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Travellers' questions that don't fit anywhere else This is an opportunity to ask any question, and post any notice you wish that doesn't fit into one of the other sections.
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  #1  
Old 11 Mar 2010
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Cross roads which way to go?

I run the risk of this making myself sound really bad, but I wanted to put it out there to see if any ones, had the same thoughts or thinking.
I find my self at what I feel is a crossroads of life.
My story, 37 years old, no children, divorced, worked hard had my own business, had cars, bikes, holidays, house, then lost the lot. and ended up back at home. started to rebuild my life. then I got left a family house and some cash, which made life easier.
Now I've been on a few solo 1 month bike trips, and really have the bug to do a big trip. couple of years maybe?
But I now also have a new woman in my life who I love, and wants to build a new life with me, house family etc.
But I still cannot get the thoughts of a big trip out of my head, and feel this is my last chance of doing this.
Is it really wrong to be thinking like this, are bike travelers a lonely breed of single guys with no life or home?
Has anyone ever given up a partner to travel?
If I don't go, will it be something I will always regret
I know there are no right or wrong answers to this and it's really up to me?
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  #2  
Old 11 Mar 2010
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2 bikes and a trip for 2 would be an easy answer
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  #3  
Old 11 Mar 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Milimut1 View Post
2 bikes and a trip for 2 would be an easy answer
got to agree with that the right person will make the effort to do the trip with you and then you can make the effort to settle afterwards or something like that
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  #4  
Old 11 Mar 2010
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Do Both

Your story sounds a bit like mine, I’m 45, bankrupt, and living at home, trying to rebuild my life for the last couple of years. I NEVER want another woman as long as I live!! I’m happy, alone, and single for the last 12 years! I’d never in a million years put a female before a trip, any trip, even a trip to the corner shop! But that’s just me.

If your sure you’ve found the right person then, as the other two posters have said, do both! Have a trip you can both look back on, that you both enjoyed! Sounds like a nice way for starting over – good luck
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  #5  
Old 12 Mar 2010
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Originally Posted by Milimut1 View Post
2 bikes and a trip for 2 would be an easy answer
Sadly not a option. She's really not that type of girl.
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  #6  
Old 12 Mar 2010
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Originally Posted by insainwayne View Post
If I don't go, will it be something I will always regret
I know there are no right or wrong answers to this and it's really up to me?

That is not a yes/no answer.

You will either regret it and hold that against your partner as a result (be it from a minor niggle, to resentful accusation.), or you will wistfully think about it but decide that if the opportunity came up, you'd rather have this lady in your life.

Now for some further considerations.

A long trip can be 3 months to 30 years and everything in between.

A long trip can be done in stages, and taking both those facts into account, are you so sure that she would not be there if you went for 3 months or so every couple of years or so?

If it is that important to you, I'd hope she would understand and support you. Finally, as someone said, perhaps she'd love the chance to do the same.

Bike overlanding is great, but there are other ways of travelling, too...
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  #7  
Old 12 Mar 2010
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Whilst me story isn't the same, it has some similarities,

I want to, and do travel on the bike, and I have a wonderfull wife and a daughter. My wife is OK with me traveling as she wouldn't want me to change (after all she married me as I am, and is one of those few women who isn't spending every waking momment trying to alter me!!), it is who I am and she never objects. She does have worries about me being out there alone, and I accept that I have to apease her at times.

The thing is, it's a two way street, I could drop everything (the life, mortgage, family life) and take off RTW without too much thought, but as much as my wife is OK with me doing these things, I have to show the same level of commitment back, and use restraint in my trips.

I also make sure that the balance is redressed by treating her to weekends away, funding trips away in the sun and stuff like that. We have a sort of balanced life that allows me freedome to do what I want, freedome to do what she wants and a commitment to do things together. I guess you can't have it all ways.

You can't have your cake and eat it, but you can nibble a bit now and then!



Something to consider, Lois Pryce met Austen while she was prepairing to travel the PanAmerican Highway, she's also rode to Cape Town (alone) so these things can work out, if you have the right relashionship.

Then again, Dan Walsh had a bit of a hard time when his relationship went sour while he was on a road trip.
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Old 12 Mar 2010
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It isn't an either-or proposition. If you are serious about the trip, do it. If the relationship is meant to last, a few months or a year away while you travel won't do anything to stop it.
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  #9  
Old 12 Mar 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by insainwayne View Post
Sadly not a option. She's really not that type of girl.
"not that type of girl" ?

Yea, I guess most of those shanky biker chicks are pretty slutty, eh?

This does not sound good my friend! If she is already showing signs of being anti-biking then bubba, you are screwed. Next thing you know you'll be on your 2nd kid, have a mortgage, tons of unpaid bills. Then she'll gain 30 kgs. and sit at home all day and bitch you out while you work yourself to death. Did you not learn anything after your 1st divorce?

Sadly, this is how most women end up and it's what most of them want. The Lois Pryce's of this world are rare ..... once they enter their mid 30's they have a strong instinct to "nest", settle and breed. Your RTW biking adventure will not blend well with those aspirations, IMHO.

If you really want to "test" your relationship, go traveling together. By bike, train, car, doesn't matter. Camping, hostels, hotels, all OK. See how things go after a month or so. Try to get out of the UK. Someplace really "foreign", like Ireland! If you get along during that month then perhaps you've got a chance? Or maybe she is just angling for your house?
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  #10  
Old 13 Mar 2010
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What do you actually feel like doing? Perhaps do what Mickey D suggests, but on your own - just to find out.
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Last edited by teflon; 13 Mar 2010 at 11:17.
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  #11  
Old 13 Mar 2010
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Yes Wayne, it's up to you. We're all different, and few of us have the opportunity to sate all urges, so you have to decide where your compromises lay.

Best of luck.
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  #12  
Old 13 Mar 2010
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You can go on your trip, two years would be about right.
When you come home she will be waiting for you.

Then you can help the guy she has been living with set up the bike for his two year trip.

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Old 13 Mar 2010
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It's good to share.
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  #14  
Old 14 Mar 2010
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Originally Posted by John Ferris View Post
You can go on your trip, two years would be about right.
When you come home she will be waiting for you.

Then you can help the guy she has been living with set up the bike for his two year trip.



Great stuff Ferris. There is a comedy team in LA missing a writer, you could be the one!
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  #15  
Old 14 Mar 2010
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Blimey!!"

Quips aside, there seems to be quite a lot of cynicism about "other halves"!!

Maybe I'm one of the lucky few and I must say that my partner nejoys overlanding too, but on the whole I wouldn't have it any other way.....
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