Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB

Horizons Unlimited - The HUBB (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/)
-   The HUBB PUB (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/the-hubb-pub/)
-   -   The BOLUDOMETRO as an interventive divice (https://www.horizonsunlimited.com/hubb/the-hubb-pub/the-boludometro-as-interventive-divice-40961)

xfiltrate 19 Feb 2009 00:58

The BOLUDOMETRO as an interventive divice
 
The ¨Boludometro¨as an Interventive Device and Deterrent to potential gang violence.

When I invented the Boludometro, it was born out of the frustration of dealing with Argentine funding sources in a failed attempt to fund our explorations of South and Central American border crossings as foreigners riding Argentine registered motorcycles. Surly anyone can immediately see the value of such a study. It is part of an overall stretegy to have foreigners fly into Buenos Aires and purchase motorcycles locally instead of shipping their own bikes in from far away lands.

So I have this Boludometro, consisting of a gauge with the number 0 to 5 series of dots inbetween, a red LED light that blinks when the on off bbutton on the bottom is toggled and also underneath is a small dial that controlls the needle that moves from 0 to 5. So right away you see the operator of the Boludometro controlls the needle and it´s measurments , of course with the GPS type sattilite link, as explained to those observing what is being measured. The Boludometro has the ability to measure the beauty of a woman, the boludeis of a man ( stupidity) and as many other things as the operator can imagine.

When 7 tough guys, rode into our semi isolated (bush) camp, parked their bikes 100s and 250s and started fonding our NX 400s saddle bags, tail bags and one even tried to mount, but fell down ...we were shocked and I knew we might be in trouble when the Fernet (Argentines versions of rot gut whiskey) was passed around and served into the bottom half of 2 liter containers which each man mysteriously produced from his bike. I knew I had to do something, Elisa was sun bathing nearby and I was on my feet, disappeared into the tent and reappeared with the boludometro and professionally explained to the biggest gang member that we were touring Argentina for the purpose of testing the prototype Boludometro and whould he mind if I tested some of the gang members.

Once I explained what a prototype was and that I was the inventor of the Boludometro, the whole scene changed and each gang member was pointed to another and saying test him test him he is the most boludo. I tested a few and awarded them 2s and 3s and then I stepped right up into the face of the leader who looked like he could have really given me a tough time if he chose to and asked if I could test him. after a long pause and to the cheers of the gang he said yeah go ahead. Of course I gave him a 0 indicating that he was not a boludo at all. Pretty much after that I had paid my dues and after some really funny conversations about how fast our bikes would go and how we have camped with banditos in the Central Andes, Police in Chile , Narco trafficantes in Bolivia and with innumerable cocaleros ( those who grow coca leaves) the guys finishied up their Fernet mounted their bikes and rode away. xfiltrate

Stretcher Monkey 19 Feb 2009 02:31

Barking...absolutely barking, but nice one all the same.

*Touring Ted* 21 Feb 2009 13:11

A 3000 Volt taser attachment may come in useful incase it doesnt work as originally intended ;)


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