Strangest Thing Ever Shipped?
When I was at Heathrow having my bike crated I asked Dave, who was making my crate, what's the strangest thing he’s ever sent?
‘I’ve been in this job for twelve years’, he replied, ‘the strangest thing I’ve ever packed was a penis’.
‘What markings were on the box?’, I asked, ‘one careful owner?’.
‘You’re having me on!’. Exclaimed Pete, he had a shaved head, two nose rings and ‘venom’ tattooed across his neck. They'd been working together for four years.
‘No, it was a real, frozen, penis. It was going to be used in medical research’.
‘It’s a bit late to test with Viagra’, I quipped.
‘Unless it’s the new super strong version’, said Venom.
It didn’t seem an appropriate moment to argue with him.
He was clearly amazed and impressed.
‘What happened to the donor?’
‘I don’t know, I just boxed it up and sent it’.
‘He must have ticked the ‘Please use my willy’ box on his organ donor’s card’, added Venom.
Hmm, where's my card?
Visit www.fowb.co.uk for more stuff.
Posted by Jeremy Bullard at 11:31 PM
So why haven't I left yet?
Today did not get off to a great start. I planned my day and went to Granny's to adjust the sag. I had loads of things going through my head and, having put some stuff in the top box, started the engine. I waited for a gap in the traffic and rolled the throttle on to ride straight off the pavement onto the road.
I didn't get very far.
This is the second time I've done it - I'd forgotten to remove the padlock securing the bike to a lamp post. I got about five feet before coming to a rather abrupt halt and falling off. As is usual in this situation I leapt up to see if anyone was watching.
Unfortunately, there was one chap walking down the other side of the road who had seen it all. I asked him if he could kindly help me pick it up. He was soon joined by my neighbours Nev and Leslie who'd heard me start the engine and were also watching from their house.
I explained that this sort of thing was normal behaviour for me and shouldn't be cause for alarm.
So when will I be leaving?
I hope (plan version nine hundred and fifty four) to leave before the end of the month. That will still allow me two weeks in New York and two weeks to get to Creel in Mexico by 31st October.
Until then I just need to solve all my existing opportunities and hope there are no more big surprises.
Posted by Jeremy Bullard at 11:18 PM