11.6.09 Catamayo, Ecuador

I stagger home at 10pm from Bar Lovely in Happyville and decide it's time for a haircut. I'm armed with an electric razor and sheer, bloody-minded, booze-enhanced willpower. I am, literally, Mad Britney, with way less cash. A tramp, if you will.

Just a light trim, please

I haven't had a haircut since Margate in September last year, and my shaver is crap, so it takes 2 hours, but at last it's done. Something that looks like a flattened adult cat is left on the floor. I look in the mirror. I am Telly Savalas. Cool. Bedtime.

The next morning I blunder towards the mirror, confused, dehydrated and vaguely ashamed. Oh goodness. I am Telly Savalas, but as he would look now if you dug him up and punched him in what used to be his face.

The hotel staff clearly don't recognise me when I descend to reception, but are kind enough not to point/stare/laugh. My face is red-to-brownish, but the area where my hair used to be is Snow White. I wheel Her Ladyship out of the building and scoot. It's hot, jungly and sweaty on the 30-mile border dash. Only 15 minutes elapse before I start to thank Jehovah for my hairless scalp. What a feeling!
(Later, at the hotel in Ecuador, I see they've supplied packets of 2-in-1 Pantene - the finest shampoo a sensible amount of money can buy. Bingo! I think, before remembering that shampoo is a thing of the past. No problem, I counter. I have other hairs! Oh no - it seems I don't. Must unclog my shaver.)
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Proper, Sensible Motorcycle Travel Advice Section.

La Tina is a really easy border crossing if you're going from Peru to Ecuador. I was out of Peru in 15 minutes and into Ecuador in 60 (only because the Ecuadorian Customs computer is a Windows 95 pig-stool). There was no suggestion of a back-hander at any point.

The one issue you might want to look out for is the possibility of a gun-battle between Peruvian smugglers and the Ecuadorian army. I missed one by 10 minutes.

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