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Old 5 May 2007
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Smile Most embarrasing biking moment?

Well what's yours?

A freind of mine filling his 1200GS with Deisel last week requiring the thing to be flat-bedded back to the shop to get the tank removed and drained got me thinking about my most embarrassing biking moment.
I've sifted through inumerable incidents involving idiotic crashes, innumerable Enfield breakdowns, running out of petrol, spending half an hour trying to kick start/push start/swear and punch start a bike only to realise the kill switch was on (very early in my biking career!) but have decided it was the following.
I'd been riding round Tehran for about four hours in what felt like about 35 degrees celsius. The polis had told me I couldn't ride on the motorway, I had no GPS and so no way of knowing where I was and just ended up going round and round in circles. I was VERY tired and VERY pissed off as my massive 'been planning this trip for ten years' trip had just gone pear shaped and I was going home.
So, I was over at the side of the road, staring at my map, losing all grip of reality and I just lost my temper.

"F-U-C-K!" I shouted in my helmet. "F-U-C-K, F-F-F-F-F-F-U-U-U-U-U-U-U-C-C-C-C-C-K-K-K-K-KK-K--K!" I didn't feel any better so I tried: " F-U-C-K-I-N-G F-U-C-K!"

I had just stopped shouting this at the top of my voice when I felt a presence at my shoulder.

A quizzical looking Iranian was peering over my shoulder at my map and clearly wondering if he should call the police.

"...hello..." I said quietly and with that rode off feeling very silly...



*Disclaimer* - I am not saying my bike is better than your bike. I am not saying my way is better than your way. I am not mocking your religion/politics/other belief system. When reading my post imagine me sitting behind a frothing pint of ale, smiling and offering you a bag of peanuts. This is the sentiment in which my post is made. Please accept it as such!
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Old 6 May 2007
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I'd parked in the railway station parking lot, which was basically loose gravel. It was a huge job getting out, as the front wheel did not seem to want to steer and seemed to be creating a furrow through the gravel instead of turning freely. Took a minute to wrestle the bike towards the parking lot entrance and I was preparing to give the guy there an earful about the surface.

It was then that I noticed that the front wheel disc lock was still on.....

Fortunately the guy did not seem to have noticed
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Old 6 May 2007
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Talking My 5 minutes of shame

Entering the parking-lot of a "Hungry jack" (Australian Burger King) on a warm
day, I did not notice that the centre-line of the in/out-entrance was an
elevated (10 cm) ridge instead of a painted line.

My front-wheel took the left side of that, my rear-wheel the other side.
I was looking around for parking space, going 5 km/hour. Ofcourse this did
not go well for more then 2 seconds, then the bike went on it's side (I did not
even realize why the bike went down on it's side) leaving me
standing on two feet, with 250 Kg of Africa Twin and lugage lying down between my my feet.

As I said, it was a warm day and the terrace was filled with eating people.

To my total relieve no one had seen this "super silly crash"
happen but.... I was unable to lift the bike on my own with all the lugage and
to my total and utter shame I had to ask the people on the terace to help
To get their attention I even had to wave my arms in the air....

Lunch did not taste as good as usual.

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Old 6 May 2007
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Nice girl and a wild river

A long time ago, I was about 21 then, I had a Harley-Davidson SS250 two stroke and at the parking lot of the office I worked then, I was talking to a very nice girl from the office.
Then I wanted to ride away as the real tough biker I thought I was but forgot the lock in my front wheel........................

Very, very, very embarrassing.

