Go Back   Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB > All Miscellaneous questions > Travellers' questions that don't fit anywhere else
Travellers' questions that don't fit anywhere else This is an opportunity to ask any question, and post any notice you wish that doesn't fit into one of the other sections.
Photo by Daniel Rintz, Himba children, Namibia

The only impossible journey
is the one
you never begin

Photo by Daniel Rintz,
Himba children, Namibia



Like Tree49Likes

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 26 May 2014
sander.en.marianne's Avatar
Registered Users
New on the HUBB
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
How to fight depression?

Since a holiday with my parents to visit family in Botswana (about 25 years ago) I've been dreaming of travelling the world.
But what started as a dream is now slipping through my fingers like the diarrhea I had in Morocco..

Life hadn't been exactly easy for me for the last 9 years.
I had a motorcycle accident in 2004.
Was fired the year after because I needed surgery.
Cheated on my former girlfriend in 2007, because our relationship was missing that extra something.
Turned out she'd been sexually abused by her stepbrother as a 4 year old.
The same year her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer.
We (or at least I) tried to cling on to a relationship that wasn't working anymore, 3 years after the breakup was inevitable.
It all had a serious impact on my performance at work, so I got fired again.

At that point I decided it was enough and that I was going to do this motorbike world trip thing.
So last year Marianne and I finally took off on what should have been the biggest achievement in my life.

The plan was to circumnavigate the world in about three years, starting with Africa. West side down,
east side up. We got to Jo'burg. Where we found out the bikes weren't good anymore to finish our trip.
So in December we flew back 'home', bought two 'new' bikes (R100GS) prepared them for the rest of the journey.
And since the the 30th of March we are on the road again. And although it always had been my dream to do it on
a R100GS, I'm NOT enjoying!!! In fact I'm not enjoying riding anymore...
In Albania, while offroading Marianne tumbled of her bike pretty hard. So we went back to Germany, to get some new gear.
Since then we have been pretty unlucky with weather conditions. Bad luck with our visas. Everything seems to be falling apart (tent, boots, etc).
The tar roads in Turkey were boring us. So we recently tried some offroading in Georgia. We had to turn back (once again)
because road conditions were pretty bad, and taking a beating at Marianne's stamina. I almost skidded of the road into a river.
Which got me thinking what the HELL am I doing???

Riding a motorbike always had been my way of clearing my mind, let everything pass by. But now I'm only thinking about how
f**kep up my life is. That I haven't accomplished anything. Also life on the road is getting hard on me.
I'm annoyed by pretty much everything. The careless driving of people. Even though I'm depressed, I sure don't
wanna be killed because of their recklessness. Too many people on this planet, f**king it up at a serious pace.
etc. etc. I've never been very social but notice I'm avoiding contact and conversations...

Right now (after just two months of riding) we are taking a break. Staying on Thassos for a short holiday.
Trying to enjoy, the weather, food, etc. And also decide whether we should continue our not.
But frankly I don't see the point.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 26 May 2014
Gold Member
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 619
Depression.

Hi, I don't know how to solve depression. It is hellish though.
Years ago I was told by someone to stop when you have a problem or situation that seems disastrous. Ask yourself, "Does this problem threaten my life?"
If the answer to that is no, then it is not a really bad problem and you'll laugh about it in years to come.

Beyond that I'd say take care of a relationship. Problems shared are problems halved. Or take a different perspective or view and maybe they're not problems at all.
Finally, helping other, really poor and deprived people can help change your depressive view.

An old Scottish saying, "Smile, things could be worse. So I smiled and you know what? They GOT worse!" He he, Lindsay.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 26 May 2014
Registered Users
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Boulder, CO, USA
Posts: 182
I understand the feeling. I've been on the road 3 years and have hit low points deeper, darker and more depressing than I ever could have imagined possible. Yet I've always gotten through it, usually with the love and acceptance of a complete stranger. Here are a few random thoughts, perhaps you can pull something out that will help you. If you want some more detail, just let me know.

Traveling with someone is very hard. I've seen travel end many relationships. I have seen only a small handful of people travel together more than 6 months who are still happy with it. A friend of mine once said that a day of travel is as intense as a week of living together or an entire month of dating!

