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Fear!
Hey everyone, I know this is the same as hundreds of threads i have seen on the HUBB before but thought I should sink my teeth in and finally make my first thread and get some advice while showing face on here for the first time.
Basically I have August off work and im going to be off to see Europe for the first time on my own. My question is is it normal to be a bit apprehensive about setting off on my own for the first trip? Anything I can do to settle my nerves? Cheers and sorry for wasting time! Martin |
Dont worry martin, they only have one head and they eat and drink the same as we do in england.:eek3:
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Phew!! I knew i was worrying about nothing.
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Seriously, what is it your afraid of ?
I can't think of a better place to voice your travel fears. If it's encouragement you're looking for....well..you came to the right place as well. Most of us here are "half-nuts" anyway! You would realize that if you read some of the stories on here. Let's address what's making you nervous. Lack of support from friends? Lack of funds? Leaving things behind? |
I cant put my finger on what it is exactly, it may just be not really knowing what to expect.
I know this is the place for encouragement i have spent endless days reading stories and researching anything and everything in envy. I think it may be the excitement that i will finally be going away after all this time dreaming off it. Then maby have a story of my own to share with the rest of the 'nuts' on here! One thing is my lack of language skills when being abroad making it a bit lonesome, easy to overcome? |
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Remember your log in info for this site and if in trouble just get to the nearest internet cafe or activate the internet on your mobile phone and get help from the community on here. Above all else enjoy the trip, I am just so jealous you have a month to travel and leaving Scotland and the midgie behind. enjoy |
The first time I came off the ferry to France my legs were shaking.
Apprehension has happened, I'm sure, to all of us at one time or another. It's normal and natural. We all started somewhere. |
I reckon i could just about manage three pizza's if it was forced upon me but i will make sure to take a phrase book and a smile and see what happens, all part of the fun.
My login details will be at hand for calling in the support on here for the reassuring words of wisdom to settle nerves. Pretty delighted i have a month, a wee change at work has landed me with a month off and to be honest the weather here is absolutely horrible so a bit of sun and avoiding midges as you say is just what is needed. Thank you mark, im glad that im not the only one who has felt this way and ur right got to start somewhere. Sure nerves will settle with some miles on the 'wrong side of the road' under my belt. Cheers |
nerves are natural, the unknown is exciting but also a little scary, thats part of what makes it fun. People are on the whole pleasant & friendly bunch, I have had people drive across towns with me following to lead me to a campsite,sometimes with no common language at all,just a confused expression,a smile & a map:innocent:
You will have a great trip & you always have HU to back you upbier Andy |
You'll have a great time. I remember feeling exactly the same when I initially bit the bullet and did my first bike trip. I had read so many websites...actually too many websites, for what is actually quite a simple, and life affirming, activity.
I drove to the ferry in pouring rain, I was soaked. Getting onto the ferry all the other bikers seemed really experienced - I felt well out of my depth. I arrived late into France and quietly shuffled into a hotel room in Boulogne, hoping to disappear, hoping to get some sleep, hoping no one would recognize quite how scared I felt. The next morning I started my trip, the rain had stopped, and after 30 minutes of tentative riding, fearing I'd end up on the 'wrong side' of the road, I began to calm down. Gradually I started to relax and look around me. By lunch time I was enjoying riding in the same way as I do at home, only a bit more as everything was new. Then really cool things started to happen. On my first day I was sat by my bike in a service station looking at my map, trying to work out where I was about to go, when someone came over, started talking to me, and offered to show me around the rather tricky one way system. The second day a couple on a campsite offering me some left over bottles of water. People repeatedly tried to make conversation when I pulled over or arrived at camp sites. I slowly got used to allowing other people to help me, I started to relax and enjoy it - and I began to see that this was the point. Putting yourself at the mercy of the world, and coming to realize that the scary negative world thrust upon us by the media is negative 'make believe', is one of the amazing pleasure of bike travel. Add to this the fun of spending time on two wheels and you start to see why these kinds of trips are addictive. To recognize you feel fearful, and yet to push yourself beyond it is to be truly alive. You'll have the most amazing time! Be sure to let us know what happens. Rob |
There is nothing to fear Martin except fear itself!
