Mashed Taties - Horizons Unlimited

**bonzo** · #1 22 May 2006

As I prefer riding on nadgery scratchy B-roads I not infrequently stand on the pegs to reduce getting 'thrown' on rough surfaces.Still haven't sussed keeping my scrotal gear aloft,however.Any advice on landing'wheels up'as it were?Any replies involving surgery,velcro and/or superglue will be ignored(and grinned at..)

**henryuk** · #2 22 May 2006

You could try asking something sufficiently arousing to sit on the handlebars as you ride - thus raising the height of your dangleberries.

Possible problems with keeping an eye on the road, top heavy bike, cops etc....

**Bill Holland** · #3 22 May 2006

Try a loud cough just as you land....

**bonzo** · #4 22 May 2006

Thanks for your input.No surgical suggestions I see...does anyone know what mountain bikers do about this?Equestrian chaps?Rodeo riders?I'll stop for now before my nurse catches me on this thing.................

**mustaphapint** · #5 22 May 2006

Close fitting underpants to hold you firmly in place. I never had this problem on mountain bikes with cycling shorts and I don't have it off-roading in my old fashioned Y-fronts!

**henryuk** · #6 23 May 2006

I find that when landing hard on a mountain bike leaning to one side a bit works - that way you get hit in the thight every time - but tricky on a motorbike due to seat width

**Caminando** · #7 23 May 2006

Some Tantric Hindu monks have methods of raising the bollocks into the body. This takes years to learn but you could always give it a try. I dont know how quickly the undercarriage can be retracted but you have every incentive to get them out of the way fast - a sort of Darwinian solution.

Let us know how you get on with the tantric stuff - some before and after pics might interest the girls?

A simpler solution is to get a piece of string tied to your gonads and the other end round your neck - you only have to raise your head and hey presto! they will levitate. Lower the head and they should settle back nicely.

Hope this helps....