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  #241  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink Geo W B

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.

'I don't know what to do,' says the Devil. 'You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you.
I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place.

George thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.

The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.

'No!' George said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long.' The Devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

'No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!' commented George.

The Devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, 'Yeah, I can handle this.' The Devil smiled and said, 'Monica, you're free to go!'
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  #242  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink With the right accent, intonation, timing and knowledge, this is quite funny

Scottish Humour


Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's
forthcoming wedding.

"Ach, it's all going grand," says Jock. "I've got everything organised
already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the
minister, even ma stag night..

Archie nods approvingly.

"Havens, I've even bought a kilt to be married in!" continues Jock.

"A kilt?" exclaims Archie, "That's braw, you'll look pure dead brilliant in
that!

"And what's the tartan?" Archie then enquires.

"Och," says Jock, "I'd imagine she'll be in white..."
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  #243  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink Yet another true story

An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane.

At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready."

The Canadian gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. All Canadians have to show their passports on arrival in France!"

The elderly gentleman gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore on Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944, I couldn't find a f*cking Frenchman to show it to."
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  #244  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink Lot more to come

The Old Rancher

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an old rancher, in town. Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumour had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.

Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumour was true.
Tom assured him that it was. The banker then asked Tom the age of his new bride to be.

Tom proudly said,'She'll be thirty-one in November.'

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an old man.

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy, the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.

Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again.'

How's the new wife?', asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out,continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'

Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'

Don't ever underestimate old Guys!
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  #245  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink 2007 top 8

Number One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control centre. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants.
I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home.
Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbour, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America.
Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left.
He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.
Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........ But you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk.
The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot.
The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run.
So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area. (Weyauwega, Wisconsin) We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
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  #246  
Old 6 Jul 2008
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Wink That'll work OK

I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked OK for a 61-year-old.
In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a hot daughter.

We drank a bit, and had a bit of a snuggle, and then she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double.

'What's that?' I asked

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

I said, 'No' - excitedly.

We drank a bit more, then she says that tonight was 'my lucky night'.

I went back to her place.












She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mum, you still awake?'


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  #247  
Old 22 Jul 2008
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youve gotta laugh

Things Got'cha Down?
Well Then, Consider These . . .
.............................

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m. , regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around 11:00 a.m. Sunday, so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00! am., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.

Just when the clock struck 11:00 , Karen Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so she could use the vacuum cleaner.
Still Having a Bad Day????
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the
Exxon Valdez Oil spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively
saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.

Still think you are having a Bad Day????
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.

Are Ya OK Now? - No?
Two animal rights defenders were protesting the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn , Germany . Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
What?!? STILL having a Bad Day????
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with 'Return to Sender' stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits. God is Good!
There now, Feeling Better?
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  #248  
Old 22 Jul 2008
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The jokes are getting more right wing, more nasty, more redneck every time.
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  #249  
Old 22 Jul 2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Caminando View Post
The jokes are getting more right wing, more nasty, more redneck every time.
Lets balance things out then, ever heard Jeff Foxworthy's 'You might be a redneck if ...?'

(With apologies to any Americans - although the first time I heard this was while camping in the US!).

----------------------------8<--------------------------


You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

You think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company

Your state's got a new law that says when a couple get divorced, they are still legally brother and sister.

Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

You got stopped by a state trooper. He asked you if you had an I.D. And you said, 'Bout What?'

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

If you can burp and say your name at the same time, you're shur'nuff a redneck.

You think Possum is "The Other White Meat"

You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

You hooked up with your present girlfriend as a result of a message on the wall of the mens' room at the Flying J Truck Stop.

The centerpiece on your dining room table is an original signed work by a famous taxidermist.

You think a quarter horse is a ride out in front of the Wal-Mart.

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

You think there's nothin wrong with incest as long as you keep it in the family.

You may be a Redneck if...you and your dog use the same tree.

You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

You think the OJ Trial was a Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 8-tracks.

You think watching professional wrestling is foreplay.

The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

Your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

Your grandfather died and left everything to his widow. But she can't touch it until she's fourteen.

Your kids take a siphon hose to "Show and Tell."

You've ever had to scratch your sisters name out of a message that begins, "For a good time time call..."

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took

Your whole family is Democrats 'cept little Mary. She lernt how to read.

You think fast food is hitting a possum at 65 mph.

A night trip to the bathroom involves a coat and a flashlight.