Another one was even longer ago. Emberrassing, but not as bad as the one above.
I had a Yamaha RD350 that I rode from Holland to Luxembourg to the East German border, loaded with all my camping gear etc.
To get on a camping site near Kassel in Germany, I needed to cross a very narrow bridge over a small river. I had been driving all day and was very tired and in the middle of the bridge, I did something wrong and almost tipped the bike over, into the river.....
I could just hold it in its capsized position above the wild water but did not have the strenght to put it straight on it's wheels again. I had to wait a few minutes in this odd position until someone saw that I was in trouble and helped me to get the bike upright again.
Jan Krijtenburg

The bikes I ride are a Honda GoldWing GL1200 Aspencade and a 1978 Honda CB400T
http://jkrijt.home.xs4all.nl/ (my personal homepage with trip reports)
http://www.krijtenburg.nl/HU_BoZ/ (The HU Motorcycle Travellers Community in my area)
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Old 6 May 2007
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Feeling rather flush near the end of a trip through Morocco, I had stayed overnight in the best hotel in Agdz, where there was some live music played by a traditional band from out of the Atlas, I bought them all a drink.
Next morning as I was leaving, several members of the band (men and women) came outside to 'see me off'.
Needless to say, I dropped the loaded bike even before I'd moved off, but as it did so, the tankbag caught in the fly-catch of my trousers, and pulled then 1/2 way to my knees as the bike fell over.
It seemed like several minutes before anyone was able to help me lift the bike back up as they were all laughing so much.
Needless to say, it will be some time before I go back to Agdz......
Bill H
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Old 7 May 2007
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I've dropped the bike a few times and looked like a bit of an idiot but the most embarrassing bike moment was probably when some soldiers at a border post told me to go through a door to baggage check. I then rode my bike into a room full of people (no other vehicles at all) getting their bags searched, I turned round to see the soldier that gave me the directions actually kneeling on the ground because he was laughing too much. Luckily the people in the building saw this too and realised that I had been pranked, so it was pretty funny all round...
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Old 7 May 2007
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Loving driving into a customs block! Nearly as funny as having your trousers pulled down

Mine is a bit lame, but was the first week I had a 'big bike' rode into work - was loving the feeling of being the only biker in a company of 80 and loved the fact that no matter how busy the small car park got I could always find a space, when many of my work friends had to pay for the local NCP.

So anyhow, I ride into the car park, position the bike right outside the reception window, smiling at the very cute temp receptionist, and loving every moment of it - I swing my leg over the back of the bike to get off, not realising I've not put the side stand down - I end up doing a very slow fall, one leg in the air the other under the bike. Receptionist laughing so hard she can't help me, so the CEO comes out and gives me a hand!

But I kinda got my own back on the CEO... several weeks later in the same car park he did this to my bike....

YouTube - My old boss reversing into my bike

cost him rather a lot of money did that!

Watch some of my camp cooking videos

AIM: mattcashmore
SKYPE: matthewcashmore
MSN: matthew@matthewcashmore.com
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Old 7 May 2007
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I was 18 years old and had broken my collar bone while riding in the woods.
Had no choice but to ride the bike home in a humped position beacause my
right arm couldn't extend all the way to work the throttle.My friends said i was crazy for riding in my condition.Went to hospital and found out my collar bone was snapped.they send me home in a arm sling and said to take it easy.(NO BIKES)Nobody is going to tell me not to ride,so the next day i hop back on my bike and start riding around the neighbor hood so all my friends could see what a Big Shot i was.No broken bones were going to stop me.As i'm riding i see a pack of beautiful ladies i had known from school,so Mr Bigshot that i was decided to pull a wheelie up the hill.Rev it up and pop the clutch and up i go.My arm couldn't extend out so my hand got stuck on the throttle,i panic and tried to bail off the bike but my arm sling got stuck in the handle bars and the bike draged me up the hill until i came to rest in the back of a parked van.I wasn't hurt physically but lets just say the lovely ladies had a good laugh at Mr Bigshots expense..
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Old 8 May 2007
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Over enthusiastic