Travel changes a person. A lot. Yet accepting that I have changed is sometimes difficult and it has caused me to give myself a lot of grief over the years. This is part of why travel is so hard on relationships as each person is changing in different ways that are not always compatible.

It was hard to let go of my old dreams and accept new dreams.

Any time I feel depressed, angry or frustrated about travel I now know it is time that something must change.

In my experience, everyone traveling for a long period of time goes through the exact same pattern in adjusting to travel. There specific times when everyone traveling either changes how they travel (or who they are) or stops traveling. Common symptoms include: Depression, homesickness, and/or a temporary loss of interest in travel. Those transitions happen every 3-6 months. It seems to take a minimum of 1.5 years for all of them to complete. Not a lot of people last that long, which is fine! Traveling the world for years at a time isn't something everyone enjoys, even those of us who have dreamed of doing so!

Good luck, whatever happens!
__________________
Traveling The World Since: 2011
Blog: The Seductive Life (General Travel)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 26 May 2014
Registered Users
HUBB regular
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 79
Hello,

you can try to get more relaxed making Yoga and meditation.Enjoy the moment.Forget the past and dont worry about the future.And of course an healthy lifestyle with good food without and make sport.If this does not work talk with an doctor.Maybe this can be usefull.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nwwKbM_vJc

Mike
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 26 May 2014
Registered User
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 377
Get over it and get on with it!

Most people have had hurdles to get over! You are riding, many cant and have far worse issues to deal with! Just think how fortunate you are, look on the bright side of life, take in the surroundings and think again just how fortunate you are to be out there and doing it, harden up and deal with it!

Last edited by Drwnite; 27 May 2014 at 06:23.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 27 May 2014
Registered Users
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Oxford UK
Posts: 2,102
You have my sympathy. I went through a similar experience decades ago, although not on quite such a grand scale as you, and it still affects me now. The one thing I recognised (afterwards, as always) is that you can't ride away from your troubles.

I don't want to come over all pop psychologist with this but I think you need to take some time to take stock. At least you seem to be in a half decent part of the world atm to just kick back and try to think things through. Only you know the totality of your situation - home life, commitments, money etc, but assuming none of those are critical you need to work out what is important to you- and it doesn't need to be the bike trip. Just going through the motions with that while your mind is elsewhere is really not a good idea. As others have said it's stressfull in its own right and forcing yourself to ride and dealing with all the hassle that life on the road involves is just adding fuel to the fire.

I doubt (I couldn't) you'll be able to work out the best way forward on your own without the passage of a considerable period of time (possibly years) so Marianne is going to be a crucial part of trying to work out why you feel the way you do. You need to get some open discussions going between the two of you and be honest with each other.

I know how hard it must have been to come on here and write what you did when everyone else seems to be heading off somewhere in a blaze of enthusiasm and high spirits. Good luck with it all and I hope you come to a decision and a course of action that makes you happy.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 27 May 2014
Endurodude's Avatar
Registered Users
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Middle England, UK
Posts: 457
Quote:
Originally Posted by backofbeyond View Post
You have my sympathy. The one thing I recognised (afterwards, as always) is that you can't ride away from your troubles.
I would echo this sentiment. I've known several people with whom I've worked (I would possibly include myself here) who have moved jobs trying to find a positive change in their lives, only to transport their 'baggage' from A to B. Deal with your feelings first, if you can, and then carry on; otherwise it's a papering over the cracks situation. When riding, as many have said, there's a lot of time to sit and think. It would be far better to have dealt with any issues, if possible, so that you can get back to enjoying a ride many people can't undertake.

All the best.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 28 May 2014
Registered Users
HUBB regular
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Piraeus
Posts: 53
Butt some's times things going well..Why?Because if you come over here, (Athens)you more than welcome to host you, Marianna and the 2 old ladies )

And Sander, enjoy you trip my friend... The problems are endless in our lifes..We need just to havethe courage to solve them.



Someone who spent a lot of summer in Thassos
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 29 May 2014
sander.en.marianne's Avatar
Registered Users
New on the HUBB
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Thanks for all the replies... I'll filter those things that I think could be useful for me. Right now after a week of Thassos I feel a little better. Enjoyed doing something completely different (or should I say nothing at all). The weather has been nice and the food was nice aswell.
However I'm still not super enthusiastic about riding again. We will however set course back 'home'. Taking some scenic routes through Italy (Amalfi coast, Stelvio). Maybe that will bring back some fun. If it does we might head east, to Mongolia. If not we'll just go home and figure out what's wrong with me...

