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Am I going insane? “the wanderlust partner of the opposite sex” PART 2
Oh the wanderlust partner…
The long sob story (hopefully made short)… Been wanting to RTW for a while. Went to a HU meeting. Got home, told parents I was RTW, sooner than we all thought (Happy Fathers Day Dad) Told the lady friend (is girl friend a better label? We live together, etc.) I was RTWing. Here is where things got interesting. On the way home from the HU meeting I was dreading telling her and leaving her (tears under the helmet). We talked and talked, etc. Well, she is up for a RTW trip. She is willing to sell HER house, her car, her EVERYTHING. Leave her friends and family for this trip. She is unreal in every category and she complements me in so many ways. Could I ask for a better life partner, NO, hands down. WE began planning for OUR RTW trip but lately doubt has set in. (Here is where my ego, my selfishness, my MAN-ly a$$hole attributes comes in.) I would love to have her in any life in any form I am fortunate enough to be blessed with. BUT, I feel I want to RTW solo. Why I don’t really know, I have just always dreamed of RTW soloing, not with a wanderlust partner. We have talked about this and there is no doubt that she can handle her own. (Wheelie if you are reading this I made her read your post in “PART 1”, she is ok for everything except brain worms she says) So here it is: AM I GOING F*$&ING INSANE for even thinking of riding off into the sunset for years on end solo, when I have the most amazing woman I have ever meet in my life, who is willing to drop everything for this trip? Take care WIESE PS: No, for who ever is about to ask you cannot have her. LOL |
dont be crazy
sorry this is my only response. Take her with you, enjoy the experiences together. She does not sound like the sort of girl that you would want to loose.
Hope u make the right decision Ride safe Paul |
Weise,
2 solutions: Get her pregnant so she wants to stay at home;-)) Or Do it twice. Once with and once without. You have time enough don't you? Cheers, John |
Some compromises are worth making old chap. And well, it's not really much of a compromise is it?
Matt |
Are you some kind of a fool. Any woman that is willing to go on a RTW trip is a real prize. Most of us would kill to meet such a woman. Take her with, more then likely she will become disenchanted with the trip and want to return home, maybe before or after you do. This is not uncommon. Take the chance, you will have the trip of your life and learn more then most couple know about each other in a life time. I am very jealous!
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Don´t ask
Just do what your heart tells you.
If you take her with you, maybe you will break apart soon, if you leave her maybe this could be your own selfproof that you deeply love her after you come back. Or, you could even lose a precious partner forever. If she is still there when you´re back, she´s the one, boy! If she is not, then nothing was lost. It is just the infinite world of possibilities opening in front of you, congratulations. Anyway, just do it! Check the voice of the heart, not the brain. If you think you can or if you think you can´t, you will allways be right. (H. Ford) You are not going crazy, you are just starting tu build a life upon your own choices. :clap: Good luck in your decision Humberto |
I must admit, doing a solo RTW is what i imagine doing. I don't want to do it with anyone in tow.
If i took a woman, i guess the caring man in me would be concerned about her all the time. Is she to hot/cold/comfortable/uncomfortable/not feeling well etc. I was the oldest child in my family, i came from a poor immigrant cypriot family so it was expected from me to care for both sibling and cousins (seven cousins), i was changing and cleaning kids nappies(the old terry towel ones) from the age of nine years old, burping them, warming milk,bathing giving them medication to them when they were ill and sacraficing my school holidays and socila time with my friends to babysit. Consequently i became a loner through my surrounding, by not being able to mix with my peers. All my life i have been altruistic. It just felt natural to me. I did a lot for my ex wife including full financial support whilst she studied at university. She graduated got a career and run off with a friend of mine. Thirteen years of my prime years wasted on somebody else. Thats all changed now, i'm forty six and i will do as i damn well please, i am financially comfortable through years of hard work, and i do what i want to do when i want to do it. All i have left to care about from my old life are my cats, i i have had them since they were kittens, there nineteen and twenty one years old and in good health at the moment. Once they have passed away i shall be gearing myself up for a solo RTW around about 2012. I want to ride without responsibilty to anyone or anything else but myself Having said all that it does sound like a fine woman you have there. But the decision is yours. What ever you decide you must take responsibilty for your actions and have no regets for whatever you decide. I missed my wife terribly for the first few years apart and now coming up to five years later there are time when i feel low, i still do . I often wonder what she is doing now. How will you cope when your on the lonely road feeling homesick and missing your ex ? I did a solo six thousand mile tour on my own after the divorce, riding the northern europe russia baltic states, its a lonely road out there mate and it can make you or break you, i don' think there is a middle ground. For me it made me, but it was tough. Have you thought about a compromise. Like she rides the first