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-   -   Solo Or Do I Search For Someone? (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/travellers-seeking-travellers/solo-do-i-search-someone-53014)

bobbyrandall 2 Oct 2010 13:00

Solo Or Do I Search For Someone?
 
Just a question about going it alone or look for someone, I mean a female to go with, before you start with the nudge nudge wink wink approach, I am 51 years old, but young for my age... and was a holiday rep for 18 years, so I think it fair to say that I´m not desperate for a woman, I dont want to take my girlfriend of the mo for various reasons..... she doesn´t even know Im going......Im interested in stories, experience from those that have set out with someone and split during the trip, or met with someone along the way and carried on with them....generally the advantages or otherwise of going solo or accompanied. The question is about someone on the bike with me, not riding on a seperate bike...have any of you stopped at a place and settled there forever??? All general mid-life crises questions, I suppose. And if you decide to go accompanied, how or where do you find the right person, thats willing to leave it all for years and head off?? Has anyone searched blue yonder for a travel-partner??? Please dont suggest dating sites, as if you re-read the post, you know thats not me,
Questions, questions...

Lars 2 Oct 2010 15:10

Do it on your own!
 
As someone said I met on the road: You will only be as lonesome as you want to be.

You'll have better contact to locals being only one person and you'll always meet other travellers.

Lars

Nixa 2 Oct 2010 16:25

I totaly agree with Lars, but I also travelled alone extensively and there are
a few disadvanteges of being alone, mostly practical ones, egz. concerning quick stops and leaving the bike unattended...
Also I think that travel buddies should be good frends before, because it is simpler to say f word to someone you know than a near total stranger. And there will probably be souch an occasion. :)

Lars 2 Oct 2010 16:35

Honestly, I would hesitate to travel with a friend. I tend to be more polite to strangers and it's easier to separate if it does not work out, too...

pare.raviraj 2 Oct 2010 19:46

Hello,
I think within a day or two of riding or mountain climbing, one can tell wether a person will be a good friend for life or a someone unsuitable for travel togther.
Nothing against persons...its just that some people wont gel along with certain people. Age, attitude, personalities, culture diffrences, empathy, etc can be a such a fine mix...
but, by experience, i have set out alone and found friends for lifetime i would never otherwise found.

I dont know about the female part...I think it will just add to the complexities...If its a tough woman...you wont have any problem..but . if she is girly girly...you have one more thing to take care of... :)

@Lars: i would actually know which of my friends would suit the trip before i choose to go. so, i think going with the friend is a lot better than stranger.
@Nixa: Yeah, thats a disadvantage of riding and travelling alone. also, evening when camping alone become very lonesome...for me atleast.
Pare.

Tony P 3 Oct 2010 00:06

It sounds you are enquiring about a companion on the bike, sooner than another bike going along with you.

Much depends on the type of journey you have in mind and your own motives.

Touring regular tourist places can be fairly lonely on your own. Desite many people about, everyone tends to keep to themselves or their group, particularly when there are other unknown travellers from their homeland around.

Riding the (generally) unexplored, you are better riding solo. You can then ride the bike better and are only responsible to yourself for time, distance and diversions.

On any journey of more than a few hours you will find other riders to share the roads with, unless you are somewhere really remote. This just happens. Once it does you can discuss possibilities beyond where you are.

If you have ridden really hard it is good at the end of the day to reflect on it alone - only you understand what you have done, can relax and think of the next day sooner than the next half hour.:unsure:

PocketHead 3 Oct 2010 01:03

Go it solo but meet and ride with other riders along the way, whenever you can.

vagabondtwo 3 Oct 2010 06:22

I agree, solo is the way to go, but nothing wrong with riding a few days with a stranger(s).
:scooter:

bugsy 3 Oct 2010 18:21

Go solo dude! Like Lars said- he's right-
Nothing worse than being stuck with some you can't get on with- and a woman along can bring you more problems:blushing: (sorree ladies! love you but leave you!!) -been there done that - doh

You meet way more people alone and can have fantastic cultural experiences.
Bikers go together when they need each other's support- and usually end up staying together as a group and miss all the good stuff!

Selous 3 Oct 2010 22:01

I have done it both ways, Just me met ppl on the way, ridden with them for a while or few days depending, & also had some 'romantic meetings' with fellow traveller,s (female), who we stayed together for a few days then parted company, as we both had our own roads to travel.

With my partner. she loved it, there where the however now and again, to do with where things go on bike etc. how much she wanted to take etc, will point out we did not have to worry about periods due to illness thank god!

pheonix 21 Oct 2010 16:38

After reading your post, I thought I could share my experiences:
I've had 2 disasters travelling with a person I didn't know very well.

The first time, a group of us went to France & one of the guys who had never ridden abroad wanted to go to Spain. I took an extra week off work to accompany him. However, during the 1st week, he decided he didn't like riding abroad so I spent the 2nd week on my own :(

The second time, last year, I decided on a solo trip to Austria. However, I advertised for a companion in my bike club. A guy travelling to Cyprus replied so we agreed to go half-way together.
At 6.30pm, aboard the overnight UK ferry, he told me "it was too early to have a drink" - I was allowed a beer at 9pm.
The following morning we spent an extra 2 hours in the dock because he lost his passport (turned up on his cabin bed).
We were meeting some of my girl biker friends for a weekend in Ostend & when I said I was going for an afternoon ride, he said I shouldn't go out on my own..... (I've been riding bikes for nrly 30 yrs).
The night before we were due to ride down to Austria, again he told me not to drink because we had a long day ahead and that he'd booked a hotel room somewhere in Germany - not something we had agreed nor what I wanted to do.
So I told him to ride on his own from there on.

