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I have a similar issue. I traveled by motorcycle back in the '70's when I was single, only in the US. I quite to go to college in 1989 and never traveled again until 2009. I got married in 1997, at 40 years old. I have three boys. Here is what I'm doing.
Up to this point, I have taken small trips, most not exceeding a week. As my kids have gotten older, and wife has gotten more adjusted to my being gone, I have begun to lengthen the trips. My next trip, in June 2012, is to the Arctic, which will be 30 day trip. As far as work goes, I will "take it with me". Most of the time I will not have to deal with work. But I will have to things like monthly billings to customers. So that will be handled using phone and laptop, emailing pdf copies of billing back to the secretary so she can process them. Family has gradually gotten behind my travels and my wife is now even planning to begin traveling with me in about 3-5 years. She is currently looking at our first tour outside the US - a two-week ride around Ireland. I'm planning to begin taking one 30 day trip per year for now. Some may become longer once I retire completely. But for now, this is all I can do. I only have two weeks paid vacation per year. So two seeks will be without pay. I really enjoy reading the ride reports of those who travel for months at a time. But I have a family, and other obligations that I choose to not give up. And I want a home base to come back to. So I will never be one of those sell everything and hit the road kind of guys. My wife will tell you that once I gave up the "wall street" life and began riding motorcycles and doing woodworking, my personality changed for the better. I'm much more happy and laid back. Just like I was back in the 70's and 80's when I rode motorcycles. We met in 1995 and she did not know the extent of my motorcycle traveling in prior years until later. So here is my advice to you. Take it slow. But do ride. Take small trips. Day trips. Do things like this. Find a road near home. Take it. Ride on it til it comes to an end. As your family gets older, try to get your wife interested in bikes. Go to rallys. Take her. Find a babysiiter for the kids. Join a local motorcycle club if one is nearby. Take your time, gradually build into it. Once you get closer to retirement age, the time will begin to open up and you will be able to take bigger trips. But enjoy your family. Those kids grow up freaky fast. Consider yourself as one of the lucky guys who has both: a great family and the ability to ride motorcycles. I know I do. |
Hi just joined this HUBB, regarding traveling with children, when we had our 5 kids, could not afford to travel, we did do days out, did not no then what we now know.
But i don't think we would have upset family life, so they are all grown up and left home, (some times 1 comes back for a little stay) so started to do trips with a Land Rover and tent, then sold the house and raveled around the country in a caravan for 2 years, but we had to get a home because of health problems, but still travel a bit, been to Sweden also we did a charity drive doing 11 countries in 9 days around Europe. been to Croatia for of roading. Just bought a Land Rover camper, and planing trips for next year, so at me 65 wife 50+ starting to enjoy life for our self's. See if you can wait for a bit, and enjoy trips with your wife. are web site with some trips and the restoring of the camper. Home - Teddys |
32year old with a serious relationship the last 5 years.
I have done big expeditions and I want more, like 1 or 3 years. Just the idea to be on the road, anywhere in the world with my bike, it's electrify me. Butt the last year the idea do have in my arms a little human every night back home, electrify me too. Don't putt problem in your self. You have a lovely family and a passion, like a lot of us... After all, you have too tell at someone the travel stories when you are gonna be a old man. Your grandchildren for example.. Live the moment.. Its better to eat one pizza or to taste more differences kind of slices?? |
Also,
a good traveler, must always have a base :) |
Respect is a two way street
I have a wife and two kids, and since they "arrived" I have managed to both take care of my family and being able to take loose and do whats important to me.
I guess its challange, but my wife knew who I was, and has never tried to stop me for being who I am. I have managed to cross the Sahara with a motorcycle (07), partisipate in Budapest - Bamako in 2010, and next summer I will be going away to drive around the Caspian sea. I guess open communication is the key word. I wish you all the best luck in following your dreams, with or without a family. :thumbup1: Haakon |
Go for it
Personally I procured a sailboat to take an adventure of a lifetime and .thirty years later I have no re regrets of allowing my my beautiful wife raise the children whilst i,was away as I returned at times or had my daughter join me when possible.