leg with you through europe, and then flys home. Then maybe you can ride solo for three/six/nine months. Find somewhere nice and she can fly out to meet you, so you can have a little R&R together for a month or so, and ride and explore the surroundings of where your staying. I am a cynical old fart now, when it comes to love, i can't even be bothered to have a relationship. But from reading your post and what you have written about her my gut instinct is to hang on to her one way or another. I wish i had now or in the past, a partner that would make the same sacrafice and commitment for me, that your partner is willing to do for you. It is increasingly difficult in these modern times to find a decent person to share your life with, i am sure others would agree with me here, male and female alike. You must be able to strike a middle ground with your partner somewhere. A broken heart is the greatest pain i have ever had to bare, and it does affect your future relationships, your heart will heal but there always be a scar. Good luck mate Maverick Bubble |
Take her, more comfortable than a Thermarest!!
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Not insane...
Hmmm, interesting. I understand the issue. Solo traveling is rewarding. In many ways. Can be addicting. Everyday things happen that wouldn't happen if you where traveling in company. Things you can do, just because they don't need to discussed (Do I hear the wistle of that police man? nah, didn't hear anything. Or distract that soldier at the checkpoint for a second and ride off...)
Sharing a travel history with your partner is rewarding too, can fuel a relationship for many years... . And being home and having a partner who wend trough the same things you wand trough might be easier then getting home and finding nothing really changed. anyway, it'll do something |
Doing a RTW trip is always going to be a huge endeavour and, if it were me, I'd be both excited and nervous. I wonder, having read your email, how much of your concern about taking your other half along is nervousness about doing the trip. Just a thought?!!
I've done a lot of solo travelling and its good in some ways but when things are going badly or going great (particularly the latter) it sucks! There's nothing quite like having someone to share the experience with. |
Being a cynical old fart and reading between the lines I suspect that you really want to be on your own ,secondly your girlfriend realises this and desperately wants to hang on to you .
It would be better to reolve this before you begin your journey ,either together or alone . But I could be [and often am] wrong , Best of luck and bon voyage . Dodger |
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Wise, Wise! :thumbup1: |
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Does she want all your free time? Is your privacy less than it was before? Do you sometimes feel a bit smothered? |
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Like I said she is perfect. I truely am going insane and affraid this is leading me to the answers. Quote:
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I had the same problem before I left on a two year RTW ride. First she wanted to come, then she didn't. Then I had to decide if I should leave this great woman and go alone, knowing she might not be there when I got back. Well, I went and she had a lot of vacation time and frequet flyer miles saved up from work, so she came out to all the really nice spots to visit. It was tough, but she didn't leave (though she was practically packing by the time I got back).
We are getting married November 11th in Guatemala. |
As somebody else said, you do not want lose a woman like that. I have spent 10 unsuccessful years trying to get my wife on a bike, the trips would have been so much more fun. I am a lone biker usually, I don't ride with others but on a long trip I wish she would come.:(
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Congrats! |
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My wife had never been on a motorcycle before meeting me, now we have 28 years together and about 200,000 miles. Although she trained for her own license, she prefers to ride pillion. I can't imagine not having her along. Being able to say "Hey, look at the ...... to the right!" more than doubles the pleasure in seeing it. One cannot tell someone else about it days, weeks, months later and give them the true feeling of it. Even a picture will not bring the total flavor of the event, the winds, the smells, tiredness, excitement, strangeness or familiarity will not come through. And then there is the time at the end of the day when one does try to tell the other about something the other missed. These discussions add to the enjoyment because even if one didn't see it they still have the flavor of the time to add to the description. Sharing the ride more than doubles the enjoyment. Then there is the advantage of a second pair of eyes looking out for your safety. She sees things that I have missed, animals, traffic, signs, police... as well as being the navigator while I do the piloting. At a strange intersection in a strange town in a strange country with a strange language, it is very helpful to have her looking too, the GPS can only tell me so much. On the job I have travelled without her. Travelling with her is much more fun. :thumbup1: MUCH MUCH MORE!!!:thumbup1: Bob & Kathy www.bobkatsjaunt.com |
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Those moments when it's experienced, sparking the mind and emotions, under those unique conditions.... |
oh dear
Is that your best friend knocking on your back door....?A good one like this only comes around once in a lifetime.....choose wisely my friend!