You've had to climb a water tower with a can of paint to defend your sisters honor.
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  #250  
Old 23 Jul 2008
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Talking The Living statues

Two statues stood in a city park: one female and the other male. These statues faced each other for many years.

Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."

And with that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling, and twigs snapping.

After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling.
Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?"

The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

Last edited by stuxtttr; 23 Jul 2008 at 07:43. Reason: missed a bit
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  #251  
Old 23 Jul 2008
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Mr Bear and Mr Rabbit

Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit lived in the same forest, but they didn't like each other very much. One day, while walking through the woods, and they came across a golden frog. They were amazed when the frog talked to them. The golden frog admitted that he didn't often meet anyone, but, when he did, he always gave them six wishes, so he told them that they could have three wishes each.
Mr. Bear immediately wished that all the other bears in the forest were females. The frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit, after thinking for a while, wished for a crash helmet. One appeared immediately, and he placed it on his head.
Mr. Bear was amazed at Mr. Rabbit's wish, but carried on with his second wish. He wished that all the bears in the neighboring forests were females as well, and the frog granted his wish. Mr. Rabbit then wished for a motorcycle. It appeared before him, and he climbed on board and started revving the engine.
Mr. Bear could not believe it and complained that Mr. Rabbit had wasted two wishes that he could have had for himself. Shaking his head, Mr. Bear made his final wish, that all the other bears in the world were females as well, leaving him as the only male bear in the world. The frog replied that it had been done, and they both turned to Mr. Rabbit for his last wish.
Mr. Rabbit revved the engine, thought for a second, then said, “I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!” and rode off as fast as he could.
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  #252  
Old 25 Jul 2008
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Wink Now ain't that the truth - part 1

You pinko, liberal, left-wing, don't know what side of the bed I got out of this am, ain't going to like the"truth man" herein (but do I look like I care?):-

IT MAY LOOK LONG, BUT IT WON'T SEEM IT ONCE YOU START READING!

Commencement Address (Texas A&M). Date: Thu, 24 Jan 2008 04:14:32 +0000. This should be considered must reading for every adult in North America. It is extremely rare that anyone speaks the truth like this at any College or High School Commencement Address.

Neal Boortz is a Texan, a lawyer, a Texas AGGIE (Texas A&M), and now a nationally syndicated talk show host from Atlanta. His commencement address to the graduates of this year's A&M class is far different from what either the students or the faculty expected. His views are thought provoking:

'I am honored by the invitation to address you on this august occasion. It's about time. Be warned, however, that I am not here to impress you; you'll have enough smoke blown up your bloomers today. And you can bet your tassles I'm not here to impress the faculty and administration. You may not like much of what I have to say, and that's fine. You will remember it though. Especially after about 10years out there in the real world.
This, it goes without saying, does not apply to those of you who will seek your careers and your fortunes as government employees.

This gowned gaggle behind me is your faculty. You've heard the old saying that those who can - do. Those who can't- teach. That sounds deliciously insensitive. But there is often raw truth in insensitivity, just as you often find feel-good falsehoods and lies in compassion. Say good-bye to your faculty because now you are getting ready to go out there and do. These folks behind me are going to stay right here and teach.

By the way, just because you are leaving this place with a diploma doesn't mean the learning is over. When an FAA flight examiner handed me my private pilot's license many years ago, he said, 'Here, this is your ticket to learn.' The same can be said for your diploma. Believe me, the learning has just begun.

Now, I realize that most of you consider yourselves Liberals. In fact, you are probably very proud of your liberal views. You care so much. You feel so much. You want to help so much. After all you're a compassionate and caring person, aren't you now? Well, isn't that just so extraordinarily special. Now, at this age, is as good a time as any to be a liberal; as good a time as any to know absolutely everything. You have plenty of time, starting tomorrow, for the truth to set in.

Over the next few years, as you begin to feel the cold breath of reality down your neck, things are going to start changing pretty fast... including your own assessment of just how much you really know.

So here are the first assignments for your initial class in reality: Pay attention to the news, read newspapers,and listen to the words and phrases that proud Liberals use to promote their causes. Then, compare the words of the left to the words and phrases you hear from those evil, heartless, greedy conservatives. From the Left you will hear 'I feel.' From the Right you will hear 'I think.' From the Liberals you will hear references to groups --
The Blacks, the Poor, The Rich, The Disadvantaged, The Less Fortunate. From the Right you will hear references to individuals. On the Left you hear talk of group rights; on the Right, individual rights.

That about sums it up, really: Liberals feel. Liberals care. They are pack animals whose identity is tied up ingroup dynamics. Conservatives think
-- and, setting aside the theocracy crowd, their identity is centered on the individual.