@Gallos, thanks for the offer. But it looks like we're heading north. I also doubt a big city will improve my state of mind (in general I don't like big cities).
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 29 May 2014
Registered Users
HUBB regular
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Piraeus
Posts: 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander.en.marianne View Post

@Gallos, thanks for the offer. But it looks like we're heading north. I also doubt a big city will improve my state of mind (in general I don't like big cities).
No prob....enjoy the rest of your trip...The offer is valable also for next time
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 29 May 2014
Donmanolo's Avatar
Registered Users
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mainly Slovenia
Posts: 370
Quote:
Originally Posted by sander.en.marianne View Post
I also doubt a big city will improve my state of mind (in general I don't like big cities).

You have my support and positive feelings too. Can I just risk making myself unpopular among any (other) Italians around here and suggest that you skip the amalfi coast and most of Italy in general ? Sure , it's beautiful, but you risk landing up in a particularly crowded hot and unmanageable place and maybe being right in the middle of the tourist trail isn't really what you need right now.
If mountains and scenery are what you want to see then of course the Stelvio pass and DOlomites further north are probably exactly what you need. Might be best to get there crossing the Balkans though, where people are friendly, food and accomodation are great and dirt cheap, and there's no lack of nice scenery.
If you follow my advice then feel free to PM me, I'd be happy to help out in any way I can.
All the best.

Antonio.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 29 May 2014
Registered Users
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Oxford UK
Posts: 2,102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Donmanolo View Post
Can I suggest that you skip the amalfi coast

Antonio.
Such a scenic drive but hot, crowded, and gridlocked when I was there a few years ago. Had an off day and managed to scrape both sides of the rental car trying to get past a stationary coach on one particularly narrow part of the road. Not a ride I'd suggest if you're feeling a bit down. It's justifiably famous but a victim of its own success.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 29 May 2014
sander.en.marianne's Avatar
Registered Users
New on the HUBB
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 10
Due to Marianne seriously dropping her bike in Albania, we've been down and up the Balkans, 3 times this trip. Besides we also read they almost flushed away. So we were looking for some alternatives to get back home. As we mostly skipped Greece on our way to Turkey, it just makes so much sense to do a little trip in Greece and take a ferry to Italy. Besides we are meeting with a friend who is doing Stelvio and Dolomites...
What worries me the most that Marianne planned to visit the leaning tower of Pisa and Rome just for a picture of the Colosseum. I already told her I don't think that really is a good idea. Maybe the crazy driving Italians will have her convinced by the time we get there.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 29 May 2014
Gold Member
HUBB regular
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 78
I had a friend who was really feeling down after having done a circumnavigation on a sailboat. I took him to lunch one day and had an Air1 station on in the car. We had a great lunch and each went on our way. He called me up about a week later and said that he had been listening to Air1.com on the internet and that it made him feel very happy and that he was pumped to go on a new adventure. Last time I talked to him, he was on a world tour working as a chef in as many countries as he could to really learn all of the regional food tastes. He was in Hong Kong about three months ago last time he called.
__________________
Submariner
Life Member DAV
BMW MOA member
BMW Riders of Oklahoma
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 30 May 2014
Titbird's Avatar
Contributing Member
Veteran HUBBer
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Back in Europe
Posts: 181
I'm also fighting depression while on the road. Mainly because for me it get's lonely sometimes. Every day I have to remind myself how privileged and lucky I am, sometimes that works, many times it doesn't. Many times I wonder why I'm doing this, if it brings me no joy. But like Othalan said, we all struggle at some point if you're on the road for a longer time. Luckily there are the truly magic moments too, that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
But why don't you come down to Kalamata for the Greek HUBB meeting next weekend, after that I'm also on the ferry to Italy.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 Registered Users and/or Members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Danakil Depression - Ethiopia Eef_and_Dries sub-Saharan Africa 6 30 May 2013 09:24
Danakil Depression Eef_and_Dries Travellers Seeking Travellers 0 4 Apr 2013 10:10
Ball joint removal - The Fight nomadic Equipping the Overland Vehicle 2 4 Sep 2012 07:17
fight the northen Thai seasonal burnings! mamos West and South Asia 0 18 Mar 2012 13:48
Danakil Depression, Ethiopia roamingyak sub-Saharan Africa 1 19 Jan 2012 01:04

 
 

Announcements

Thinking about traveling? Not sure about the whole thing? Watch the HU Achievable Dream Video Trailers and then get ALL the information you need to get inspired and learn how to travel anywhere in the world!