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I started the first thread, and haven't found anyone yet. Still have the same girl saying she wants to go who I started planning the trip with 6 years ago, but she isn't doing anything towards it. Still have a different ex-gf that wants to go, but I'd rather go alone than with her, even though she is really nice. I posted an ad to craigslist and met a nifty girl (attractive, smart, rides, reliant, slaughters her own cows, has the same "better the experience then living for money" take I have on life), but last night, she sent me an email saying she's hooked up with another girl. Better finding out now, then getting dumped in India for a Hindu lesbian. As Rachel said, "There's nothing quite like having someone to share the experience with." Now where is that someone hiding.... --Dave |
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peanut gallery here. What a great group of friends to have around, no? !! Most say take her along. Someone said take her along and figure she will want to bail out at some point. Having seen this so many times in my own travels, I'd say its a good possibilty. You may change your mind as well. Not everyone is cut out for the hard scrabble life of 3rd world travel, living off a motorcycle for years at a time, always being a stranger, everywhere you go. But perhaps those moments of enlightenment Ted Simon talks about in Jupiter's Travels will come your way........You've read it, right? The ultimate reason to go solo. I also like petefromberkeley's idea of flying her in from time to time. On your trip you will come upon, almost by magic, certain Garden of Eden type places where you figure you could spend the rest of your life. When you get there, get on the horn and have her fly in. If you start off together I'd advise NOT selling her house. A car is one thing, but keep the house. Rent it out. It will provide travel income. If she has to re-buy, the property taxes will kill her. Keep it. Cars and all the other crap can be sold off or put up in storage. You are very lucky to even be in the position to be able to travel RTW. I hope you appreciate this. Best of luck....whatever choice the two of you make! Patrick Some various "Garden's of Eden" http://patricksphotos.smugmug.com/photos/47665908-M.jpg http://patricksphotos.smugmug.com/photos/47666004-M.jpg http://patricksphotos.smugmug.com/photos/967055-M.jpg |
Ahhhh........ the meaning of life! Well, almost. Not surprising that this post has generated such diverse replies. Alone or with a partner? I think Chris Scott said it best in the AMH: "Most people will instinctively know whether they want to travel alone or not".
I've been a lurker for far too long on the HU site, trying to think if there was anything valuable I could add to the immense experiences some of you have had - I still don't think I can say anything you haven't already heard. But now it's time to throw my 2 cents worth into the pot. This topic is eerily close to my own heart right now. I live in Canada and have been planning a trip to Ushuaia for nearly 3 years. Originally it was going to be a group ride of about 3 months long, shipping the bikes home from BA, but as time went on the trip got bigger for me and now looks like it may be a year or more. I always dreamt of meeting a girl who enjoyed riding, camping and travelling as much as I do, and would be in a position in her life that allowed her to join me. I am the type of person who instinctively knows I want to ride with a partner. Preferrably a signifigant other, but someone to relive those experiences with for many years to come. Unfortunately, I wasn't having any luck meeting anyone like that, even my riding buddies didn't do trips like that. Besides, how would I know what a trip this big was like if I didn't give it a try. Other people have done it alone and really enjoyed it, and I've done several week or two trips alone that I enjoyed, so I decided to go - no matter what. Then one day out of the blue in April 2005 I met a woman I had known 10 years earlier. I always thought she was a real catch back then, but our lives were headed down different paths, and it never even really got started. She got married and I entered into a long-term relationship, both of which ended. When I met her again this time, we were in different places in our lives and everything just clicked. And guess what? She loved riding pillion on my bike! I couldn't have asked for a better person in my life, but I immediately told her about my trip plans and that I wasn't prepared to change them. She was of course welcome to join me, but she didn't have any experience on a bike. We decided that a 10 day trip to the HU meeting in BC in September would be the decision point. Almost the entire trip was cold and rainy, but I thought perhaps it was for the best so that she had a truer understanding of what bikers can go through (it's not always sunny is it?). She didn't complain, and thought long and hard about it for two weeks afterward (while I secretly prayed she would say yes). Guess what? She did! Wow what a girl! I was so very impressed by her trust in me and willingness to try something new in her life. I was the happiest person you could find. But that was last year. With the trip getting closer and things starting to happen, she started doing less and less and I could see the drive diminishing. We talked to another couple who are riding two-up in SA right now (thanks to HU) so that she could get another woman's perspective on things once on the road, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't hard to see that her fears of the unknow were getting the best of her, and I am helpless to change them. Now you can see why this post struck a chord in my heart. I am envious of all of you that have a partner who desires to be with you so much - no matter what you do. You are truly blessed. But I cannot change this now, and I must stay true to myself and continue this trip. Any riders care to share the road? I leave September 25th. Daren |
At this point I would consider giving her the bike.