But 'fear' as a guiding sense is good for you - it keeps your senses sharp - it makes you more aware of your surroundings - it keeps you out of danger (mostly- but as you ride a bike..better scratch that one!) - it keeps your tyres away from wet/diesel covered metal covers - Most of all it warns you with that ' I am uncomfortable' feeling that usually means 'best moving on from here'. Trust you senses- 99% of people on Earth want peace- there are a few bad eggs ...sadly. You just have to pray that your Guarding Angel keeps them busy away from you! :scooter:Go and explore - it's fabulous out there with more genuine encounters than you'll probably ever have at home IMHO and as far as languages are concerned, a big beaming smile is the best tool to carry, weighs nothing and opens more doors than you ever imagine! And if you feel you are in need of local help, the Horizons Unlimited local community is just an email away! |
Thank you everyone! I am glad to know that everyone has felt this feeling before departure on there first trip, and that natural. I cannot wait to get going now and will make sure not to worry and be prepared to just smile and embrace any experiences that come my way, all good i hope and i will make sure to trust my senses.
Thanks for all the reassuring words and advice, cant get enough advice from people who have done it before and know what they are talking about. Martin |
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Bertrand. I agree with you! (Just this once though!!) |
well put bertrand.i shipped my bike from australia to england in may and have so far ridden on my own through france,spain ,portugal and am now in the dolomites in italy.travelling on a motorcycle you seem to become part of a worldwide brotherhood.ive met a lot of fantastic people so far and no i dont speak any other language than english.
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A lot of travellers we've met have booked Brit run or English speaking accommodation for a few nights as a sort of safe haven after a day of trying to make yourself understood. There are a number of sites where you can find these 'biker friendly' establishments such as BIKE-STAY - Motorcycle Friendly/Biker Friendly Accommodation Directory, for motorcyclists around the world.
Most Europeans are more pro bike than in the UK. Unfortunately, some French car drivers are so keen to show their enthusiam they drive like prats when you are following them. I would say that in order to get a good balance to your trip try and fit in with the local timetable, for example, in France everyone stops to eat between 12 and 2 and bars (except in touristy places) are shut by 8 or 9 whereas in Spain everything is much later. Also use a map rather than a GPS for finding your way around, this will make the whole trip a lot more memorable and even on a day to day basis you'll be able to talk about where you've been. Have fun! |
Fear is the mind killer!
I was shaking like a sh*tting dog when I first set off, never been on a bike before, bike was too tall for me and too heavy etc etc, but when I actually got going after a few days it had all gone and been replaced with a strong desire to just be on the bike all the time.
Fear is natural, but it is also what makes us feel alive. There is no fear in my day job which is why it's so dull! If there was no fear or apprehension before you did something I don't think you'd find the same sense of achievement and satisfaction after you'd done it, so enjoy the fear and get through it anyway! |
Overcome the fear and live Martin
Martin,
Go for it. Travelling overseas on a bike for the first time, you should be nervous - it will keep you sharp! I kept repeating to myself - "throttle to the kerb - throttle to the kerb". It only takes a day or so but after that, it's second nature. Don't worry about the language barriers, make an effort as best your can, smile, and people will understand and help. As an Aussie, my first experience of the language barrier was walking into a pub in Scotland and not understanding a word the locals were saying! We conversed in Fasi (by sign language and writing in the sand) in Iran, smiled at the man with the machine gun in Pakistan with no trouble. Motorcyclists, and especially international travellers look after each other, share advice and stories and"enjoy the Journey" no matter how long or short. HU is the place if ever you need a hand. your month away will make you hungry for more - I guarantee it! Brian (& Shirl) :scooter: |
You will be absolutely fine..I'm just completing my first trip and have had a wonderful experience, despite the absolute and utter fear I felt (just ask HenryUK!!!). It was so bad I was thinking of re-titling my blog - 'how to be a chicken in Turkey'.