I provided a wonderful loving and educational experience for my family that brings us closer everyday. Understandably this was not entirely on motorcycle as as the boat as a base and would venture out on one of my old bikes. For anyone reading saying gee that's easy with money I started out with about $2500 U.S. dollars. (I worked in a very wide variety of jobs to 'keep afloat' commercial fishing, search and rescue ,farming.....) These choices are personal and would I not give,up the adventure for more,financial security which the kids,run up,250000 college bill and kids,then marry and,you obligate yourself and the nice invite to holiday supper to discuss bills for your children's new family which you now you,are obligated. The wife wants a nest you want want to spread your wings, be a man do what you feel best. Ps I am headed to pick up my bike after a wonderful time with my three wonderful grand children. Life is Good He who hesitates is lost. All the best Hope to see you) |
The age old dilemma. And who can blame you. Long term travel is one of the most wonderful and life changing things a person can do.
I've sacrificed more than a few very good relationships because of my travelling and lack of will to compromise. I managed to keep a girlfriend for 2x seven month trips before she finally said enough is enough. And I won't lie.. It was a major ball ache trying to keep in constant touch with her and all while watching all the foreign beauties walk past by. Now in my early thirties, all my friends are married with young kids and I'm still living the life of a man ten years younger (good or bad, I'm not sure). I've got a girlfriend and although I've been away twice this year for 1 and then for 2 months, she is really not happy about it. And I wasn't happy cutting the trips so short just to keep her happy. I really hate being stuck in the U.K and she knows it. It's tough and it causes many problems. Is the travelling man destined to be a lonely one ? Good travelling girls are hard to find. They exist , but they're snapped up quick :rolleyes2: So, unless your wife is prepared to let you fulfill your dream then it's unlikely you're going to get away for extended trips. Finding such a partner in life is rarer than rocking horse poop. And who can blame them. I wouldn't like to be the one left at home looking after the kids. Now, I've met a few travelling families with young kids while on my travels and they seem very well adjusted kids. Getting a true worldly education while receiving distance learning from their parents. Again, unless your misses feels the same as you and you have the money to finance it, It just isn't going to happen is it. Unless you're prepared to take a massive risk with your career. It's a risk I'd take though. Being a family man is probably more rewarding and adventurous than trawling the beaches and bars of the world amyway. Be proud in what you've achieved. Never forget that !! If I was you I'd have a proper sit down with your missis and explain to her how you feel. Maybe she'll agree to let you do some travel. The kids will miss you and you them, but they're young. They will be just fine. That's what skype is for. And just think of the cool and interesting presents you could post them from your trips. There is no reason they couldn't fly out to have a holiday with you. Or vice versa. You are like most people. You are trapped by the things you own. They own you. House ,car, luxuries etc. You're afraid of throwing your career away in a recession with the fear of your family in need. And I don't blame you. It would be terrifying. What is your career ??? What do you do ??? Could you not get a career break ? Maybe you're due a change ! Start your own business ?? Your job seems like your biggest shackle at the moment. It's a tough one. I can't agree with those who say wait until you're retired. That's A LONG time to be unhappy and unfulfilled. You have one life. It's very short. Why wait until your old and creeking. Every 'Senior' traveller I've ever met just tells me how they regret not doing it sooner. |
There is a way...an example
So I have just joined the Hubb. Been "adventure" riding for years (meaning shorter multi-day trips into remote places on my own for fun) but never had the opportunity to even contemplate multi - country longer trips.