Maybe you should stay home and get your shit together. She's ready, are you? Bill |
even to have such a dilemna is a privilege ... :)
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3 options
IMHO you have three options:
1. Go alone 2. Go with somebody else (a mate or a girl friend) 3. Go with your 'significant other' Option 1: YOU have decided to take the trip, YOU do it. You can do everything you want without having to worry about anybody else. Ultimate freedom. You´ll change during the trip, she´ll change during your absence, so if she still is in the picture when (and if) you come back, then is a good time to figure out if you guys should be together. Option 2: You go with a friend an will be able to a). share experiences on the road and b). do all the stuff that you wouldn´t be able to do if you are with a 'significant other'. A friend is a friend, and if you get unfriendly along the way, there is always the posibility to split up and each go your own way. Don´t take point b to lightly as this can be a major part of the experience, especially if it is your first big trip. Once again we are talking about freedom to do what YOU want to do during the trip. Option 3: Go with your significant other. If you worry about things you will 'miss' along the way and experiences that you would have had IF you were travelling alone or with a mate this, is not the right option for you. It all boils down to perceived freedom. Do you think your partner is going to hold you back? Do you have any doubt about taking the trip with her at all? Then DON´T!! Don´t get me wrong, I am not saying that travelling with your life partner is a bad idea, far from it, me and my wife are planning our next trip together right at this moment. Just know Option 1, 2 and 3 are all good, but in the end each one will give you a very different experience. The big question is now: What do YOU want to get out of this trip. Just enjoy the trip and sharing it with the one you love sounds like a pretty good deal to me. Just remember: you can´t always have your cake and eat it too, mate! |
I have only just stumbled across this thread, and I find it very moving. I agree 100% with what Maverick Bubble has to say. I am now 44 and last year travelled 30,000 kms from Argentina to Guatemala where I undertook 5 months of volunteer work in a clinic and orphanage. My motivation, or should I say catalyst, was the breakdown of my relationship after 7 and a half years with the person I still consider to be my soulmate, and drastic steps were needed. I was failing to live. My journey changed me forever, I think for the better, but the process wasn't easy, God! there were some lonely, difficult times out there. But it needs to be that way, and being alone, you really are open to a much more intense experience. Now, I just can't take relationships seriously. I am stronger but it still gets lonely; quite often in fact! At the same time it's very liberating, and after a year back in the UK, I'm leaving it all to try living in South America, but if I can't make it work, I'll just stay on the road. On the other hand, a loving, stable relationship in this age is a wonderful gift, and you sound privileged to have her. I'm not sure I would ride away from her, but perhaps what you really crave is freedom. Sure as eggs is eggs, whichever decision you make, I don't think it's going to be particularly easy for you.
The very best of luck, and let us know what happens! |
I have done most of my travelling alone, and although it´s generally more "adventurous" (the adventures generally occur when you meet people after being starved of social contact for so long), 6 months of travelling solo in countries where you don´t habla la lingua can be tough. I have also met girls along the way who travelled with me for a while and they were great times. It´s good to have someone else to bounce ideas off and to see the same things that you see. Travelling solo still has a certain romantic appeal (a man and his machine in a struggle against adversity and all that) but there is room i think for a member of the fairer sex, at least part of the time.
