Mashed Taties
 

As I prefer riding on nadgery scratchy B-roads I not infrequently stand on the pegs to reduce getting 'thrown' on rough surfaces.Still haven't sussed keeping my scrotal gear aloft,however.Any advice on landing'wheels up'as it were?Any replies involving surgery,velcro and/or superglue will be ignored(and grinned at..)

You could try asking something sufficiently arousing to sit on the handlebars as you ride - thus raising the height of your dangleberries.

Possible problems with keeping an eye on the road, top heavy bike, cops etc....

Try a loud cough just as you land....

Thanks for your input.No surgical suggestions I see...does anyone know what mountain bikers do about this?Equestrian chaps?Rodeo riders?I'll stop for now before my nurse catches me on this thing.................

Close fitting underpants to hold you firmly in place. I never had this problem on mountain bikes with cycling shorts and I don't have it off-roading in my old fashioned Y-fronts!

I find that when landing hard on a mountain bike leaning to one side a bit works - that way you get hit in the thight every time - but tricky on a motorbike due to seat width

suck 'em up
 

Some Tantric Hindu monks have methods of raising the bollocks into the body. This takes years to learn but you could always give it a try. I dont know how quickly the undercarriage can be retracted but you have every incentive to get them out of the way fast - a sort of Darwinian solution.

Let us know how you get on with the tantric stuff - some before and after pics might interest the girls?

A simpler solution is to get a piece of string tied to your gonads and the other end round your neck - you only have to raise your head and hey presto! they will levitate. Lower the head and they should settle back nicely.


Hope this helps....