I too have a family (8 and 10 year old devils without whom I would be lost), mortgage, dogs, cats, goldfish, lawn to mow and an unfinished fence project....in other words pretty damn normal. However it has become apparent that this year I am going to have to travel from Australia to Singapore at some stage for work...not long trips, just a few days here or there. I had just finished reading a Ride Report over on ADV going from Australia through Indonesia and up into SE Asia and it looked awesome. For a laugh I thought I would plan a route overland to Singapore from my home in Brisbane. About 5 weeks and a few thousand dollars (no doubt I am way out on the money side...however...) should do it nicely. Hmmm, I can get probably 5 weeks off if I do a little work on the road on the way. I have (or the bank can give me) that kind of money no problem. I mentioned all this to my wife in that kind of "honey I reckon I could ride my bike to Singapore...ha ha ha" kind of way not expecting much enthusiasm to be honest... To my surprise she actually said...yeah...and I could fly up with the kids and meet you in say Bali and then I can meet you in Singapore at the end and we can have a few days on our own...that would be awesome. Wooo!! That completely threw me.... The point of this rambling post is that even with all the usual commitments to life the vast majority of us have (and frankly I would have it no other way) there are many different ways you can make your adventure dreams come true without having to wait until you retire. Its been said before....but I'll say it again...just need to get on with it really. Problem now is of course....I might actually have to ride my bike to Singapore...bloody hell..now I'm in trouble... Yours Tux |
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Your missis sounds great. What an understanding lady.. Unless she's anything like mine.. Me : Baby, I think I'm going to fly to Canada for two months and canoe the Yukon River. Her: Oh honey, that sounds amazing. You'll have such as experience. I'm very jealous but I'm totally 100% behind you. You go for it. Me: Oh cool.. Thanks hun. THREE WEEKS LATER.... Me: Honey, I've booked my flights to Canada. Her : WHAT ??? You absolute ****. I can't believe you would do that you selfish ****** bloody ***. Why didn't you tell me you **** ****** Me: Baaaabbbyyyy pllleeeaaaseeee, I thought you said it was fine... Her ***** ****** **** *** **** **** Me: *Ducks like Neo out of the matrix and narrowly avoids being decapitated by a flying coffee table* :rofl: |
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While she is indeed a great lady... I have however just discovered there was more to her "understanding" than meets the eye...turns out a good friend of hers has just moved the Singapore whose husband runs some fancy resort casino hotel thing. She is seeing 5 stars and in room massages...I am trying to work out how to live on $40 a day for 5 weeks through Indonesia and not drown on some dodgy ferry crossing.... Goes to show though that even with widely differing travel goals (diametrically opposed goals in this case)...it can still work out with a bit of understanding on both sides. |
i like the fact that people are suggesting to bring your family, but i have to wonder how practical it would be to travel by motorcycle with two small children - especially since we dont know whether your wife also rides. It would be amazing to turn it into a family vacation but i also feel like that would lack the sense of freedom you yearn for with these trips.
Your family is absolutely your reponsibility and your kiddos are a bit young to leave for an extended period of time. But once they're older and can do more for themselves, the burden will be less for your wife if you were to jet for a few weeks. Not to mention, part of a healthy relationship is making sure you're both satisfied emotionally. Consider trading vacations so you can both take some time away! Motorcycle Trip for Spa Retreat? Good luck.:clap: |
We chose a middle route - we're lucky enough to have jobs that are flexible, so we chose the expat life. That way we get to satisfy the "new experiences" urges, and explore our new country and the countries around it, but the kids have some stability in schooling and we have an income that lets us do "fly in/fly out" travels (renting a vehicle in-country). Our youngest has been to some 40 countries, and she's only 10 ...
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hmm... well I have quite few girls friends who would love to travel in a more adventurous way but their b/f or husband just wants the beach holiday ressort and 5 star hotel with all booked in advance etc.... It goes to show....
On the issue of family and travel, why not compromise and get a mobilehome or equivalent with a small bike or scooter at the back? I have seen it few times. On a 3 weeks holiday you could still drive to Turkey/ Morocco or Eastern Europe and use the wee bike for some occasional half day escapade while the kids and missus get to the beach/pool/museums...? And sleeping in the mobilehome would cut hotel costs, so more fuel money :) And with a little 125 bike you could get lots of fun in mountain trails.... Maybe a bit more tame than a full year round the world but it could work? |
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She has made sacrifices too for you, your career and family. You may be surprised to find out that she has dreams too. Honestly, don't ask us what to do - ask your wife! :confused1: |
I reckon travelling long term with young children would be a complete nightmare under any circumstances, and ten times worse on bikes.
We had our lad at about the same age as you and since I got the wife riding pillion a few years back we have been putting money away for an extended tour when our lad clears off to Uni. Only 2 years to go! I then hope we will be able to go away for a few weeks every year on the bike and if we maintain our health we may be able to do a massive trip when I retire. Just accept that once you go down the wife/kids route your hands are tied for at least 18 years.:laugh: |
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