Uganda, August 2005
August 13, 2005 GMT
Sauce For The Goose.

9/8/05. Murchison Falls National Park.


murchbaboonsahead.JPG

120 miles of reasonable tarmac and 100 miles of baboon-strewn dirt track from Kampala to Murchison. I've been in Uganda three days and it's very endearing. Kampala is a proper city. Jinja has death-defying white water rafting, which I intend to do on the way back to Kenya.

warthogmurch.JPG
And God said, "Let There Be Pigs". And He looked at the pigs and saw that they were too damn pretty. "People Will Think I'm A Nancy" said God. "Let There Be Warthogs!"

One difference between the dusty endurance test that is West Africa and the lush, facility-laden semi-paradise that is the East, is that white people in the West talk to each other in bars. Over this side, a lot of the tourists are in coach parties and they fear the outsider, which is fine with me as they're all either 60 year old Teutonic vegetarians or braying West London twonks.
---

You don't know what "green" is until you've seen a tea plantation in morning sunshine. I hate to sound like a "you don't wanna do it like that" type, one of whom said to me in Kenya;
"I always maintain, the most fun you can have
pause for imagined comedic effect
with your clothes on ah ha ha ha,
is blah blah blah blah".
Do these people really imagine that their audience has never heard the "with your clothes on" line before? What level of self-absorbed leaden-mindedness does that imply?
---

Coming out of Kenya on Sunday, the guy that takes money for the spurious $20 "road tax" makes the classic mistake of handing me back my change and receipt before demanding 200 Kenya shillings "overtime". I'm in the clear document-wise, so a shouting match is on the cards.
"If you don't pay my overtime the office is closed!" he threatens, failing to grasp the fact that I don't give a fuck. Steam begins to emerge from his capacious ears. I intone the word "Bribe" very loudly indeed as I pull away towards Uganda and freedom...
---

Nile Special* is without a doubt the best beer in Africa. But don't make any elaborate plans for the next day...
---

At the Ugandan border, I'm told that the absolute minimum I must pay for 3rd party insurance is 70,000 Uganda shillings. After 30 minutes of stony-faced intransigence they accept 16,500.
---


10/8/05. Masindi.

murchbikebridge.JPG

Up at dawn and back down a fifty-mile dirt track to the town of Masindi. On the way I stop at Murchison Falls. Blimey! That's a lot of water.

murch1.JPG

Er, "clumps" of baboons hang about along the road. Photos don't do them justice as they scarper by the time I get my camera out.
In the PM I dawdle in the general area of the bar of the very nice Court View Hotel. The woman that runs the place - let's call her Sybil - is one of those intolerable grotesques who cringingly asks one if one's breakfast sausage is to one's liking, and then in the same breath turns to one of her staff and publicly humiliates them for inexact napkin arrangement. Whore.

murchrainbow.JPG
Paint the whole world with a Rainbooooooooow!

---

*5.6% ABV

Posted by Simon Fitzpatrick at 03:10 PM GMT
October 24, 2005 GMT
I'm Getting The Fear

11/8/05. Kampala, Uganda.

ugjinkate.JPG

Back to the capital for a few days of R&R, bike maintenance, big-city necessity purchasing and mental preparation for the frankly terrifying white-water rafting at Jinja. It's supposedly the second most hairy bit of rafting in the world (after the Zambezi) and the number of times I've done it before, rounded up to the nearest whole digit, currently stands at nearly one.


16/8/05 Jinja, Uganda.

Rafting tomorrow. Gulp. The leaflet produced by Adrift, the rafting company, features quotes from such feeble nanocelebs as flaxen haired goof Prince William ("That was brilliant!" Um, thanks, your Highness); well-known human Geri Halliwell; the suspiciously long-serving President Museveni of Uganda; and Cro-Magnon-browed BBC squawkstress Kate Thornton ("I thought I was going to die!" And yet, annoyingly, you didn't).

The bar at the Adrift campsite is another contender for Best One In Africa.

ugjinbungi.JPG
View from the bar with bungy platform

Posted by Simon Fitzpatrick at 02:54 PM GMT
 


HU DVD Summer Special!