As previously suggested, the best thing would be to fly the missus out to travel with you some of the way, then continue on alone. Sean |
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The truth is nobody can really answer this question and probably there is no right answer. My guess, and this is only a guess, is that you'd rather go it alone but dread the conversation where you tell her that's what you've decided and the hurt it would cause. You're certainly not the first man to have to face that. Either way, what's the worst that could happen? You get a once-in-a-lifetime trip or a once-in-two-lifetimes trip. Nice problem to have :) steve |
Harsh is putting someone you care about thruough a bunch of bullshit.
Make a decision and get on with it. The only way to travel RTW is to get on the bike and ride it. Bill. |
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I love the 3 answers you gave as options, but #1 is a huge bucket of wisdom! :thumbup1: |
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Also, is it possible that the reason you want to travel on your own is because you feel you would be achieving something greater by doing it solo? Do you know the WHY of your RTW trip? How would your gf going change that? Also another good question I think is: Does she really want to go RTW or does she just not want to loose you? Because if its the latter, then I think you'd be right to be concerned about her going... -Neil |
girl opinion!
If I were your g/f and you tell me, after spending probably a very long time planning the trip etc.. that you are going without me, I would:
1- dump you 2- smash you bike 3- get my own bike 4- rent my house 5- leave for a RTW trip! Solo! Who need a man?! In another words I would take it v. badly! Maria |
Girls who want to do it are difficult to find????
What's all that fuzzing about girls who want to travel are difficult to find? Looking to my history, at least 2 out of 3 girls I've dated with would travel to where ever. And looking around me, there's a considerable portion of female friends that are exploring the globe for extended periods. I don't think that's an argument.
Thing is that none of us can read the future, and none of us knows the complete context. So none of us can give a decent advise, except then 'make up your own mind'. There will be examples of men leavig a great girl and depart on a great adventure, and live an amazing life, there will be examples of men leaving a great girl and living a miserable life. And the same will be true for men not leaving there girl, some living an amazing life, for others it will be boring. So if you make up your mind, let us know, and, if it'll cause grief, try to keep the damage limited (which might cause more grief at your side). And further, try to be satisfied with your life when you die. ;-) |
Robbert,
You've got to be kidding. I've met about three in my entire life who weren't already taken. Matt |
Go on the RTW. I planned for years and finally (skin cancer etc. postponed the trip) 5 years later I am out of here. Go. With or without her, but go.
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If the girl is so perfect then my vote is... take her with you.
Part of being a pair is that you have to make adjustments to your goals and dreams in order to stay together. Obviously people shouldn't force each other to give up their dreams, but some adjustments are required. She has adjusted hers by offering to go with you. The adjustment you need to make is a lot smaller than the one she has already made. You'll have a great adventure either way. Go with the flow. Why force it? The flow right now is, you gotta girl who wants to go RTW with you. Role with it. Enjoy the experience you are having instead of wishing for a different one. If you go with her, what are you going to loose anyway, some lonesome traveler ideology? What might you loose if you decide to go alone... the perfect girl! If you are having so much trouble deciding this, then that indecisiveness is probably not going to go away. So the obvious thing to do once again is take her with you and just see how it works out. You might find that it's great travelling together, or you might find that she doesn't seem so perfect as a travelling companion. |
Don't pass on never again opportunities
Worst come to worst, your two person solo goes wrong. So waht, you can always plan another solo RTW trip. Meeting that type of girl.... hmmm... chances are its a once in a life time opportunity. Pass on this one and live remorse. Do it and fail, you only get regret. Other scenario... the trip of a lifetime that will have you build something new on a daily basis. Isn't the goal of the RTW to live life fully, adjust to the world's surroundings. In other words, shouldn't you be flexible and ready for anything to start off with?
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Go..Go..Go..!!
My suggestion... Take her with you. You will either have a great time together and get to know each other better than you would in the "Normal" day to day grind of what we non travellers (soon to be out of this group... RTW starting 01-01-2009) call life. OR.... you will get to know each other and decide to go your own ways... Not giving it the chance, I think could be your biggest mistake.
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So why do I keep meeting the 'wrong' men who just want a beach holiday???