Trust that as you step out to meet the world, wonderful things can and do happen. And the not so great things that can happen (err..like getting my travel docs and passport stolen in Iran...oh...and...getting interograted by the Military in Iran cause I happened to be riding through an unmarked serious military zone)...end up being experiences that bring you together with people who you would have never met and show your true strengths. Keep your heart open and a smile on your face and you wont regret it. I promise. Adastra Ride Pray Laugh....... the not so MiddleEast Adventures (now) |
Thank you everyone, it seems like i am in the right frame of mind by being terrified but uncontrollably excited at the same time! I cannot wait and all these words of reassurance from the HU community is only making me more desperate to get going. A few wee weekends away in the next month to sort myself out and then i will be waiting for work to finish and the adventure to begin. I am sure i will have some stories and experiences to share when i return and will be truly bitten by the bug, just waiting for the next trip to begin!
Thanks again Martin |
Fear
Fear are a normal feeling as long as they do not stop you to do or enjoy what ever you want to do .
Here are few tips: 1) do not listen negative comments ( most of the time given by people who have no clue of what they are talking about) 2) do not over react , when afraid ask yourself : why , where does the fear come from ( past experience ,doubt,,,,) 3) as much as possible disociate yourself with situation (become an observer) 4) ask for help and advice from good source 5)imagine yourself helping someone in similar situation ( what advice would you give them) 6) take the time to look at how much you already accomplished 7) use reframing as much as possible ,ex: its going to be rough>it look challenging but I did prep myself > many other people did before and can help me > its great to be able to live such adventure>I have already done so much ,I know I will deal with what ever could happen> there is no reason anything bad happen>...... I am professionally trained to councel people with phobia and other mental issues so trust me you are OK , fear is sometime just a way to keep safer. Cheers Hendi :clap: |
gday brian and shirl.did you by chance write a book about one of your travels?if so it was a great read.
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Apprehension
Hi Martin what you refer to is also called the what if syndrome,and let me tell you its perfectly natural,infact if you never had any apprehensions i would be worried.When i started my 32,000 mile trip back in 2009 it took around seven days to go away,after that the sense of freedom is overwelming,so make your plans and go for it, you will never look back. Trooper
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Martin,
You've really gotten some great advice and offered some truly valid perspectives already from other HUBB members, so I'm not sure what I can offer, but I do have some experience in dealing with people and their fears. For 15 years I was a flight instructor and had to deal with people who were anxious, nervous or downright scared on a daily basis. Some were real basket cases. Ultimately, however, I think my students found it helpful to know that fear was absolutely part of the process, is important to the process and is a somewhat desirable condition early on. There is only one thing that makes it disappear in time and that is experience, and only one way to get experience...GO DO IT! In my career, I probably kicked over 200 students out of the nest and sent them on their first solo flight. Everyone of them was scared. My job, however, was to judge the level of that fear and to determine how they would be able to manage it should something unforeseen happen. It was always a high stress time... for BOTH of us. But you know... they all rose to the occasion and often told me that it was one of the greatest experiences they ever had in life. They just managed their fear and DID IT. I hear from you the same kind of self-questioning that each of my students underwent. I never sent them solo until I felt that they themselves, whether they verbalized it or not, had already decided to do it. It sounds to me like you're ready to do this. Boot... OK Martin, you're outta here. My advice? Fly within your limits and have a great time. As you gain more travel experience your limits will grow and you will suddenly realize that the fear has faded, replaced only by true joy. You'll come to see that your "first solo" was one of the greatest moments of your life. Enjoy your fears. They will soon fade and you might even wind up missing the feeling at times. |
Great advice
As I read the thread you created tears actually came to my eyes.
