August 23, 2007 GMT
And then came the rain/

And I thought the wilderness classed camp was basic! Last Thursday, day of last blog entry, I stayed in an environmental camp; which is a wilderness one without the facilities. I had to pack my stuff in for about a half km. So much for the reassurance of the bears from last night, its a bit different when completely alone in the pitch black. Every noise heard had me shining my rather puny wind-up head torch into the surrounding forest. I didn't even have my my beautiful bike to protect me! It was strange how a comment came into my head, as if Cai were walking by my side, as I packed in my gear. The comment was a simple one, "wow, this is really cool." It was such a strong and clear thought, felt lovely to feel his presence like that.

I ran out of highway one and it became a smaller, non freeway, Hw 101. Which took me out of California and all the way north through Oregon and taking a loop round the west and north of Washington. It remained a nice road, very little straight and boring; open, gorgeous, high speed bends with lovely smooth tarmac and the more north I got the quieter it became. But as soon as I got into Oregon the scenery changed. Long stretches of beach, lovley dark sand and totally deserted.
There were countless numbers of these that I saw from the road, I was being a bit security conscious and didn't want to leave the bike unattended while I went in search of a quiet spot to bare my arse. It also didn't help that it was just a touch nippy, though fine for sheltered bathing in the sun. I waited to get to a really long stretch of sandy coast I could see on the map; unfortunately when I actually got there it was miles and miles of enormous sand dunes. No sodding beaches for ages so I went and camped by a lake; on a pretty tacky RV park. At least I got to have a shower and shave, even if my bike gear is minging I might as well try and keep the personal stench down a tad.

Actually it turned out pretty good, I happened upon a weekend of drag boat racing on the lake and the grandstand view of the finish line was from this park. Have you ever tried to get a photo of an object travelling at nearly 200 mph? If it hadn't been for the torrential rain we got subjected to I might have stayed and watched the finals on the Sunday, but once the waterproofs were on I was sweating my cobs off. I had to get moving down the road to cool off. I was really lucky though, just before leaving I managed to catch sight of the resident Osprey and got a long range picture showing it clearly.

Thoughts and feelings of Cai were positive and reassuring for the days out around quiet wilderness areas. The last few days have changed again, for the first time anger has erupted. I was only having a semi out of control cry whilst riding and it just got out of proportion. I actually considered stopping and trying to find some source of solace, I felt so isolated and vulnerable. While considering my options a church was passed and it seemed a certainty some of the righteous followers would be sure to offer a shoulder to cry on. Oh shit, then the thought of GOD came into my mind, swiftly followed by tremendous anger at this supposed superior, all powerful being. If there is a god and he can stand by and let someone as perfect as Cai get wasted in such a horrid way I'll piss all over him. I was raging, screaming abuse at this thought of god. So much so that my throat swelled right up and I could hardly speak after. It didn't stop the crying either, but I did feel better for it. It came up again in a less ferocious way yesterday, but that was with other motorists.

Driving over here leaves a lot to be desired, once in a lane thats where they're gonna stay; however fast or slow they go. I guess in a way I feel such bad lane discipline was a contributing factor to Cai's death. Obviously this has been on the boil subconsciously for a while. Jeeez, was I forceful in my riding yesterday. I wouldn't overtake on solid lines but when they were broken I was going through; whether they liked it or not. And many obviously didn't! They did move out the way when it was obvious I was coming through anyway; they didn't need to else I wouldn't have made the overtake. Close enough for them to give me more space. And that isn't really the way I want to conduct too much of my highway riding, but it did feel warrented because of the selfish, inconsiderate driving.

My bike has been great, if it carries on in such easy style I might not throw it at the ground many more times. I don't think it minds too much though, if it does it hasn't grumbled about it.

Posted by Leslie Kay at August 23, 2007 11:38 PM GMT

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