Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB

Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/)
-   Travellers' questions that don't fit anywhere else (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/travellers-questions-dont-fit-anywhere/)
-   -   Leaving a partner at home while away long term - How do you cope ? (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/travellers-questions-dont-fit-anywhere/leaving-partner-home-while-away-58252)

Lars 18 Jul 2011 14:26

If you feel the urge for traveling, is this really the right partner? Sometimes people just fancy a different kind life, even though they get on well together.

bugsy 18 Jul 2011 18:14

call me irresponsible but did that
girlie didn't like bike :thumbdown:
but I liked girlie
so.... did the only sensible thing- yeah, selfish it was,
left girlie, went traveling, found girlie that likes bikes and travel, dumped old girlie (who'd taken up wiv someone else when i wuz away anyways and lied about it doh)
Plenty of pebbles on beachbier
Plenty of new girlies on Yukon :funmeteryes:
'Paddle' Your life - you've only got one-
live it mate even if you are a scruffy bastard!!:rofl:

*Touring Ted* 18 Jul 2011 22:45

It certainly sounds like there are a lot of girlies out there who are very unwilling to wait to their partner if they go away...

Makes me wonder what my gf was upto when I was away also :eek3:


My "girlie" has waited for me twice now.. Six months at a time. That is already A LOT to ask from someone and I think it would be dam cheeky of me to say "thanks for waiting the last time but I'm a lone wolf now.. ta'ra love"

I'm going to drop the bomb shell on her this weekend and ask her to come with me. If she says no, then I'm going anyway...

Watch this space......................:helpsmilie:

palace15 18 Jul 2011 23:42

Ted, Just let the air out of her, roll her up and put 'her' in a pannier - sorted!

greenmanalishi 19 Jul 2011 00:37

best of luck
 
quote "I'm going to drop the bomb shell on her this weekend and ask her to come with me. If she says no, then I'm going anyway...

Watch this space......................:helpsmilie:"

Beer at my place if it all goes tits up. Best of luck cos I will be having the same problem at some point, hopefully sooner rather than later..

THEHAPPYWANDERER 19 Jul 2011 01:26

Ah the 64k question :rofl: I am in the process of planning my 4th thee/four month trip in as many years and I know that "its just part of me something I have to do is wearing a bit thin" so as a compromise what I have done the last two trips is met my G/F somewhere along the line parked the bike up and had a 2/3 week holiday togetherm after which she flies back home and I get to travel around for another 6 weeks by which time when I get back she has missed me just enoough to forget about what a selfish b****rd I am (her words) :rofl: This year have agreed to meet up in Bangkok so will park up spend 2 weeks doing the touristy things beaches shopping and such which should :thumbup1:be enough for me to get at least this year and next without too much grief and when I start to get too much grief unfortunately as much as I love her I really do NEED to travel and experience new things before I reach the point when I say I WISH I HAD DONE THAT because then its too late one life one journey.:D
So my advice is keep doing it while you can :scooter:

*Touring Ted* 19 Jul 2011 06:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by palace15 (Post 342983)
Ted, Just let the air out of her, roll her up and put 'her' in a pannier - sorted!

haha. And there's plenty of hot air to be let out, believe me! bier

Mick O'Malley 19 Jul 2011 08:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Touring Ted*
I'm going to drop the bomb shell on her this weekend and ask her to come with me. If she says no, then I'm going anyway...

Watch this space......................



Or, I could invite her to be my friend on FB with a link to this thread. Then she could see what a concerned 'new man' you are.

Regards Mick

*Touring Ted* 19 Jul 2011 19:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mick O'Malley (Post 343018)


Or, I could invite her to be my friend on FB with a link to this thread. Then she could see what a concerned 'new man' you are.

Regards Mick

Knowing you Mick, you'd be inviting her to be your friend while i'm away and then wine her and dine her with all your charms.....

;)

Schwrtz27 19 Jul 2011 20:54

Hmm...That's a tough situation and I've had only one long distance relationship that didn't last 6 months.

Let me preface my statements by saying that I am only 24 years of age, and I feel that because I've learned so much in the past 10 years about relationships and how to deal with people, I feel that I will learn 1000 times that in the next 30 years of my life -- basically, I feel that all of you are more qualified to answer this than I.

