Ted - just picked up on this as I've been traveling in the US for the last month - with my wife! Presumably by now you've told your gf of your Yukon idea and been happily surprised by her response / recovered from your injuries. I'm really posting because this dilemma has been something that I've struggled with since the early 70's when I first started bike traveling and it's still a problem.

Only you will know deep down how you feel about her and the trip you're planning is more important than the relationship. There are, as other posters have said, many other pebbles on the beach but only you can decide whether a beach holiday is what you're looking for. If the relationship is really important to you at an emotional level then be very careful; I broke up with someone in the mid 70's because of the fallout over a bike trip (one that she came on!) and I miss her to this day. It affected just about every subsequent relationship including my first marriage and the trip was definitely not worth the decades of emotional trauma that followed.

When I met my current wife I was determined not to make the same mistake and I've been very careful to try and balance things out. Trips are usually planned several years in advance and even then have been canceled at the last minute because of family problems or (her) work pressure. I couldn't justify going off for a couple of months when she's working 12-13hr days and looking after the kids as well. For me this relationship definitely comes first. As they say though your mileage may vary; just be certain that you know what's most important to you.

Hey everyone,

I was looking through the forum and stumbled across this one so figured I would tell my story. In every sense of the word, I gave up the bird in my hand for the one in the bush. I've always loved traveling and have been on the go every chance I got. For years I've dreamed of traveling world, but when it became financially possible I became obsessed with it. A month here or there didn't cut it anymore. So a year ago I decided to sell my company and liquidate everything I owned to travel the world indefinitely. Which consequently ended a relationship of 4 years which was leading to marriage, bigger house, kids, and all the material things we could've ever wanted. I wanted her to come with me and still do, but she wants a "normal life". I'm not ready to settle down and not sure about kids. I left her once before last year for a month and it almost ended us then. This has been nearly the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I am still in love with her and it hurts. I gave up one life to pursue another and I'm at peace with that. I know there's something out there waiting for me and I intend to find it.

Selling my company and turning my assets into cash proved to be more time consuming and stressful than I originally imagined but now that it's done, it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted. I'm starting my 7 continent RWT in October. All I have so far is a one way to Bangkok, a few visas, full bank account and an open mind. My entire life has revolved around money, making it, spending it, keeping it and making more. It feels incredibly liberating to be rid of all the materiel possessions and financial obligations that were weighing me down.

I just wanted to share my story and say that alot of people give up everything they've every known to experience the unknown. The worst that can happen is you start over again with nothing, tough but not impossible. Keep your head up man and look forward to an exciting future. Happy travels!

John

So........ What was the answer ?????

It was met with a rolling of the eyes with that expression only a woman can give which means "You must be having a laugh sunshine" and I think she thought I was only extracting the Urine.

I pressed it a little further and she definitely is not pleased but now I have to go back packing in South East Asia with all the "gap yaah" monkeys with her too..

So it looks like I'm off backpacking in Jan 2013 for a few months before I'm allowed to go anywhere. It's not a bad compromise I grant you, but I didn't want to wait that long for my freedom.

Maybe I should just grow roots for a while and save a lovely wedge so I can travel even longer afterwards.... hmmmmmmmm

I might go mad before then though..

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

You could, of course, hire a bike mid-backpack and meet up further up the trail......................

Something I would do, but she most definitely wouldn't let me abandon her in "scary Asia".

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

Ted,

I praise your decision. Life is in a couple is a compromise, it's "US", not just "me".

Take her to Khaosan Rd in Bangkok, so she has enough of the gap year monkeys (I like that term, I call them "mamarrachos": worked-out, tattooed badboy-wannabes wearing no sleeved t-shirts and white-rimmed or mirrored aviator sunglasses).

Then full-moon party and she will probably be pissed of (never been myself, though). Some days on the beach to breath you as well, and then head north to Chiang Mai and rent a (2-up big) bike to take her to the twists in some national park, visiting rainforest, waterfalls and the like, so she feels the contrast and understands what you love. Not yet ready? Slow boat following the Mekong to Luang Prabang, tons of calm and nature. Then maybe you could get XR Bajas in Laos! It will probably be something progressive, find patience (don't insist too much, my fault).

Wish you great fun, as a couple it will sure be nice. Enjoy seeing how she reacts to things new for her.

Just having read this thread couple of thoughts :
Did she know about your wanderlust at start of relationship ? if yes whats the beef ?
Be very wary of women who think you need to change , unless you can be honest with yourself and know there may be some things you need to address
If she means that much to you you dont have to ponder the question her or travel !
There are plenty of girls /partners who would want to travel !
You need to take into a/c that there is a biological clock running a lot faster for females , and you can travel when you are older you dont sieze up when you are 40! (well not in most cases) .
Bike travel is far more dangerous than in a 4x4 . so if they care about you
they are suffering a lot of stress why you are relieving yours !
The big word in relationships that matter is COMPROMISE

You can get even more enjoyment ( perhaps debatable in some situations) travelling with your missus and kids and opening their eyes to the wonders of the world that you already are aware of and that drives you
its the best education that you can give your kids .

If your lucky they might lug you around later in life
JMHO

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Current : 2007 Mowag Bucher Duro 6x6 Motorhome , 2006 Sedici 4x4, 2007 Range Rover supercharged

I think we've worked it out..

In March 2012 we're are going to set out together for a 12 months trip....


But.............By Car/Camper.......


It's not something I'm overly happy about but it will be a new experience for me to travel on four wheels. There was just no way she would be happy with one pannier for all her shoes, knickers and accessories

She's going to sell her car (worth £6k) and save hard.

Maybe I can smuggle a small dirt bike on the roof ??????

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Touring Ted* I think she's worked it out.

Fixed

Regards, Miguel

hahah Mick... So true isn't it.

__________________
Did some trips.
Rode some bikes.
Fix them for a living.
Can't say anymore.

Ted and the rest of us, Just remember one thing; We can NEVER win, and even being on our best behaviour, we would be lucky to even get a draw!

__________________
'He who laughs last, was too slow to get the joke'
Never confuse the map with the journey.

Not alone, welcome to the club!
I'd get a cheap French farmer's car: easy to fix, cost nothing and are great fun (having a worse car than the locals definitely help to meet people! RHD 2CV, doesn't it look great?).

IMO, a campervan may be to much for a relation in some cases, since you may spend way too much time together. And are more expensive, so harder to leave behind if necessary. Now you'll have to survive the trip together as well.

Destination chosen?

Couldn't be summoned any better...

Dialogue:
- Me: I wanted to ride 2 bikes through Africa, but she didn’t, so had to find a compromise: we ended up driving a car to Asia.
- Friend: So, what’s her compromise?
- Me: Coming.

NB: We drove the car she and her 3 sisters learnt to drive with…

"I know I'm selfish but this is who I am and this is what I do ! Is it fair to just expect her to put up with me ? I would hate to have to decide between travel and my girlfriend."


and yet that is exactly what you must do. You can be an adventurer, or family man--rarely both