What about the resurrection?

Just check the fluid levels, charge up the batteries and you should be ok. You may need to flush through the fuel lines, if it is diesel you may have had some sludge build up, if petrol evaporation may have left some crud around.

Bundubasher - when you first get back to your vehicle the best thing to do is bang the panels around the car, open a close the doors, bonnet and back door, slamming them shut, bang underneath with a large stick whilst all the time shouting "hey!, hey!"

Got to get rid of all the snakes, spiders, rats and mice first.

Thanks for the advice Mark :)

How do you flush the fuel lines? If you disconnect them what do you flush them throw with?

Can I drop the oil without starting the vehicle and top up with fresh? Replace brake clutch fluids I suppose?

Can I just jump in here? In reality there's a million and one things you can do, it just depends if you want to or have the facilities to do it.

I'm not sure how you can actually flush out the fuel lines properly without taking them off. Best anyway to flush them out with the same fuel you use in the car, be it petrol or diesel, but I've left vehicles many times and never bothered.
The main area of crap will be now at the bottom of your tank, do you really want to drain that? I’ve never bothered with that either. I’ve just made sure later I’ve changed/cleaned the filter(s) a couple of times in fairly short order after an initial change before trying to start it.

I tend to think of something like this in two stages, first getting it started, next getting it moving.
I always leave the battery disconnected so after a visual check to see nothing has dropped off or been stolen, I connect the battery and see if there’s any life in it (headlights). Maybe I’ll put it on charge or setup a way to jump it later.
I’ll drop the oil and leave it to drain for a while, stick my finger in through the hole and have a feel round to see what crap is in there, if any. Change oil filter.
I’ll have a look at the air filter while the oil is draining to see if a bird has decided to nest in it or whatever (or a rat).
Check ignition lines for perishing or being eaten.
Re-fill with oil making a mental note to change that again with the filter after a shorter time than the next service.

If the battery is as flat as a cow pat then I’d connect jump leads and leave alone with donor car’s engine running for 5 or ten minutes.
Try and start it – and of course it does first time. If not find out why.
I’m of the school of if it aint broke, don’t fix it. I do what I need to start it, then if it does start I’d do other things later if needed. The theory is that if it was running when I left it, then it shouldn’t need too much doing to start it again.

Then move on to part two – moving it. Is the handbrake seized on, does the clutch clear and can you get all the gears, do the brakes feel spongy, are the tyres pumped up – all that kind of stuff.

I’d normally run it around carefully for a few miles, then give it a better going over if I intended to then use it regularly and do whatever I felt was necessary (changing brake/clutch fluid, diff oils, gearbox oil and so on.)

I'm sure I've forgot something, difficult to think about it if I'm not there.

Thanks mark - the vehicle will have been standing for a year however it has been under cover - I just wanted to know what I could buy here in the UK before we fly or in SA on arrival.

So far I'll be taking diesel, a new battery (unless I pull in with another cruiser and jump leads), fuel, oil and air filters, fresh oil and, if I can afford it, a compressor.

As you say, why fix it if it ain't broke so if I can't drop the oil (the vehicle is parked in an internal hotel carpark and they may not appreciate it!) will it be OK to start the vehicle in order to get it to a place where I can work on it? Won't the engine oil be all coagulated?

Is it your Surf you're going to? Will we get hammered for going off topic?
Will the oil be coagulated? Jeez, what a question, I've no idea. I doubt the oil will be too much of a problem though but there's so many variables as to the state of it - how old is it, what was it in the first place, how long have you driven in it, how knackered was the engine beforehand, is it a mineral/synthetic oil, what viscosity(ies), what temperature and humidity has it been kept in, for how long has it been sitting there, how old was it when you bought it ........

Take the dipstick out and go by what you think, I think you're easily experienced enough after your travels, whip the filler cap off and have a look in the rocker cover, does it look and feel wrong, are there deposits you can't identify.
I'd tend to think it's quite unlikely there'll be an initial problem, but I'd change it for peace of mind as soon as you could anyway whatever it's like, like as soon as you got it “home”. Just don’t thrash it on the way there.

It’s a diesel then? Make sure you bleed it through really well if you can after you change the filter – look for water coming through from the tank as you bleed it. Sometimes you can get a lot of condensation in the tank over time. Use the pre-heat two or three times before you try and start it, either unlatch the filler cap or make sure the air bleed thingy hole is not now blocked up with dust/crap at the filler.

If you try and bleed it and no fuel comes through, one problem I once had was with a lift pump with a diaphragm that had perished over time.
One other thing I’d normally do before starting is manually try and turn the engine over with a spanner a turn or two, just to see if it has seized up or how difficult it is – I once tried to start one, very sluggish, tried new batteries, starter motor, re-did connections and so on but it’d been left for about 2 years and had rusted somewhat.

Yeh - I suppose I am worrying about nothing...I've just got to get it out of the hotel (they are charging me 50,000,000 $ an hour and even though that's nothing with Zim's current inflation, it has`been there for 12 months!) and then Harare (there's a spot of bother there).

If the engine doesn't want to turn over, even with a new battery, can you crack any seizing due to rust with a bump start down a slope?

Sorry if I sound like a complete novice but it's easy to "make a plan" with someone else's vehicle (as I have successfully done so many times) -however you get a bit more cautious when it's the only one you've got.

That solution is a bit brutal really. You may well break the rings, if it is them that are causing the problem.
In an ideal world you'd strip then engine down, but then it never is.
What did help on that one time was to take the injectors out - how handy this is to do in a hotel car park though - then squirt a bit of diesel down into the cylinders, about an egg cup full. Then with a spanner on the crank pulley tried to rock the engine back and forwards until it freed off enough for me to turn it fully over. It took time and patience.

Then I left the injectors out while I turned it over on the starter motor to eject the diesel I'd put in. If there are washers that seal the injectors make sure you have them all or try and catch them as they come flying out when they get shot across the engine and garage. Theoretically put new ones in when you replace the injectors, make sure you got the old one out or you'll end up with two on top of each other and it wont seal properly.
Otherwise, turn the old ones over if they don't look too bad or you don't have new ones.

Be aware that you might now have some diesel in your engine oil.

However, in saying all that, yours wont be seized, the oil will be fine, it'll start after three turns and you'll drive it up into the Highlands with hardly a stutter.
On the other hand, the Hotel is pulling the wool over your eyes and they actually sold the car two weeks after you left it there.

Ok - thanks for the advice - I have resolved to trust in Toyota and to go gently with any problems I find. The hotel in question is The Meikles - a big larny hotel so they may be crooked but I doubt they are downright thieves!

Many thanks for the words of encouragement though.

PS: Bought your e-book the other day although haven't printed it out/read it yet and have a question...what % does Lulu take of the sales and are you getting many sales?

It was you who bought it!! Wow!
The answer is that I haven't sold many, scores rather than hundreds/thousands, though I didn't do it to make money out of it (he says that now after such poor sales figures!).
The market is there if you also pay for a package to advertise it. It's free to put it on Lulu but the only way you'd make money is to take out one of their distribution packages.

Lulu take a fixed price per book. It is priced according to the size/complexity of the book, obviously the bigger it is and the more photos it has the more they take for the printing costs and percentage.
When you do your book you work it out on their web site in their calculator thingy.
But for example, the cost of my book is exactly the same as their costs, i.e. I make nothing on it at all, but for the download I make 2 GBP each time.
Thanks for your donation to my ice cream fund.