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  #1  
Old 9 Jul 2006
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Am I going insane? “the wanderlust partner of the opposite sex” PART 2

Oh the wanderlust partner…

The long sob story (hopefully made short)… Been wanting to RTW for a while. Went to a HU meeting. Got home, told parents I was RTW, sooner than we all thought (Happy Fathers Day Dad) Told the lady friend (is girl friend a better label? We live together, etc.) I was RTWing. Here is where things got interesting.

On the way home from the HU meeting I was dreading telling her and leaving her (tears under the helmet). We talked and talked, etc. Well, she is up for a RTW trip.

She is willing to sell HER house, her car, her EVERYTHING. Leave her friends and family for this trip. She is unreal in every category and she complements me in so many ways. Could I ask for a better life partner, NO, hands down.

WE began planning for OUR RTW trip but lately doubt has set in. (Here is where my ego, my selfishness, my MAN-ly a$$hole attributes comes in.) I would love to have her in any life in any form I am fortunate enough to be blessed with. BUT, I feel I want to RTW solo. Why I don’t really know, I have just always dreamed of RTW soloing, not with a wanderlust partner. We have talked about this and there is no doubt that she can handle her own. (Wheelie if you are reading this I made her read your post in “PART 1”, she is ok for everything except brain worms she says)

So here it is: AM I GOING F*$&ING INSANE for even thinking of riding off into the sunset for years on end solo, when I have the most amazing woman I have ever meet in my life, who is willing to drop everything for this trip?

Take care
WIESE

PS: No, for who ever is about to ask you cannot have her. LOL
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  #2  
Old 9 Jul 2006
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Thumbs up dont be crazy

sorry this is my only response. Take her with you, enjoy the experiences together. She does not sound like the sort of girl that you would want to loose.

Hope u make the right decision

Ride safe

Paul
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  #3  
Old 9 Jul 2006
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Weise,

2 solutions:

Get her pregnant so she wants to stay at home;-))

Or

Do it twice. Once with and once without. You have time enough don't you?

Cheers,
John
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  #4  
Old 9 Jul 2006
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Smile

Some compromises are worth making old chap. And well, it's not really much of a compromise is it?
Matt
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*Disclaimer* - I am not saying my bike is better than your bike. I am not saying my way is better than your way. I am not mocking your religion/politics/other belief system. When reading my post imagine me sitting behind a frothing pint of ale, smiling and offering you a bag of peanuts. This is the sentiment in which my post is made. Please accept it as such!
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  #5  
Old 10 Jul 2006
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Are you some kind of a fool. Any woman that is willing to go on a RTW trip is a real prize. Most of us would kill to meet such a woman. Take her with, more then likely she will become disenchanted with the trip and want to return home, maybe before or after you do. This is not uncommon. Take the chance, you will have the trip of your life and learn more then most couple know about each other in a life time. I am very jealous!
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  #6  
Old 10 Jul 2006
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Don´t ask

Just do what your heart tells you.
If you take her with you, maybe you will break apart soon, if you leave her maybe this could be your own selfproof that you deeply love her after you come back.
Or, you could even lose a precious partner forever.

If she is still there when you´re back, she´s the one, boy!
If she is not, then nothing was lost.

It is just the infinite world of possibilities opening in front of you, congratulations. Anyway, just do it!
Check the voice of the heart, not the brain.

If you think you can or if you think you can´t, you will allways be right.
(H. Ford)

You are not going crazy, you are just starting tu build a life upon your own choices.



Good luck in your decision
Humberto
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  #7  
Old 10 Jul 2006
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I must admit, doing a solo RTW is what i imagine doing. I don't want to do it with anyone in tow.

If i took a woman, i guess the caring man in me would be concerned about her all the time. Is she to hot/cold/comfortable/uncomfortable/not feeling well etc.

I was the oldest child in my family, i came from a poor immigrant cypriot family so it was expected from me to care for both sibling and cousins (seven cousins), i was changing and cleaning kids nappies(the old terry towel ones) from the age of nine years old, burping them, warming milk,bathing giving them medication to them when they were ill and sacraficing my school holidays and socila time with my friends to babysit. Consequently i became a loner through my surrounding, by not being able to mix with my peers.

All my life i have been altruistic. It just felt natural to me. I did a lot for my ex wife including full financial support whilst she studied at university. She graduated got a career and run off with a friend of mine. Thirteen years of my prime years wasted on somebody else.

