Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB

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-   -   Am I selfish? (http://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/travellers-questions-dont-fit-anywhere/am-i-selfish-58111)

Cysne 8 Jul 2011 20:41

Am I selfish?
 
Hello all, thanks for ready.

It's a question that's floating around my head, I'm 20 and have been saving money since I started working, by the time I hit my 21st birthday, I should have around £15k ready (+5k worth of car to sell). (Yes I've lived like a hermit)

I've just come out a long relationship due to my wish for a big trip, I've been given a good chance for a very good job for my age from my father (Which i've excelled at and now got the full time gig) but all I have at the back of my head, all I want is April next year is to just go, escape do my trip. Get on my bike and just go.

However, I just feel really selfish, to my parents, they've gave me much, it's not just the feeling of selfishness. I feel like i'm going to disappointing a hell of alot of people doing a trip like this.

The thing is, I know it's what I want to do, i've saved for ages, cut out things out of my life and do 12 hour days at work atleast 4 days a week. I don't really enjoy other things, just this focus, fixation.

Should I just hit on the road and hope people come round to the idea?

It feels like im between a rock and a hard place. How do I get round this feeling?

Any ideas, opinions, or your own experiances. Please.

Ps, yes I did post about it around a year ago, but I tried ''real life'' however, it sucks. :)

fraser2312 8 Jul 2011 22:27

Dear Deidre would say;
Just let your parents know what you want to do, explain to them this is what you have been saving for and i'm sure they'll understand. :smartass:


We're actually in very similar situations im 21, been working non stop got a bit of money saved up and wanting to take off on a trip, my parents really want me to settle down get a morgage ect ect... but im not having it:thumbdown:

Jimbike 8 Jul 2011 23:16

Listen to Uncle Jimbike....

I'm just twice your age and know I have to be a bit selfish to stay sane-ish. I was in the same situation you are in when I was 20 something and wish I'd travelled even more than I did.
There is plenty of time to get a mortgage (not a great idea IMHO) and a career, I got a successful one in something I loved but probably wouldn't have if I had never travelled a bit.
I think if you are set on travel and that is your obsession, you need to do it or you will always regret it. It will always be at the back of your mind when you've spent those savings on a house deposit and you'll resent the house for robbing you of your dreams and replacing it with responsibility and DIY. There's plenty of time to settle down once you've tasted freedom. :mchappy:
Believe me it's a lot harder to get away for a trip with the ties of children. Posible but a lot harder.

MikeyMoto 9 Jul 2011 00:16

Cysne,

Strike while the iron is hot. Follow your heart and listen to the advice of the previous Hubb users. In my past experience those who care for you will support you, whether they agree with your travel plans or not. Talk to them and get them involved. With today's technology they can easily be a part of your adventure! It is an amazing world, no better way to see it than on a motorcycle. Remember this: " Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris.

Happy travels, Mike.

jeanied1 9 Jul 2011 00:32

Just do it!
 
Hey there, Cysne!

I agree with everyone else who's replied - follow your heart and go for it!

When I was about your age, I desperately wanted to go on a gap year and didn't - my parents put their foot down and pressured me into going straight from school to university. I've always regretted that I didn't just go, while I was "young and fancy free" - I've been trying to make up for it ever since!

Set up a blog site so your family and friends can share in your adventures, and then get on the road, mate, get on the road!!

Jeanie

vlt1 9 Jul 2011 03:16

You maybe but, do this trip while you can. You never know when things in life may change and keep you from being able to live your dream. Enjoy the world, life and everything.

brclarke 9 Jul 2011 04:13

Do it now while your parents are still relatively young and healthy, and you have no obligations like family or mortgage.

The older you are, the harder it will be to get away...

coolblackbird 9 Jul 2011 08:48

hi
ive got the same problem but i am at the other end of the scale i want to go rtw for my 50 but wife thinks what about the time and money bla bla bla you only live once i say, so i am going to do. i ve got kids nearly your age my daughter wants to go across the usa when she's 21 i said i want her to go. just talk to your folks you never know they might be ok with it. oh yes well done saving at your age i am 45 and i am still crap at saving. LIVE THE DREAM

Cysne 9 Jul 2011 08:53

Thanks for the positive words, I guess it's important to have people like minded to offer opinions etc. Thanks.