I go solo or team up with a married Italian friend - his wife doesn't have a problem with it which amazes me (we are purely travel partners!!!) Kira |
Go for it
Yes go on do the RTW solo...but you will end up doing the rest of your life solo. What is the point in doing it by yourself??? I would want someone to share the experience with.....Dont be a PLONKEr as DEl would say...
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No problem
I was reading your post and I think that the problem is very easy to solve. If she didn't want to come with you you will need to make a choice but now the thrue is do you want to be with her or not , I travel arround the world on motorcycle alone most of the time but if my wife say she wants to come and the trip is possible 2 up I am always happy to have her with me, your dilemma is either you don't really love your partner and can't be honest with yourself and with her or you are looking for some dramma in your life. On the road the adventure will be there anyway , by yourself or with someone , sharing your dream with someone you love is really a gift .
Only my opinion. Hendi |
great advice.........
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You are not going crazy, you are just starting tu |
Making Memories
okay. this thread has more activity than most any other. Why? Think about it.
I´ve been 11 mos. and 60,000km on the road alone. I can´t tell you how many times I´ve had an experience, gazed at a vista or tasted life so exquisite and enrichening that I´ve had to say, damn... I really wish I was sharing this with my babe... I´ve got a notebook full of places that I´ve promised to try to return with her with bike or sans bike. If she came with me I´d be saving a lot of time, money and energy with these notes and the future trips I´m going to have to take with her! Traveling alone is incredible. But traveling with a partner and not just a buddy who wants to talk about the benefits of full injection or Scott Oilers is precious. You´ve got the option... and the choice. Do it... as my friend Roger once said, give any one man too much rope and he´ll **** it up... don´t mess with this one my friend. enjoy life and make the memories and share the experience... smiles, allan |
yes you are a f*****g idiot.
the answer to your question. sounds like a terific woman.you don't deserve her.:cool4: |
I have a solution, give me her address and I'll keep her company 'til you get back.
I left my girl of 10 years behind to do the Pan Am, only 8-10 months and she said she'd wait... 5 months later and she's found someone else. If I could have had her on the back of the bike, I would have... even with the extra weight! |
If she REALLY is THE right one for you...take her.
You'll regret losing her . |
right on............
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Motives!
I have not read this entire thread but it seems to me that most of the post are "self" centered rather that partner centered. Most everyone that has posted is actively looking or would like a traveling/life partner, but to meet their own needs.
My question is this: is getting your own needs met as a primary motivator a recipe for a future failed relationship. It seems to me that the focus in the a great relationships that I have seen is mutual one-anothering. |
Go together!
Wiese, what is wrong with you ?
You have a wonderfull girl, she wants to come with you and then you don't want it ???? I have a wonderfull wife but she has absolutely no interest in long distance biketrips so I go alone on all my trips. I would give my left leg (mmmm.... would have to buy a trike then....) to have her with me on my trips. Traveling alone has its advantages but when you are standing on the most beautifull place in the world, you realy want to share it with someone. And from the lady's point of view, I agree with Maria. You just can't do that to someone you love and who loves you. Stop being so foolish and go enjoy your RTW together. |
An update from Wiese?
I've held my tongue for way too long on this one!!
Wiese, any update on your situation after so many people have kindly shared their requested views? Cake and eat it too... Having been on the receiving end of this particular mind set, I wish that I was a meaner person. I would have enacted all of Maria's points with great gusto! (you're the best Maria!) If you need affirmations from a group of international strangers about what you should do when it comes to someone you are supposed to care about, well, enough said. The answer is already starring you in the face. Don't take her. She is prepared to give up everything and commit to you and something that is/was initially a love of yours and you aren't sure you can personally invest a smidgen of what she is. It won't work. The big question will become smaller questions that recur every day in your mind. If you can't make the decision when the going is easy, it will be a really rubbish situation when the going gets tough. I agree with what has been said, it's the essential difference in mind set between someone that is prepared to view things from a couple perspective, versus someone who puts themselves first but doesn't mind the benefits (when they are benefits) of having a partner. Second is not a good place to continually be placed, especially during something as life changing an adventure as a motorcycle trip can be. |
Lonely Streets
I remember walking around Avignon the first year I lost my wife. Worst thing was not having anyone along to enthuse and discuss what I'd seen. Now I'm doing an AWT (RWT in the American language) solo. (Hoping to share company for some miles along the route.) No way would I be doing this if she were still here, but you...you can have your cake and eat it buddy. I know that part of your trip is probably 'to find yourself' but taking responsibility for someone else is also an important part of lifes journey. In the end only you are the winner or looser, so ignore what we are all saying and go with your heart. (Heads tend to get filled with crap)
Perhaps a mini-trip for a week or so together would polerise your thoughts? After all what's a week in your lifes timetable? Anyway my best wishes that you make a descision that turns out to be a good one. |
I haven't read the whole thing either, about half.... my thoughts are that it's possible to spend TOO much time with someone, you know. Sometimes a time apart is great. I left an awesome girl behind, with the knowlege that I'll never have her back, let alone see her again for a good many years. And I'm okay with that. This adventure is more important to me.