Haha! I am so glad to see that everyone fluffs it occassionally

I managed to on the very first day that I got my very first bike, before I had even officially left the forecourt of the dealership (hey, do it in style I say!).
I had only just got my license, and not ridden any other 'big' bike besides the 500 sports bike that I did my license on, so collecting my Dominator had my knees literally shaking. And of course there's the additional pressure of being a girl biker and trying to make sure that I didn't give the salesman any reason to roll there eyes. I made it to the forecourt exit, over a gravelly section (good girl Shells!) and up the slight left turn incline, almost making it onto the road behind a biker friend of mine who had joined me for the ride home. It would have been a perfectly flawless maneuver if not for a speedy car that had turned the hairpin at the bottom of the road, making it too tight for me to follow my mate. Thank goodness for creaping and peaking
Emergency stop (yay Yay!!) but balance all messed up because of little legs LOL... and over we went, in slow slow motion, me fighting the fall the whole way, and ever so gently putting my brand new (for me) bike down, before I had even left the dealers.
(I of course then had to be assisted into an upright position again by a mechanic who had seen my graceful skill).

Not too long after that, I met up with a fellow Hubber for a ride to the Salisbury plains. All went swimmingly for my first offroad ride, and I was very chuffed with myself. Filling up with fuel, I thought I would try a great new move to get onto the bike with luggage on it. Stood on the footpeg; front brake on; leg up and over - wooo hooo oooh o-o-h ohOH! Too much enthusiasm meant that I got up and over, and right over the other side *giggle*
I ended up pinned between my bike and the petrol pump (thank goodness I had parked up nice and close), and had to get my new friend's attention 'Ahem... could you give me a hand over here please?'

So many silly things to do, so little time
If you don't have bugs in your teeth, you haven't been grinning enough!
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Old 9 May 2007
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Not all mine

Most embarrasing moments include:

Trying to start with the kill switch, "Off", or riding off (but not far) with the fuel tap "off".

I once had a BMW K100, and they run very hot. After a fun ride home I had to filter past a long queue of traffic to cross a bridge, and the bike doesn't feel quite right. At the bridge I pull in behind one car as he pays the toll, and I can't pull away! The brake fluid has boiled, and the back brake has locked on. I have to wait for it to cool before I can move away. All the cars I passed are now stuck behind me, and there was some sort of football match on that day, so most of them were in a hurry. I was the most popular man in England that aftrnoon. I am now absolutely paranoid about the state of my brake fiud.

I later bought a Triumph Trophy 1200 (centre of gravity about 3m above the moon!) and was pulling out of a pub carpark with Mrs MarkE on the back. Car came around the bend so I stopped, but there was a pothole where I wanted to put my foot. The pothole was just deep enough that the bike went beyond what I could hold so we both went down; VERY slowly and with dignity, but still down! Of course it was a warm day, and most drinkers were in the garden watching. Indicators on the Trophy were designed to finance Triumph's investment plans; they always break, and they are very uncheap.

A girlfriend bought a Suzuki GS125 to learn on (great little bike), and wanted to take me out on the back. We arrived at our destination OK & I ask if she's got the bike. "Yes" says she, so I stand up and get off. The bike's suspension extends some more and catches her out (she was rather short). I've turned away by now, so when I notice she's going over, it's too late for me to help. She probably still blames me.

I read the following, but it was in a reliable source:

There used to be a paper mill in Reading that sent newsprint to most of the country's newspapers in the form of huge rolls. Apparently one day a truck was sent out without the load being properly secured, and some poor sod was waiting on a bike at the first set of traffic lights after the mill. As the truck turned, the roll of paper rolled off the wagon. How did that motorcyclist feel as the world's biggest bog roll came toward him?

And finally, is there any evidence for the large footed copper who got tangled with his Avon fairing and couldn't get his foot down in time? I have severe doubts, but it is an appealing picture!

Last edited by MarkE; 9 May 2007 at 14:38. Reason: I can't spell!
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Old 9 May 2007
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Another one of someone else's

I almost forgot:

My friendly neighbourhood tyre shop has a nice map on the wall, showing where people fell off on new tyres. The record belongs to a Fireblade rider who made it 1 meter from the front door! Seeing the map, and not wanting to appear on it, is a great aid to treating new tyres gently.
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Old 10 May 2007
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too many to list....