As did several death defying experiences I have had. Thank you so much for being so forthcoming - you have elicited excellent advice from us of the HUBB. I really like what the flight instructor offered. Here is my humble say. After more than 50 years of motorcycling, I still feel fear. Fear is one of my friends. Today, my fear manifests itself as a slight uneasy feeling that causes me to be more aware of what might be around that next curve or over that next hill. Fear rides with me, as a silent partner, until there is actual danger afoot. Then, my fear like some erstwhile Paul Revere alerts me that I might want to slow down,look around and do a watch, wallet and testicle check. For me fear is my intuition that keeps me safe. xfiltrat ride hard, ride free courage here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GiKA...eature=related and here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcDCv...eature=related |
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as to language skills. take pencil and notebook for writing and drawing. I got on fine in Germany and apart from good morning and thank you in German I don't speak a word of any foreign language except for a smattering of French. In the Czech republic I bartered for a fair exchange rate ( I did not know they were out of the euro zone ) to get a meal one wet Sunday evening. I drew a diagram to show a Polish peasant woman the 'Flytrap' as I could not find it. It was where I thought it was but hidden up a bank behind trees. Never ride outside your comfort zone, be it weather, time or speed. and always ride defensively. That way you will enjoy your ride. |
Hi Bertrand,
Comments like yours, makes all of us feel well, being part of the adventurer riding mob. Well done. One doesn't get a similar feeling among many other website with similar interest. The contributions, help and support on this site are absolutely great. Happy, I have joined. Cheers RM |
Fear or is it something else
I am also about to embark on my first solo (bigger) trip and it is not so much fear that worries me but a sense of being lonely. At home I am surrounded by my wife and three lovely daughters who spoil me rotten. At work there are colleagues to talk to, and my time off ,friends to go out with. Then all of a sudden I set out on my own...different countries, languages and habits and what have you. I know that I am not very outgoing nor talkative...not like those people who make friends instantly where ever they go and are at the centre of the conversation. It is just not me...but to interact with people on the way I have to open up myself much more...it will be a test for me for sure!
A test I am quite willing to undergo...a confrontation with myself. |
Of course it's normal......we've all been there and it does get easier!
The hardest thing is to make the decision to leave ! And it's often worse thinking about it than doing it....... After only being on a motorbike for 2 years I headed out to do London to Cape Town with a complete stranger I met through the HUBB Europe has a good infrastructure with plenty of resources ! So go out there and enjoy the experience - everyday is an adventure (good or bad) Louise (currently touring south America with yet another strange man) " normal is a failure of potential" |
Great thread you opened! I always thought i was the only one out there with anxcieties and homesickness.
Maybe i have a little tip for you. The first time i left home alone i would go for some time as was comfortable. The first night i stayed at a campsite at Verdun approx. 450km away from my home. I had a wonderfull day of riding behind me but when the evening started i got doubts, really doubts. What am i doing here? At home is my wife and my two big boys waiting and i am here in the dark. I told myself you can go back and then or you can have a bite and take a small sleeping pil and see what's hapening the next morning. The next morning the sun was shining, i ate my breakfast, sadlled up my bike and started him. The sound of the running bike makes me forget everything and had yet another wonderfull day. I traveled small roads from Holland to Marrakesh Morocco. But after three weeks when i came from the ferry i wanted to go home and did in 1 day 1765 km! After that first trip i made lots of trips for several weeks, now and then i have the same bad vibes. What i do is go to the center of a town, have a bite with 1 or 2 glasses of wine and when i am really feeling bad i take a luxurious hotel put on the tv, take a bath and try to have a comfortable sleep. The other thing i have learned, that for me it takes time and practice to stay away from home. Nowadays i travel approx. 400km a day and put up my tent, have a walk and most of the time there is always somebody who want's to talk to the 'lonely' traveller, because in most cases they want to do the same but find it hard to be 'alone' but in fact you never are! Anyway have a safe trip! |
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