But that said, I'm 22, never had a serious relationship and (at the moment) never intend to. So there's my bias. Good luck |
One or two
I am doing my trip in the summer of 2008 (and this time I am not going to delay it). I am debating whether I should try and find someone else to go along so it is interesting to read various perspectives on the prospect of one or two.
I must say that if I had a compatible partner who was willing to do a trip like this it would be a no brainer for me. I just don't want to end up traveling with someone that I don't get along with as I would be much too polite to say so and just put up with it which would spoil the trip. If you are going at the same time your gf is welcome to travel with me ;) |
I'm not planning a rtw but for years i yearned to travel in europe.
i felt there was so much to see, places i had to see, and i'd dreamt it for so long (marriage,house,kids meant i couldnt do it earlier) that i had developed an idea that i had to go it alone as it had becom an almost spritual,emotional thing. something that in my mind would signal that i had entered the next phase of my life,free from the ties that had bound me for so long (dont get me wrong, i'm very happily marrid and love my kids to bits but money has always been tight). My family were very understanding, i think the wife put it down to mid life crisis or male menapause. Any way long story short, i get to travel alone to some of the places i'd dreamt of. nowhere dramatic but we all have a different road we want to travell. Thing was, after a couple of solo trips i realised something was missing so on the next trip i took the wife and thats when it all fell into place. I'd had this passion for so long i'd forgotten about all the times over the years she'd sat and listened to me telling her about the places i wanted to see and what i wanted to do when i got there that she had become part of the adventure without me even realising it. its a great thing to be able to share your deepest pleasures in life with the person you love most. have you thought about starting solo and arranging to meet upwith your other half part way round and continuing together, or start together and at an agreed destination you carry on and your partner returns home to hold the fort until you return. |
Take me to the chicka bar
Hmmmm,
Time to pound a stake in the heart of this thread. Lonely. Need companionship. In any second, third world country not overwrought with Victorian morals you could...hop in a taxi and go to the chicka bar(in Latino countries). It is a fact that hookers in Brazil were charging $10usd and will marry you. Cuzco was loaded with escorts. Euro women easily found companionship 10 years younger. Most of the guys I rode with had women of the country traveling on their machines at some point. Man, it's just not an issue among real travelers. Everything changes on the road and... "On the road there are no special cases." I always thought that it was a good idea to keep in mind that in many places I was the richest guy in the room. Bill. |
The downside is....'have you *any* idea how much gear a girlie considers 'essential' for a bike trip ????'
SWMBO packed SIX pairs of shoes, a hairdyer, a travel iron, and tried to stuff her entire wardrobe in the panniers. Suggest to her that all she needs are a few spare pairs of knickers and a credit card - if she's still willing then go for it. |
Bill Shockly said [QUOTE][I always thought that it was a good idea to keep in mind that in many places I was the richest guy in the room/QUOTE]
One article I read said if you have $2200 you are in the top 50% richest in the world, $60,000 top 10% and only $500,000 put you in the top 1%. As far as this discusion on the trip, just get going, she can come visit you on different part if see wants, if you need her for the cash, then I guess she goes with you all the way. |
Whats the problem?
She goes, she stays, you go alone or take her along with you.