Parked my bike (newish CB400 at the time) among the heaps of bikes parked alongside the Sydney Institute of Technology (as it was then called). I'd been riding for less than a year and was not particularly great as a rider but fancied myself as a mechanic. Returned to the bike late in the afternoon to find I couldn't start it. Looking rather Brando-esque in front of the uni-chicks with my leather jacket and greasy hands I proceeded to pull the fuel hoses off, unclip the side cover and start removing wires, fuses, spark plugs etc in my search for the fault (of course, I didn't have a clue what I was doing). I saw the small sticker on the tank (which my bike didn't have) at the same time as I realised I could get the key in the ignition but it wouldn't turn. It wasn't my bike! Luckily the owner didn't return while I was polishing the grease-marks off the paintwork.

I had a red postie bike (Honda 110cc) once which I dropped at the lights when my shoelace got caught on the gear lever and I couldn't get my foot down in time. That was embarrassing. Then there was the time me and a few mates, while drunk, rode our bikes nude through the campus and security called the cops... But then you don't really need to hear all my stories.

Speaking of university bike stories though...the parking cop on our campus was a real ***** who rode around on one of those 50cc step-throughs. He returned to where his bike was parked one time (after, no doubt, booking some impoverished student) to find his bike missing. It had been kidnapped! Ransom notices went out over the next week and parts of the bike were sent to the Vice-Chancellor's office to show the kidnappers were serious. The bike was returned and the kidnappers were busted. The parking cop wanted to press charges until the student union threatened a march (great excuse for a piss-up, every student would have been there). He was the laughing stock of the place for months.
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Old 10 May 2007
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I was trail riding a TTR 250 in the Pyrenees near Sallagouse (in March - Not reccommended!) a few years ago...

- coming round a corner a bit quick I see a fence across the trail - with a cattle grid and (what looked like) an open area next to it to ride through - the cattle grid looked dodgy - very wide gaps and rickety - so aiming for the gap i blat the throttle a bit - admiring the view down the valley I look round too late - to see a fine mesh fence across what i thought was the gap.

I put the bike down on its side hard - but i keep going - over the bike and end up stuffed into the fence 'Great Escape' stylee.....

obviously the first thing i do is look around to make sure no one else has seen me cream in - at that point i hear some laughing on the hill above me - I look up to see about 8 French ramblers having there lunch.....DOH !

'09 Suzuki DR650
'00 Discovery Series 2 V8
'95 Defender 90 300 Tdi Overlander
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Old 9 Sep 2007
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Red face i know it's an old thread but.........

Having just purchased a very very shiny ( 4 years ago, since sold it) XV1600 Wildstar with a Kuryakyn Hypercharger and straight through vance and Hines Megga Loud pipes i went out for a pose........like ya do......
Well i was so interested in making a good impression to the gorgeous little brunette with the long hair and the miniskirt filling up her little convertible that I forgot to put the side stand down when I pulled up for petrol.
OOPS........CRASH!!!!!! very heavy bike, although i am 6'2" and weighed 22 stone it took some lifting I can tell you! I was so red faced and to make matters worse the little brunette nearly wet herself laughing at me.....

I didn't bother to fill up. I just started the bike and fled the scene riding like a teenager on a stolen bike........

to make matters worse.... much worse..... my mate Andy introduced me to his new girlfriend a week later........ Guess who it was?????? yep, It was HER!!!
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Old 17 Sep 2007
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Drag strip

Burn out

1,000+ audience

Numpty at the controls (me)

Brain fade

Release front brake mid burnout

Shoot forward at speed


Hang head in shame to roar of approval from audience

Friends unable to take pics due to tears of laughter
My photos: www.possu.smugmug.com
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