Have YOU ever wondered who has ridden around the world? We did too - and now here's the list of Circumnavigators!
Check it out now
, and add your information if we didn't find you.

Next HU Eventscalendar

HU Event and other updates on the HUBB Forum "Traveller's Advisories" thread.
ALL Dates subject to change.

2024:

Add yourself to the Updates List for each event!

Questions about an event? Ask here

HUBBUK: info

See all event details

 
World's most listened to Adventure Motorbike Show!
Check the RAW segments; Grant, your HU host is on every month!
Episodes below to listen to while you, err, pretend to do something or other...

2020 Edition of Chris Scott's Adventure Motorcycling Handbook.

2020 Edition of Chris Scott's Adventure Motorcycling Handbook.

"Ultimate global guide for red-blooded bikers planning overseas exploration. Covers choice & preparation of best bike, shipping overseas, baggage design, riding techniques, travel health, visas, documentation, safety and useful addresses." Recommended. (Grant)



Ripcord Rescue Travel Insurance.

Ripcord Rescue Travel Insurance™ combines into a single integrated program the best evacuation and rescue with the premier travel insurance coverages designed for adventurers.

Led by special operations veterans, Stanford Medicine affiliated physicians, paramedics and other travel experts, Ripcord is perfect for adventure seekers, climbers, skiers, sports enthusiasts, hunters, international travelers, humanitarian efforts, expeditions and more.

Ripcord travel protection is now available for ALL nationalities, and travel is covered on motorcycles of all sizes!


 

What others say about HU...

"This site is the BIBLE for international bike travelers." Greg, Australia

"Thank you! The web site, The travels, The insight, The inspiration, Everything, just thanks." Colin, UK

"My friend and I are planning a trip from Singapore to England... We found (the HU) site invaluable as an aid to planning and have based a lot of our purchases (bikes, riding gear, etc.) on what we have learned from this site." Phil, Australia

"I for one always had an adventurous spirit, but you and Susan lit the fire for my trip and I'll be forever grateful for what you two do to inspire others to just do it." Brent, USA

"Your website is a mecca of valuable information and the (video) series is informative, entertaining, and inspiring!" Jennifer, Canada

"Your worldwide organisation and events are the Go To places to for all serious touring and aspiring touring bikers." Trevor, South Africa

"This is the answer to all my questions." Haydn, Australia

"Keep going the excellent work you are doing for Horizons Unlimited - I love it!" Thomas, Germany

Lots more comments here!



Five books by Graham Field!

Diaries of a compulsive traveller
by Graham Field
Book, eBook, Audiobook

"A compelling, honest, inspiring and entertaining writing style with a built-in feel-good factor" Get them NOW from the authors' website and Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, Amazon.co.uk.



Back Road Map Books and Backroad GPS Maps for all of Canada - a must have!

New to Horizons Unlimited?

New to motorcycle travelling? New to the HU site? Confused? Too many options? It's really very simple - just 4 easy steps!

Horizons Unlimited was founded in 1997 by Grant and Susan Johnson following their journey around the world on a BMW R80G/S.

Susan and Grant Johnson Read more about Grant & Susan's story

Membership - help keep us going!

Horizons Unlimited is not a big multi-national company, just two people who love motorcycle travel and have grown what started as a hobby in 1997 into a full time job (usually 8-10 hours per day and 7 days a week) and a labour of love. To keep it going and a roof over our heads, we run events all over the world with the help of volunteers; we sell inspirational and informative DVDs; we have a few selected advertisers; and we make a small amount from memberships.

You don't have to be a Member to come to an HU meeting, access the website, or ask questions on the HUBB. What you get for your membership contribution is our sincere gratitude, good karma and knowing that you're helping to keep the motorcycle travel dream alive. Contributing Members and Gold Members do get additional features on the HUBB. Here's a list of all the Member benefits on the HUBB.




All times are GMT +1. The time now is 08:34.