Right now YOU like her, she LIKES you and she WANTS to come. As all the other Aunties have advised, things will certainly change, you and her especially. The hard decision may come in some s#%t hole in Mexico or never. I dropped the bomb with my wife of 19 years that I wanted to "do" a trip to SE Asia in 2010. Her bomb was bigger when she wanted to come!!! It will make us..............20 years and 3 kids............we can start to get to know each other. You never know.................she may be the one!!!!! The decisions not hard to live with its the concequences Choose wisely |
Further along in similar circumstances
Take her with you!!!!
I am almost to Ushuaia from Miami. My woman and I, before I left, were talking about her coming with me. I had the same misgivings that you are having now. My dream had always been solo. Not that I didn´t want her to be there it just wasn´t what I had envisioned. So I went alone. I`m having a blasts. Peaks and valleys for sure. But after a few thousand miles I started to think about what it would be like if she was here. We met in Lima and rode to Cusco for a 10 day break that she had. It was so much MORE fun to have someone there with you to laugh with. She will join me agian for a month or so in April. My advice would be to take her and remain flexible. In reality she can come and go as she pleases. It sounds like you don`t want to be without her anyway. Good luck man and try not to stress it all works it self out once you are on teh road. |
This is dangerous territory!!
There's no point asking for advice on a matter like this coz you're gonna do whatever it is you want to do anyway!! And whatever it is........good luck!
Chris :chris: |
So, what ever happened to Weise??? Looks like he dropped off the map almost a year ago. This was also the guy who wrote:
"My RTW trip will be well off the beaten path as much as possible and as little paved roads as possible (less than 5%)." I wonder, cynic that I am, if he used this conflict with the woman and as an excuse not to go at all??? Of course, if he is RTW on dirt roads, he's probably nowhere near an internet cafe. Oh, bad me.... If you're around, tell us what happened!!!! And now I skim through the previous posts, what's happened to Dave Smith???? And Stagbeetle???? Lorraine |
God Lorraine.
Don`t you know that the only thing worse than a Brazilian soap opera is an internet soap opera with no finale?! I just read this whole thing and, well, nothing... I agree with the abrupt fellow a few pages back. Too much handwringing, I hope he made some decision, better the wrong one than none. |
Stagbeetle lives, just
Quote:
http://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hub...-meeting-24313 |
She will not be there
You go by yourself.
BUT she will not be available when you get back. If she she still wants to RTW I will take her... Any more volunteers to take her??????????????????????? |
Don't pass this one up. You love her and she's willing to drop all for you. Being a couple (married) means it's no longer just all about you. Compromise is the name of the game. 31 years ago I talked my girlfriend into a Mexico & Central America trip. We sold everything and lived on nothing until even the nothing ran out. On that trip I was able to get to know the real her, something travelling will always do. Today we woke up together, had breakfast together and hiked together. I love her even more than I did then, if that is possible. We celebrate our 31st anniversary next week.
|
Quote:
I've had a couple friends say they want to go, but then back out. Even took a girl I've known over 10 years to the meet in Colorado this year. She makes her way round the world on foot and bicycle and doesn't see the point in taking a motorcycle because fuel is an extra cost. Embarrassing ads I put on internet dating sites have gone nowhere (although I've met some neat girls), so I reckon I'll be traveling alone. Oh well, thems the breaks. --Dave |
Where are these girls you speak of? I dont see any around me....
but then i am indian and obviously of the wrong color... Quote:
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Guys!
I am absolutely AMAZED by the answers given by all the blokes on here! Almost to the man, you all came up with the sweetest, most sensitive responses :bored: -- and there I was thinking you're all a bunch of tough, road-rough, gladiator-esque, nomad-vagabonds! Nice to know you miss us women-folk every now and again, when a soppy moment presents itself! ___________________________ PS Since the :censored: (bloke) who started this thread has seemingly lost interest in the forum, there is no satisfaction (or point) whatsoever for me to respond and say how pathetic it think it is, for him to try and cover up his selfish insecurities, by sugarcoating it in words such as 'she is PERFECT' etc. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with choosing the 'selfish' option, if you believe its right for you. In fact, that would be the mature, sensible thing to do. But - for :censored: sake!!! be a MAN about it and stop making excuses!! Ofcourse - since he is gone, I would be wasting my time saying all this - so I won't. |
Silent majority
Quote:
Impasto, :rolleyes2:, I feel sure that those who replied are just a very small and unrepresentative sample of the silent majority on this website! |
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