Thats all changed now, i'm forty six and i will do as i damn well please, i am financially comfortable through years of hard work, and i do what i want to do when i want to do it. All i have left to care about from my old life are my cats, i i have had them since they were kittens, there nineteen and twenty one years old and in good health at the moment. Once they have passed away i shall be gearing myself up for a solo RTW around about 2012. I want to ride without responsibilty to anyone or anything else but myself

Having said all that it does sound like a fine woman you have there. But the decision is yours. What ever you decide you must take responsibilty for your actions and have no regets for whatever you decide. I missed my wife terribly for the first few years apart and now coming up to five years later there are time when i feel low, i still do . I often wonder what she is doing now. How will you cope when your on the lonely road feeling homesick and missing your ex ?

I did a solo six thousand mile tour on my own after the divorce, riding the northern europe russia baltic states, its a lonely road out there mate and it can make you or break you, i don' think there is a middle ground. For me it made me, but it was tough.

Have you thought about a compromise. Like she rides the first leg with you through europe, and then flys home. Then maybe you can ride solo for three/six/nine months. Find somewhere nice and she can fly out to meet you, so you can have a little R&R together for a month or so, and ride and explore the surroundings of where your staying.

I am a cynical old fart now, when it comes to love, i can't even be bothered to have a relationship. But from reading your post and what you have written about her my gut instinct is to hang on to her one way or another. I wish i had now or in the past, a partner that would make the same sacrafice and commitment for me, that your partner is willing to do for you.

It is increasingly difficult in these modern times to find a decent person to share your life with, i am sure others would agree with me here, male and female alike. You must be able to strike a middle ground with your partner somewhere. A broken heart is the greatest pain i have ever had to bare, and it does affect your future relationships, your heart will heal but there always be a scar.

Good luck mate


Maverick Bubble
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  #8  
Old 10 Jul 2006
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Take her, more comfortable than a Thermarest!!
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  #9  
Old 10 Jul 2006
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Not insane...

Hmmm, interesting. I understand the issue. Solo traveling is rewarding. In many ways. Can be addicting. Everyday things happen that wouldn't happen if you where traveling in company. Things you can do, just because they don't need to discussed (Do I hear the wistle of that police man? nah, didn't hear anything. Or distract that soldier at the checkpoint for a second and ride off...)

Sharing a travel history with your partner is rewarding too, can fuel a relationship for many years... . And being home and having a partner who wend trough the same things you wand trough might be easier then getting home and finding nothing really changed.

anyway, it'll do something
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  #10  
Old 12 Jul 2006
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Doing a RTW trip is always going to be a huge endeavour and, if it were me, I'd be both excited and nervous. I wonder, having read your email, how much of your concern about taking your other half along is nervousness about doing the trip. Just a thought?!!

I've done a lot of solo travelling and its good in some ways but when things are going badly or going great (particularly the latter) it sucks! There's nothing quite like having someone to share the experience with.
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  #11  
Old 13 Jul 2006
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Being a cynical old fart and reading between the lines I suspect that you really want to be on your own ,secondly your girlfriend realises this and desperately wants to hang on to you .
It would be better to reolve this before you begin your journey ,either together or alone .

But I could be [and often am] wrong ,
Best of luck and bon voyage .

Dodger
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  #12  
Old 13 Jul 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodger
Being a cynical old fart and reading between the lines I suspect that you really want to be on your own ,secondly your girlfriend realises this and desperately wants to hang on to you .
It would be better to reolve this before you begin your journey ,either together or alone .

Dodger


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  #13  
Old 13 Jul 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodger
Being a cynical old fart and reading between the lines I suspect that you really want to be on your own ,secondly your girlfriend realises this and desperately wants to hang on to you .
It would be better to reolve this before you begin your journey ,either together or alone .

But I could be [and often am] wrong ,
Best of luck and bon voyage .

Dodger
cynics anonymous....

Does she want all your free time?
Is your privacy less than it was before?
Do you sometimes feel a bit smothered?
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  #14  
Old 13 Jul 2006
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Quote:
cynics anonymous....

Does she want all your free time?
Is your privacy less than it was before?
Do you sometimes feel a bit smothered?
No and NO and NO.

Like I said she is perfect.

I truely am going insane and affraid this is leading me to the answers.
Quote:
I suspect that you really want to be on your own
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  #15  
Old 13 Jul 2006
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I had the same problem before I left on a two year RTW ride. First she wanted to come, then she didn't. Then I had to decide if I should leave this great woman and go alone, knowing she might not be there when I got back. Well, I went and she had a lot of vacation time and frequet flyer miles saved up from work, so she came out to all the really nice spots to visit. It was tough, but she didn't leave (though she was practically packing by the time I got back).

We are getting married November 11th in Guatemala.
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