I guess I just need to suck it up and do it. I guess I know what I'm going to be doing this weekend. Reading up and learning how to start.

Thanks all, keep it coming.

deenewcastle 9 Jul 2011 09:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by bclarke (Post 341959)
Do it now while your parents are still relatively young and healthy ..

Selfish? I have quoted the above extract from an earlier post so that you can show your parents that you're actually doing them a favour. You intend going early so that when they are older and not quite so healthy, you can be around to help them out. Afterall, surely it would be more selfish to go when they are more likely to need you :innocent:

martyboy 9 Jul 2011 09:40

go for it
 
You are not being selfish my friend, quite the opposite. The very fact that you are concerned about how others feel proves this. You are 21 with your whole life in front of you and with no commitments to kids,mortgage or career etc.The real selfish people are the ones trying to make you feel guilty about doing somthing that you have focused on and sacrificed for. Whilst others your age would have blown their earnings on booze,clothes and gadgets and no one would have thought twice about that, you have stuck to your plan. You have proven yourself as a responsible hard working individual, assets that will help you gain employment anywhere.My advice to you is stick to your plan take your trip. Travel, discover and enjoy.

DaveSmith 18 Jul 2011 11:06

Ha, you're asking on the wrong board. Maybe you should join a knitting group and ask there if you want to be talked out of it. I'd say everyone who frequents the HUBB are all going to say go. Just remember, if you don't like it once you've left, nothing is stopping you from going home.

You only live once and life is incredibly short and fragile. I wish I'd first left when I was your age.

henryuk 18 Jul 2011 11:16

My folks were 'a bit' horrified when I told them I'd packed my job in, got a bike license, bought a bike and was riding off into the horizon. They were pretty nervous the whole time I was away as they tend to worry at the best of times, but when I got back they were also immensely proud. What paerents really want is for their offspring to be happy, even if sometimes they get a bit mixed up and come to the conclusion that a stable and steady job equates to happiness in some way.

I'm in the process of selling up my house, quiting my job (again), and selling all of my possessions so I can 'do it properly' next time (a few years on the road at least). Once again my folks are concerned that I'm throwing away everything I've worked for, but they can see that this will make me happy and sitting under the flourescent lights in front of a screen will kill me very slowly indeed.

Go for it, there's no time like the present. Don't expect to 'get it out of your system' though, I'm not sure it works like that - you have to keep feeding the rat!

coolblackbird 18 Jul 2011 20:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by henryuk (Post 342909)
My folks were 'a bit' horrified when I told them I'd packed my job in, got a bike license, bought a bike and was riding off into the horizon. They were pretty nervous the whole time I was away as they tend to worry at the best of times, but when I got back they were also immensely proud. What paerents really want is for their offspring to be happy, even if sometimes they get a bit mixed up and come to the conclusion that a stable and steady job equates to happiness in some way.

I'm in the process of selling up my house, quiting my job (again), and selling all of my possessions so I can 'do it properly' next time (a few years on the road at least). Once again my folks are concerned that I'm throwing away everything I've worked for, but they can see that this will make me happy and sitting under the flourescent lights in front of a screen will kill me very slowly indeed.

Go for it, there's no time like the present. Don't expect to 'get it out of your system' though, I'm not sure it works like that - you have to keep feeding the rat!

I agree that bloody rat he's always hungry i did a part one in europe and i am inching to do a big one now good luck with your big one :funmeteryes::thumbup1:

Fern 23 Oct 2011 21:14

you have such a wonderful opportunity! Well done for saving so hard!

Your parents have offered you a job now, there might not be one when you get back, but that means your parents don't want to see you go without.

I work for my dad, I'm quitting my job in October 2012. He has told me that the job I do might not be there for me when I get back, but he won't see me go hungry, so whether it is packing boxes, or cleaning his house etc, then all is well.

The money saved for a big trip will struggle to be even a deposit on a mortgage these days, and even then you'll be tied into knuckling down for the next 20 years, and thats without the threat of interest rates going through the roof.

The money spent on serious travel is also an investment in yourself. It is brill to put on your cv and will give you credibility. This in turn will rub off on your family and friends.

No kids, no mortgage, no elderly relatives to care for. boing!


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