Liberals feel that their favored groups have enforceable rights to the property and services of productive individuals. Conservatives, I among them I might add, think that individuals have the right to protect their lives and their property from the plunder of the masses.

In college you developed a group mentality, but if you look closely at your diplomas you will see that they have your individual names on them. Not the name of your school mascot, or of your fraternity or sorority, but your name. Your group identity is going away. Your recognition and appreciation of your individual identity starts now.

If, by the time you reach the age of 30, you do not consider yourself to be a conservative, rush right back here as quickly as you can and apply for a faculty position. These people will welcome you with open arms. They will welcome you, that is, so long as you haven't developed an individual identity. Once again you will have to be willing to sign on to the group mentality you embraced during the past four years.

Something is going to happen soon that is going to really open your eyes. You're going to actually get a full time job!
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  #253  
Old 25 Jul 2008
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Part 2 - there is worse to come

You're also going to get a lifelong work partner This partner isn't going to help you do your job. This partner is just going to sit back and wait for payday. This partner doesn't want to share in your effort, but in your earnings.

Your new lifelong partner is actually an agent; an agent representing a strange and diverse group of people; an agent for every teenager with an illegitimate child; an agent for a research scientist who wanted to make some cash answering the age-old question of why monkeys grind their teeth. An agent for some poor demented hippie who considers herself to be a meaningful and talented artist, but who just can't manage to sell any of her artwork on the open market.

Your new partner is an agent for every person with limited, if any, job skills, but who wanted a job at City Hall. An agent for tinhorn dictators in fancy military uniforms grasping for American foreign aid. An agent for multi-million- dollar companies who want someone else to pay for their overseas advertising. An agent for everybody who wants to use the unimaginable power of this agent's for their personal enrichment and benefit.

That agent is our wonderful, caring, compassionate, oppressive government. Believe me, you will be awed by the unimaginable power this agent has: power that you do not have; a power that no individual has, or will have. This agent has the legal power to use force, deadly force to accomplish its goals.

You have no choice here. Your new friend is just going to walk up to you, introduce itself rather gruffly, hand you a few forms to fill out, and move right on in. Say hello to your own personal one-ton gorilla. It will sleep anywhere it wants to.

Now, let me tell you, this agent is not cheap. As you become successful it will seize about 40% of everything you earn. And no, I'm sorry, there just isn't any way you can fire this agent of plunder, and you can't decrease its share of your income. That power rests with him, not you.

So, here I am saying negative things to you about government. Well, be clear on this: It is not wrong to distrust government. It is not wrong to fear government. In certain cases it is not even wrong to despise government for government is inherently evil Yes ... a necessary evil, but dangerous nonetheless ... somewhat like a drug. Just as a drug that in the proper dosage can save your life, an overdose of government can be fatal.

Now let's address a few things that have been crammed into your minds at this university. There are some ideas you need to expunge as soon as possible. These ideas may work well in academic environment, but they fail miserably out there in the real world.

First is that favorite buzzword of the media and academia: Diversity! You have been taught that the real value of any group of people - be it a social group, an employee group, a management group, whatever - is based on diversity. This is a favored liberal ideal because diversity is based not on an individual's abilities or character, but on a person's identity and status as a member of a group. Yes, it's that liberal group identity thing again.

Within the great diversity movement group identification - be it racial, gender based, or some other minority status - means more than the individual's integrity, character or other qualifications.

Brace yourself. You are about to move from this academic atmosphere where diversity rules, to a workplace and a culture where individual achievement and excellence actually count. No matter what your professors have taught you over the last four years, you are about to learn that diversity is absolutely no replacement for excellence, ability, and individual hard work. From this day on every single time you hear the word 'diversity' you can rest assured that there is someone close by who is determined to rob you of every vestige of individuality you possess.

We also need to address this thing you seem to have about 'rights.' We have witnessed an obscene explosion of so-called 'rights' in the last few decades, usually emanating from college campuses.

You know the mantra: You have the right to a job. The right to a place to live. The right to a living wage. The right to health care. The right to an education. You probably even have your own pet right - the right to a Beemer for instance, or the right to have someone else provide for that child you plan on downloading in a year or so.
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  #254  
Old 25 Jul 2008
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Wink Part 2 - there is worse to come

Still with me? Read on:-

You're also going to get a lifelong work partner This partner isn't going to help you do your job. This partner is just going to sit back and wait for payday. This partner doesn't want to share in your effort, but in your earnings.

