I always want what I haven't got
When I travel with Mrs MarkE I sometimes wish I was alone if I just want to stop and enjoy the peace, or if I want to make a detour to see something that she might not think worth the extra miles, or if the road would be more fun riden solo, or if something goes wrong (if I must worry, I'd prefer to only have me to worry about). I also need a lot of my own space; with one wife and two daughters I need to get away from female company sometimes! I'm grateful for her understanding and trust when I do this, especially as she knows the circumstances of my divorce.
When I travel alone I seldom miss Mrs MarkE until I get back. I find it easier to say "do you remember seeing..." than "while I was away I saw...". A favourite part of a long term relationship is sitting by the fire on a cold winter's night reminiscing.
The best arrangement for us
is to travel together if the shared experience is likely to be a big part of the trip, and solo if it's not (and yes, I do plan a few solo trips just to be alone). For the big trip we're planning (dreaming?), we will go together because there will be too many experiences, and we would be apart for too long. This will make it different to what it would be if I went alone, but we'll never know if it is better or worse because we'll have no comparrison.
Talk about what you want; if you want to be alone try to explain why, ask what she might want if you get to travel (bribery is a nasty word, but a very effective strategy); confront her fears (are you a womaniser, or just a pushover?). If you come back with "a head full of tales" you will be a different person, but is that better or worse than staying home with " a head full of bitterness and resentment"?
Last edited by MarkE; 23 Jul 2007 at 15:48.
Reason: I really should learn to spell!