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  #46  
Old 21 Feb 2007
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I have a solution, give me her address and I'll keep her company 'til you get back.
I left my girl of 10 years behind to do the Pan Am, only 8-10 months and she said she'd wait... 5 months later and she's found someone else. If I could have had her on the back of the bike, I would have... even with the extra weight!
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  #47  
Old 22 Feb 2007
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If she REALLY is THE right one for you...take her.

You'll regret losing her .
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  #48  
Old 23 Feb 2007
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right on............

Quote:
Originally Posted by maria41 View Post
If I were your g/f and you tell me, after spending probably a very long time planning the trip etc.. that you are going without me, I would:

1- dump you
2- smash you bike
3- get my own bike
4- rent my house
5- leave for a RTW trip! Solo! Who need a man?!

In another words I would take it v. badly!

Maria
I second that!
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  #49  
Old 23 Feb 2007
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dave_Smith View Post
I was raised with 3 sisters and no brothers. I think I'm a caring person, but I wouldn't be so concerned with _only_ her comfort. I figure if I'm hot or stuck in the rain, she'd be in the same mess too.

I started the first thread, and haven't found anyone yet. Still have the same girl saying she wants to go who I started planning the trip with 6 years ago, but she isn't doing anything towards it. Still have a different ex-gf that wants to go, but I'd rather go alone than with her, even though she is really nice.

I posted an ad to craigslist and met a nifty girl (attractive, smart, rides, reliant, slaughters her own cows, has the same "better the experience then living for money" take I have on life), but last night, she sent me an email saying she's hooked up with another girl. Better finding out now, then getting dumped in India for a Hindu lesbian.

As Rachel said, "There's nothing quite like having someone to share the experience with."

Now where is that someone hiding....

--Dave
Don't feel bad - threesomes can be fun!
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  #50  
Old 23 Feb 2007
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Motives!

I have not read this entire thread but it seems to me that most of the post are "self" centered rather that partner centered. Most everyone that has posted is actively looking or would like a traveling/life partner, but to meet their own needs.

My question is this: is getting your own needs met as a primary motivator a recipe for a future failed relationship. It seems to me that the focus in the a great relationships that I have seen is mutual one-anothering.
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  #51  
Old 24 Feb 2007
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Go together!

Wiese, what is wrong with you ?
You have a wonderfull girl, she wants to come with you and then you don't want it ????

I have a wonderfull wife but she has absolutely no interest in long distance biketrips so I go alone on all my trips. I would give my left leg (mmmm.... would have to buy a trike then....) to have her with me on my trips.
Traveling alone has its advantages but when you are standing on the most beautifull place in the world, you realy want to share it with someone.

And from the lady's point of view, I agree with Maria. You just can't do that to someone you love and who loves you.

Stop being so foolish and go enjoy your RTW together.
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  #52  
Old 6 Mar 2007
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An update from Wiese?

I've held my tongue for way too long on this one!!
Wiese, any update on your situation after so many people have kindly shared their requested views?

Cake and eat it too...
Having been on the receiving end of this particular mind set, I wish that I was a meaner person. I would have enacted all of Maria's points with great gusto! (you're the best Maria!)

If you need affirmations from a group of international strangers about what you should do when it comes to someone you are supposed to care about, well, enough said. The answer is already starring you in the face.

Don't take her. She is prepared to give up everything and commit to you and something that is/was initially a love of yours and you aren't sure you can personally invest a smidgen of what she is. It won't work. The big question will become smaller questions that recur every day in your mind. If you can't make the decision when the going is easy, it will be a really rubbish situation when the going gets tough.

I agree with what has been said, it's the essential difference in mind set between someone that is prepared to view things from a couple perspective, versus someone who puts themselves first but doesn't mind the benefits (when they are benefits) of having a partner.

Second is not a good place to continually be placed, especially during something as life changing an adventure as a motorcycle trip can be.
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  #53  
Old 6 Mar 2007
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Lonely Streets

I remember walking around Avignon the first year I lost my wife. Worst thing was not having anyone along to enthuse and discuss what I'd seen. Now I'm doing an AWT (RWT in the American language) solo. (Hoping to share company for some miles along the route.) No way would I be doing this if she were still here, but you...you can have your cake and eat it buddy. I know that part of your trip is probably 'to find yourself' but taking responsibility for someone else is also an important part of lifes journey. In the end only you are the winner or looser, so ignore what we are all saying and go with your heart. (Heads tend to get filled with crap)

Perhaps a mini-trip for a week or so together would polerise your thoughts? After all what's a week in your lifes timetable?