But what I do know and have figured out early on in life via traveling the world, is that I will always do that I love to do -- travel. Whether by motorcycle, boat, hitchhiking, backpacking etc...It is probably the largest part of who I am. Anything else, I will compromise on, but traveling I cannot not for the most part. Perhaps travel will become a lesser part of my life as children and family enters my life, but I'll never lose that desire.

If I find a woman that doesn't like to travel, we simply wouldn't be right for each other. There are over 3 billion women in the world, and I know that at least 1% of them would love to travel and go on long bike rides to experience the world. People have that innate curiosity, or they don't.

If she gets mad at you for traveling and doesn't want to go with you, she doesn't understand who you are or the value of everything you go through when you backpack alone or bike alone.

I've found, especially after traveling to 3rd would countries and beyond, that I just can't explain the lessons learned or experiences I've had to another person who hasn't done it....and surely to a person who doesn't have the interest to do it.

Anyhow, I'm not sure of your age and perhaps that matters. That's my two cents from a mid twenties adventurer.

Let me know what you think....

bugsy 19 Jul 2011 21:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schwrtz27 (Post 343080)
I am only 24 years of age, and I feel that because I've learned so muchin the past 10 years about relationships and how to deal with people,
Let me know what you think....

doh from the sweet age of 12.... Schwrtz27 you gotta be kiddin mate !:rofl:


Ted mate - go canoe - and live
The key is enjoy life now (you could drown tomorrow!)
Like those 'anyone want to meet for a beer? posts.... the truth is that they are lonely AND many are already traveling in pairs.... but wont say they are .....says it all mate...
Go do your stuff:thumbup1:

geordie_e 20 Jul 2011 16:40

Hi

Having spent most of my life in the forces I feel I have a need to travel.. plain and simple.

So when I left the Army and took up motorcycle travelling then I met the girl of my dreams :thumbup1:

But try as hard as I could I could not get her into bikes or my way of thinking about travelling.

So I lost my job a couple of years ago and with my army pension now had the time to go travelling, she was fully supportive and I started to plan my RTW trip.

Then a few months ago we broke up after 6 years together... I was devistated and threw myself into bikes and travel, now it turns out that she felt she was just "a base"... I never wanted her to feel like that.

So Im off next year, yes I miss her, Yes I still speak to her and in my hopes of hopes it would be lovely if we get back together after I have done all my travels.....
If we dont then, I dont feel selfish about letting her go, at the end of the day we both have our individual lifes to live :mchappy:

But its a tough call.. but its one YOU have to make !

Cheers
Geordie aka Will

estebangc 20 Jul 2011 21:41

I had to find a COMPROMISE: one year off, but not Africa, nor by bike. So, towards Asia by car. But together.

Have you tried some sort of compromise, something not so demanding for her (aka kayak the Yukon) to try to involve her? The more she tries, the more she may love such things. It is being happening like that in our case. You may "lose" some things, but will gain others: sharing the experience with her. And if she waited for you twice, she will probably let you go further once she understands first hand your motivation.

Everyone has an opinion, but it is really hard to give an advice (I just read the post I wrote and, how can one get so boring when talking about feelings??? Complicated issue, so deleted!!)

Good luck with anything you end up doing, but I would say "reach a compromise for both and try to involve her".

Esteban

Lonesome George 21 Jul 2011 11:20

I was really lucky, both with my wife and my tri!p She wasn't worried about me going but we did plan it all so she could come out to "do the bits" she wants. So although I was away for 6 months initially she came out twice making it so much better.

As others have said, email, skype etc make the world a very small place. But at the end of the day it has to be an agreement/compromise.

Just as an aside, we're all talking about men going traveling and "wives" staying at home. I'd LOVE to here from some male partners of female solo travellers and what they think and how they cope with it

Redboots 21 Jul 2011 21:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Touring Ted* (Post 342976)
I'm going to drop the bomb shell on her this weekend and ask her to come with me. If she says no, then I'm going anyway...

Top man!

My Missus likes it when I go away but I have to arrange a meet mid trip if its a long-un.

and....



John


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:42.


vB.Sponsors