Now that summer is here, get On the Road! Take 30% off the Achievable Dream - On the Road! 2-DVD set until August 31 only. Get On the Road! Learn the tips to staying healthy, happy and secure on your motorcycle adventure!

Our veteran travellers share their tips (and great stories) for staying healthy, happy and secure on your motorcycle adventure.

"A fantastic, informative and inspirational DVD."

"It's brilliant - thank you very much!"

Check it out at the HU Store! Remember to use Coupon Code 'ONTHEROAD' on your order when you checkout.


Renedian Adventures


Renedian Adventures

What others say about HU...

"I just wanted to say thanks for doing this and sharing so much with the rest of us." Dave, USA

"Your website is a mecca of valuable information and the DVD series is informative, entertaining, and inspiring! The new look of the website is very impressive, updated and catchy. Thank you so very much!" Jennifer, Canada

"...Great site. Keep up the good work." Murray and Carmen, Australia

"We just finished a 7 month 22,000+ mile scouting trip from Alaska to the bottom of Chile and I can't tell you how many times we referred to your site for help. From how to adjust your valves, to where to stay in the back country of Peru. Horizons Unlimited was a key player in our success. Motorcycle enthusiasts from around the world are in debt to your services." Alaska Riders

contest pic

10th Annual HU Travellers Photo Contest is on now! This is an opportunity for YOU to show us your best photos and win prizes!

NEW! HU 2014 Adventure Travel T-shirts! are now available in several colors! Be the first kid on your block to have them! New lower prices on synths!

HU 2014 T-shirts now in!

Check out the new Gildan Performance cotton-feel t-shirt - 100% poly, feels like soft cotton!


What turns you on to motorcycle travel?


Global Rescue, WORLDwide evacuation services for EVERYONE

Global Rescue is the premier provider of medical, security and evacuation services worldwide and is the only company that will come to you, wherever you are, and evacuate you to your home hospital of choice. Additionally, Global Rescue places no restrictions on country of citizenship - all nationalities are eligible to sign-up!


New to Horizons Unlimited?

New to motorcycle travelling? New to the HU site? Confused? Too many options? It's really very simple - just 4 easy steps!

Horizons Unlimited was founded in 1997 by Grant and Susan Johnson following their journey around the world on a BMW R80 G/S motorcycle.

Susan and Grant Johnson Read more about Grant & Susan's story

Membership - help keep us going!

Horizons Unlimited is not a big multi-national company, just two people who love motorcycle travel and have grown what started as a hobby in 1997 into a full time job (usually 8-10 hours per day and 7 days a week) and a labour of love. To keep it going and a roof over our heads, we run events (22 this year!); we sell inspirational and informative DVDs; we have a few selected advertisers; and we make a small amount from memberships.

You don't have to be a Member to come to an HU meeting, access the website, the HUBB or to receive the e-zine. What you get for your membership contribution is our sincere gratitude, good karma and knowing that you're helping to keep the motorcycle travel dream alive. Contributing Members and Gold Members do get additional features on the HUBB. Here's a list of all the Member benefits on the HUBB.


Books & DVDs

amazon

All the best travel books and videos listed and often reviewed on HU's famous Books page. Check it out and get great travel books from all over the world.


Motorcycle Express for shipping and insurance!

Motorcycle Express

MC Air Shipping, (uncrated) USA / Canada / Europe and other areas. Be sure to say "Horizons Unlimited" to get your $25 discount on Shipping!
Insurance - see: For foreigners traveling in US and Canada and for Americans and Canadians traveling in other countries, then mail it to MC Express and get your HU $15 discount!

Story and photos copyright ©

Sorry, you need a Javascript enabled browser to get the email address and dates. You can contact Horizons Unlimited at the link below. Please be sure to tell us WHICH blog writer you wish to contact.

All Rights Reserved.

Contact the author:

Editors note: We accept no responsibility for any of the above information in any way whatsoever. You are reminded to do your own research. Any commentary is strictly a personal opinion of the person supplying the information and is not to be construed as an endorsement of any kind.

Hosted by: Horizons Unlimited, the motorcycle travellers' website!
You can have your story here too - click for details!