Anyway my best wishes that you make a descision that turns out to be a good one.
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  #54  
Old 6 Mar 2007
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I haven't read the whole thing either, about half.... my thoughts are that it's possible to spend TOO much time with someone, you know. Sometimes a time apart is great. I left an awesome girl behind, with the knowlege that I'll never have her back, let alone see her again for a good many years. And I'm okay with that. This adventure is more important to me.

But that said, I'm 22, never had a serious relationship and (at the moment) never intend to. So there's my bias.

Good luck
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  #55  
Old 10 Mar 2007
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Wink One or two

I am doing my trip in the summer of 2008 (and this time I am not going to delay it). I am debating whether I should try and find someone else to go along so it is interesting to read various perspectives on the prospect of one or two.

I must say that if I had a compatible partner who was willing to do a trip like this it would be a no brainer for me. I just don't want to end up traveling with someone that I don't get along with as I would be much too polite to say so and just put up with it which would spoil the trip.

If you are going at the same time your gf is welcome to travel with me
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Last edited by sunflowers; 10 Mar 2007 at 08:47.
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  #56  
Old 12 Mar 2007
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I'm not planning a rtw but for years i yearned to travel in europe.
i felt there was so much to see, places i had to see, and i'd dreamt it for so long (marriage,house,kids meant i couldnt do it earlier) that i had developed an idea that i had to go it alone as it had becom an almost spritual,emotional thing.
something that in my mind would signal that i had entered the next phase of my life,free from the ties that had bound me for so long (dont get me wrong, i'm very happily marrid and love my kids to bits but money has always been tight).
My family were very understanding, i think the wife put it down to mid life crisis or male menapause. Any way long story short, i get to travel alone to some of the places i'd dreamt of. nowhere dramatic but we all have a different road we want to travell. Thing was, after a couple of solo trips i realised something was missing so on the next trip i took the wife and thats when it all fell into place.
I'd had this passion for so long i'd forgotten about all the times over the years she'd sat and listened to me telling her about the places i wanted to see and what i wanted to do when i got there that she had become part of the adventure without me even realising it.
its a great thing to be able to share your deepest pleasures in life with the person you love most.
have you thought about starting solo and arranging to meet upwith your other half part way round and continuing together, or start together and at an agreed destination you carry on and your partner returns home to hold the fort until you return.
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  #57  
Old 14 Mar 2007
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Take me to the chicka bar

Hmmmm,
Time to pound a stake in the heart of this thread.
Lonely. Need companionship.
In any second, third world country not overwrought with Victorian morals you could...hop in a taxi and go to the chicka bar(in Latino countries).

It is a fact that hookers in Brazil were charging $10usd and will marry you.
Cuzco was loaded with escorts. Euro women easily found companionship 10 years younger. Most of the guys I rode with had women of the country traveling on their machines at some point.

Man, it's just not an issue among real travelers.
Everything changes on the road and...
"On the road there are no special cases."

I always thought that it was a good idea to keep in mind that in many places I was the richest guy in the room.
Bill.
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  #58  
Old 14 Mar 2007
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The downside is....'have you *any* idea how much gear a girlie considers 'essential' for a bike trip ????'

SWMBO packed SIX pairs of shoes, a hairdyer, a travel iron, and tried to stuff her entire wardrobe in the panniers.

Suggest to her that all she needs are a few spare pairs of knickers and a credit card - if she's still willing then go for it.
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  #59  
Old 15 Mar 2007
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Bill Shockly said [QUOTE][I always thought that it was a good idea to keep in mind that in many places I was the richest guy in the room/QUOTE]
One article I read said if you have $2200 you are in the top 50% richest in the world, $60,000 top 10% and only $500,000 put you in the top 1%.

As far as this discusion on the trip, just get going, she can come visit you on different part if see wants, if you need her for the cash, then I guess she goes with you all the way.
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  #60  
Old 16 Mar 2007
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Thumbs up Whats the problem?

She goes, she stays, you go alone or take her along with you.
Right now YOU like her, she LIKES you and she WANTS to come.
As all the other Aunties have advised, things will certainly change, you and her especially. The hard decision may come in some s#%t hole in Mexico or never.
I dropped the bomb with my wife of 19 years that I wanted to "do" a trip to SE Asia in 2010.
Her bomb was bigger when she wanted to come!!!
It will make us..............20 years and 3 kids............we can start to get to know each other.
You never know.................she may be the one!!!!!
The decisions not hard to live with its the concequences
Choose wisely
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