I would love to find some fellow travelling companions who enjoy what I like and aren't scared of life but it's very difficult. I'm one of those strong women someone mentioned (altho I'll still cry at spiders, clowns and sad movies). I find myself being the organiser and decision-maker, whereas I would prefer someone more equal.

I don't think it matters whether you travel with a friend, a partner or a stranger. But you need to have an agreement about what happens if you don't get along and above all - meet them lots of times before you set off if you can! LOL

Keith1954 21 Oct 2010 19:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by pheonix (Post 309725)
I've had 2 disasters travelling with a person I didn't know very well.

... I don't think it matters whether you travel with a friend, a partner or a stranger. But you need to have an agreement about what happens if you don't get along and above all - meet them lots of times before you set off if you can! LOL

I couldn't agree with you more Elaine. I've been there too - AND bought the travel "let's buddy-up" T-shirt on more than one occasion. Never EVER again, for me.

[:confused1: .. hmmm? Although I will admit that .. it just could be me who's got the problem .. :eek3:!!]

I've read that if you really really want to get to know someone, then go travel with them. Within a week you'll know each and every one of their foibles, idiosyncrasies, peculiarities, perversions and bloody annoying everyday bad habits! If you're lucky enough to still be talking to each other by the time you get home, then you've got a friend for life.

Remember that a hellofa lot of planning, sacrifice (and hard-earned dosh) can go into a trip, especially an overseas ride .. so why risk spoiling it all .. or indeed any of it, if you don't have to?

Just my 2p's worth on this very interesting subject.

Cheers

KEITH

.

Caminando 22 Oct 2010 17:31

Quote:

Originally Posted by bobbyrandall (Post 307513)
Just a question about going it alone or look for someone, I mean a female to go with, before you start with the nudge nudge wink wink approach, I am 51 years old, but young for my age... and was a holiday rep for 18 years, so I think it fair to say that I´m not desperate for a woman, I dont want to take my girlfriend of the mo for various reasons..... she doesn´t even know Im going......Im interested in stories, experience from those that have set out with someone and split during the trip, or met with someone along the way and carried on with them....generally the advantages or otherwise of going solo or accompanied. The question is about someone on the bike with me, not riding on a seperate bike...have any of you stopped at a place and settled there forever??? All general mid-life crises questions, I suppose. And if you decide to go accompanied, how or where do you find the right person, thats willing to leave it all for years and head off?? Has anyone searched blue yonder for a travel-partner??? Please dont suggest dating sites, as if you re-read the post, you know thats not me,
Questions, questions...

With all those years of liasons when travel repping you didnt meet a suitable partner; you have a girlfriend who you haven't told you're leaving on a long trip- and with another woman if you can find the "right" one. You want this new woman to be a dependent passenger, rather than an independent woman on her own bike who can leave whenever she wants. If you found someone like that she'd keep you working on your relationship. But that's not what you want.

Rather than look outward for a solution to your question, you might possibly look inward. You say you're "51 years old but young for your age" - maybe you really yearn for those uncommitted early repping and bonking years. The reluctance to accept your age suggests that. Nothing wrong with that of course, that lifestyle sounds good for a while- but moving on is good too. You havent said what you would give to a relationship - only what you want.

I'd say do the trip and be open to what happens.

pheonix 25 Oct 2010 12:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith1954 (Post 309751)
[:confused1: .. hmmm? Although I will admit that .. it just could be me who's got the problem .. :eek3:!!]

Hilarious! I've often wondered whether it's me too!
But I simply put it down to the fact, I've never fitted the "normal" category, esp now I'm a middle-aged woman! :D:devil2: - I should be raising grandkids and knitting instead of racing around 2 wheels?
Fortunately my daughter is a travel addict too so hopefully the g'kids are a long way off yet :thumbup1:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Keith1954 (Post 309751)
I've read that if you really really want to get to know someone, then go travel with them. Within a week you'll know each and every one of their foibles, idiosyncrasies, peculiarities, perversions and bloody annoying everyday bad habits! If you're lucky enough to still be talking to each other by the time you get home, then you've got a friend for life..........
KEITH

Absolutely! So why do I keep forgetting this rule! doh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caminando (Post 309884)
With all those years of liasons when travel repping you didnt meet a suitable partner; you have a girlfriend who you haven't told you're leaving on a long trip- and with another woman if you can find the "right" one. You want this new woman to be a dependent passenger, rather than an independent woman on her own bike who can leave whenever she wants. If you found someone like that she'd keep you working on your relationship. But that's not what you want.

Well Said!

Where's mr bobbyrandall - he started all this?

Les K 3 Dec 2010 09:06

Solo is oh so much better!
 
Riding day in, day out, alone, will teach you more about yourself than most things in life. It will open your eyes to what's around you, and within yourself. It will induce you to use your own head for instant decision making, not rely on others or blame them when a bad decision is made.

We should all have the strength to rely on ourselves, what better way to find that out unless you have been off on a decent gallivant alone. And I'm 50yrs so you shouldn't be using age as an excuse for anything.:nono:


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