Your new lifelong partner is actually an agent; an agent representing a strange and diverse group of people; an agent for every teenager with an illegitimate child; an agent for a research scientist who wanted to make some cash answering the age-old question of why monkeys grind their teeth. An agent for some poor demented hippie who considers herself to be a meaningful and talented artist, but who just can't manage to sell any of her artwork on the open market.

Your new partner is an agent for every person with limited, if any, job skills, but who wanted a job at City Hall. An agent for tinhorn dictators in fancy military uniforms grasping for American foreign aid. An agent for multi-million- dollar companies who want someone else to pay for their overseas advertising. An agent for everybody who wants to use the unimaginable power of this agent's for their personal enrichment and benefit.

That agent is our wonderful, caring, compassionate, oppressive government. Believe me, you will be awed by the unimaginable power this agent has: power that you do not have; a power that no individual has, or will have. This agent has the legal power to use force, deadly force to accomplish its goals.

You have no choice here. Your new friend is just going to walk up to you, introduce itself rather gruffly, hand you a few forms to fill out, and move right on in. Say hello to your own personal one-ton gorilla. It will sleep anywhere it wants to.

Now, let me tell you, this agent is not cheap. As you become successful it will seize about 40% of everything you earn. And no, I'm sorry, there just isn't any way you can fire this agent of plunder, and you can't decrease its share of your income. That power rests with him, not you.

So, here I am saying negative things to you about government. Well, be clear on this: It is not wrong to distrust government. It is not wrong to fear government. In certain cases it is not even wrong to despise government for government is inherently evil Yes ... a necessary evil, but dangerous nonetheless ... somewhat like a drug. Just as a drug that in the proper dosage can save your life, an overdose of government can be fatal.
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  #255  
Old 25 Jul 2008
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Wink Part 3 - did you get that bit about academics?

Now let's address a few things that have been crammed into your minds at this university. There are some ideas you need to expunge as soon as possible. These ideas may work well in academic environment, but they fail miserably out there in the real world.

First is that favorite buzzword of the media and academia: Diversity! You have been taught that the real value of any group of people - be it a social group, an employee group, a management group, whatever - is based on diversity. This is a favored liberal ideal because diversity is based not on an individual's abilities or character, but on a person's identity and status as a member of a group. Yes, it's that liberal group identity thing again.

Within the great diversity movement group identification - be it racial, gender based, or some other minority status - means more than the individual's integrity, character or other qualifications.

Brace yourself. You are about to move from this academic atmosphere where diversity rules, to a workplace and a culture where individual achievement and excellence actually count. No matter what your professors have taught you over the last four years, you are about to learn that diversity is absolutely no replacement for excellence, ability, and individual hard work. From this day on every single time you hear the word 'diversity' you can rest assured that there is someone close by who is determined to rob you of every vestige of individuality you possess.

We also need to address this thing you seem to have about 'rights.' We have witnessed an obscene explosion of so-called 'rights' in the last few decades, usually emanating from college campuses.

You know the mantra: You have the right to a job. The right to a place to live. The right to a living wage. The right to health care. The right to an education. You probably even have your own pet right - the right to a Beemer for instance, or the right to have someone else provide for that child you plan on downloading in a year or so.

Forget it. Forget those rights! I'll tell you what your rights are! You have a right to live free, and to the results of 60% -75% of your labor. I'll also tell you have no right to any portion of the life or labor of another.

You may, for instance, think that you have a right to health care. After all, Hillary said so, didn't she? But you cannot receive healthcare unless some doctor or health practitioner surrenders some of his time - his life - to you. He may be willing to do this for compensation, but that's his choice. You have no 'right' to his time or property. You have no right to his or any other person's life or to any portion thereof.

You may also think you have some 'right' to a job; a job with a living wage, whatever that is. Do you mean to tell me that you have a right to force your services on another person, and then the right to demand that this person compensate you with their money? Sorry, forget it. I am sure you would scream if some urban outdoorsmen (that would be 'homeless person' for those of you who don't want to give these less fortunate people a romantic and adventurous title) came to you and demanded his job and your money.

The people who have been telling you about all the rights you have are simply exercising one of theirs - the right to be imbeciles. Their being imbeciles didn't cost anyone else either property or time. It's their right, and they exercise it brilliantly.

By the way, did you catch my use of the phrase 'less fortunate' a bit ago when I was talking about the urban outdoorsmen? That phrase is a favorite of the Left. Think about it, and you'll understand why.
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