave me really a lot!

SO, in 2015 I want to try the same again! "Motorcycle-Therapy" as I named it often. This time on the Panamericana...

Maybe I figure out some answeres again or at least what the problem(s) is/ are...

All the best to everyone, and "Follow your heart!"

Alexander

Bones667 15 Sep 2014 11:04

Thanks for the message Alexander.

Really sorry to hear about your friend.

I wish you all the very best in your future travels. Sounds like you will have a great time crunching the miles at your own pace. :clap:

Stay strong in the mind and body mate. :thumbup1:

Cheers
Bones

Kayjay 16 Sep 2014 12:57

Keep riding often at least on weekend trip to keep away from depression. Many go thro depression months after they complete a long trans countries trip.

Fight fight fight against it.

All the best to one and all.

*Touring Ted* 17 Sep 2014 09:31

I don't think there is anyone who hasn't suffered a form of depression. For some it's obviously far more severe.

I class myself as very privileged. I can see that when things are going well. But I've also suffered from months of negativity and depression. Trapped in your own prison.

I think that A LOT of people are travelling and using this forum because they have looked at travel as a way of fighting that depression (me included). Adventure travel can be so hectic that it's a fantastic distraction, but no cure.

One thing RTW travel does show you is perspective. And that's why I think that travel can help a lot.

When I'm in a low place, I think about the kids I've seen eating rubbish out of bins in Mumbai. Or people dragging firewood for miles in the heat in Malawi on their emaciated bodies. What the F**K have I got to complain about ???? I've never been truly starving, homeless or had to live in fear my whole life.

Anyway, I hope you can conquer your demons. You are in the top 1% of the human population. Considering that you're travelling and 'living the dream' at the moment, that puts you in the top 0.1% of the global population.

Think about that. Maybe look at yourself in the mirror and slap yourself. Then smile at a stranger and I bet they smile back.

Life ain't that bad really is it.....

Ted

chris gale 18 Sep 2014 08:15

Well said Ted....................if you need another shot of tonic may i suggest you watch an episode of Ross Kemps Extreme World , it just reinforces the previous post .
Whilst Dr s , friends and shrinks can help , ultimately only you can put the brakes on the slope you are currently sliding down - its a very hard job and i dont envy you one bit but it can be done .
My parents would say that you could open your heart and let god in - any god , it doesnt matter .....................

Jackdude 25 Sep 2014 15:51

I used to suffer from depression too. A combination of medication, cognitive-behavioural therapy (counselling) and having a big shock making me realise my own problems weren't actually so bad contributed to my recovery. There were times when I was really low and not seeing the point of living anymore. I thought I would never recover. But I did :) So if I could recover so can you, there is hope! Good luck, Jack.

pete3 29 Sep 2014 16:02

Great thread!

What kept me (literally) alive in my darkest years was that I would never hurt my family like my owndamn parents hurt me. Nevertheless I came pretty close to biting on my gun at times.

Another, more positive thought, if you off yourself, you will never find out what lies behind the next corner ... on the road and in your personal life.

What does help me?
- in deepest fits of depression take that little blue pill and curl up on the couch until I get better
- ride daily (and I am not talking cages)
- doing finicky handiwork like metalwork/filing/woodwork, it really gets your mind off depression
- generally doing what feels good for me and mentally collecting these moments
- avoiding people that make me feel bad
- working on situations which bring me down
- leaving things behind that brought me down

What also helped me a lot was fighting diabetes and getting rid of paradontitis. Guys, infections are a huge burden to your system and it can get you hurt a lot!

Like Jackdude I am on medication and counselling ... these days I usually shudder at the thought of where I was mentally three years ago. The meds are good, besides a temporary impact on my sex life, but then at over 50 I got laid enough in my life, so no complaints. Never felt dull, good stuff.

Counselling is great, I learned a ton of things ... always looking forward to the next appointment.

My message is, you can fight depression and you can be much better again. So if you feel depressed go and talk to someone. It sure beats the alternative.

dakaralex 5 Oct 2014 12:42

Hi Folks,

I am wondered, shocked and happy at the same time about how manny people have experiences with depressions. It's really really shit, it definitly is! But I am happy that I and we are not so alone with it, like it feels so often!

I luckily recovered tremendously sice my last post. I rode for two weeks across beautiful Italy with my motocycle and since it helped me so much, at the end of week no. 2 I told myself: "What the hell, just stay one more week and don't care at all!" and so I did. After those - just - 3 weeks I felt sooo much better that I got new plans again and first of all energy!

The biggest decicsion of course, another unlimited travell in the beginning of next year! Canada, Alaska and then south!:scooter:

In the meantime I visited an interesting conference about "digital nomads" in Berlin and how such a lifestyle is possible. Very interesting and it did touch sth. inside me. So I want to follow up on this during the next trip. It's a million times better then staying in bed with this shit!

I also signed up for the next German HU- meeting in th eend of the month, to gather some more travell-energy and meet good people for a good time!

My biggest achievement luckily is still/again the same:

Follow your heart and what feels good for you, no matter how crazy it is! And refuse stuff which doens't feel good or right!!

It really helpes!

All the best to everyone!

Alexander


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