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Motorcycle travel in Tibet, Nepal, Bhutan, India...

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  #1  
Old 18 May 2006
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This happens only in INDIA !!! Indian traffic

Take a view :-)
I just fell off my chair laughing seeing this,,

Just thought to share it around..

http://www.funmansion.com/videos/cra...gn_traffic.wmv

Right click it and say save as,,, and see the video.

Vistors to India,, (Especially riders beware and you must see this video)
This is the typical scene in any major junction without a signal(and with the signal too it isn't very different).

if that does not work go to
http://www.funmansion.com and search for Traffic ,, its the first video that comes >> Crazy Foreign traffic
http://www.funmansion.com/templates/view.php?go=search



Of none of these work,, there is a slightly slower(or maybe original) version of the same here
http://youtube.com/watch?v=RjrEQaG5jPM but not as funny :-)
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Last edited by Red Bull; 18 May 2006 at 16:51.
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Old 18 May 2006
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Talking Amazing India,, Same thing but a textual description!

Really hilarious

A Dutchman from Baan named Andries Meerstadt, wrote this witty article, spent two years in Trivandrum as a visiting IT expert in Techno Park.

"For the benefit of everybody visiting India and daring to drive on Indian roads, I am offering a few hints for survival. They are applicable to every place in India except Bihar, where life outside a vehicle is only marginally safer. Indian road rules broadly operate within the domain of Karma where you do your best, and leave the results to your Insurance Company.

Do we drive on the Left or Right side of the road?

The answer is "BOTH". You start on the left of the road, unless it is occupied. In that case, go to the right, unless that is also occupied. Then proceed by occupying the next available gap, as in chess. Just trust your instincts, ascertain the direction, and proceed. Adherence to road rules leads to much misery and occasional fatality. Most drivers do not drive, but just aim their vehicles in the generally intended direction. Don't you get discouraged or underestimate yourself except for a belief in reincarnation; the other drivers are not in any better position.

Pedestrians:

Don't stop at pedestrian crossings just because some fool wants to cross the road. You may do so only if you enjoy being bumped in the back. Pedestrians have been strictly instructed to cross only when traffic is moving slowly or has come to a dead stop because some minister is in town. Still some idiot may try to wade across, but then, let us not talk ill of the dead.

Horns:

Blowing your horn is not a sign of protest as in some countries. We horn to express joy, resentment, frustration, romance and bare lust (two brisk blasts), or just mobilize a dozing cow in the middle of the bazaar.

Driving Accessories:

Keep informative books in the glove compartment. You may read them during traffic jams, while awaiting the chief minister's motorcade, or waiting for the rainwater to recede when over ground traffic meets underground drainage.

UFO's:

Occasionally you might see what looks like a UFO with blinking colored lights and weird sounds emanating from within. This is an illuminated bus, full of happy pilgrims singing Bhajans. These pilgrims go at breakneck speed, seeking contact with the Almighty, often meeting with success.

Auto Rickshaws (Baby Taxis):

The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare. After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and learn Newton's laws of motion enroute to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur, and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds:

The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise
like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped” off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes:

Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem. There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers are paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street:

These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Do not stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive, as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.

Speed Breakers:

Least I sound hypercritical; I must add a positive point also. Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left untarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

Night Driving:
Night driving on Indian roads can be an exhilarating experience for those with the mental make up of Genghis Khan. In a way, it is like playing Russian roulette, because you do not know who amongst the drivers is loaded. What looks like premature dawn on the horizon turns out to be a truck attempting a speed record. On encountering it, just pull partly into the field adjoining the road until the phenomenon passes. Our roads do not have shoulders, but occasional boulders. Do not blink your lights expecting reciprocation. The only dim thing in the truck is the driver, and with the peg of illicit arrack (alcohol) he has had at the last stop, his total cerebral functions add up to little more than a naught.

Truck drivers are the James Bonds of India, and are licensed to kill. Often you may encounter a single powerful beam of light about six feet above the ground. This is not a super motorbike, but a truck approaching you with a single light on, usually the left one. It could be the right one, but never get too close to investigate. You may prove your point posthumously. Of course, all this occurs at night, on the trunk road.

Signals:
During the daytime, trucks are more visible, except that the drivers will never show any Signal. (And you must watch for the absent signals; they are the greater threat). Only, you will often observe that the cleaner who sits next to the driver, will project this hand and wave hysterically. This is definitely not be construed as a signal for a left turn. The waving is just a statement of physical relief on a hot day or can be a warning not to overtake. If you live in India have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am-when the police have gone home and - The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in the constitution.
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Last edited by Red Bull; 18 May 2006 at 17:09.
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Old 18 May 2006
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Very nice Video Red Bull!!!

Pat
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Old 18 May 2006
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Rules Of The Road, Indian Style

Traveling on Indian Roads is an almost hallucinatory potion of sound, spectacle and experience. It is frequently heart-rending, sometimes hilarious, mostly exhilarating, always unforgettable -- and, when you are on the roads, extremely dangerous.

Most Indian road users observe a version of the Highway Code based on a Sanskrit text. These 12 rules of the Indian road are published for the first time in English:

* ARTICLE I:

The assumption of immortality is required of all road users.

* ARTICLE II:

Indian traffic, like Indian society,is structured on a strict caste system. The following precedence must be accorded at all times. In descending order, give way to:

*


Cows, elephants, heavy trucks, buses, official cars, camels, light trucks, buffalo, jeeps, ox-carts, private cars, motorcycles, scooters, auto-rickshaws, pigs, pedal rickshaws, goats, bicycles (goods-carrying), handcarts, bicycles (passenger-carrying), dogs, pedestrians.

* ARTICLE III:

All wheeled vehicles shall be driven in accordance with the maxim: to slow is to falter, to brake is to fail, to stop is defeat. This is the Indian drivers' mantra.

* ARTICLE IV:

Use of horn (also known as the sonic fender or aural amulet):

* Cars (IV,1,a-c):

1. Short blasts (urgent) indicate supremacy, IE in clearing dogs, rickshaws and pedestrians from path.
2. Long blasts (desperate) denote supplication, IE to oncoming truck: "I am going too fast to stop, so unless you slow down we shall both die". In extreme cases this may be accompanied by flashing of headlights (frantic).
3. Single blast (casual) means: "I have seen someone out of India's 870 million whom I recognise", "There is a bird in the road (which at this speed could go through my windscreen)" or "I have not blown my horn for several minutes."

* Trucks and buses (IV,2,a):

All horn signals have the same meaning, viz: "I have an all-up weight of approximately 12.5 tons and have no intention of stopping, even if I could." This signal may be emphasised by the use of headlamps.

Article IV remains subject to the provision of Order of Precedence in Article II above.

* ARTICLE V:

All manoeuvres, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

* ARTICLE VI:

In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These should be kept fastened at all times.

* ARTICLE VII:

1. Rights of way:

Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has traffic from the right, and also traffic in the middle.

2. Lane discipline (VII,1):

All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the centre of the road.

* ARTICLE VIII:

Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no traffic management function. Any other impression should be ignored.

* ARTICLE IX:

Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, irrespective of whether it has just overtaken you.

Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, on blind bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages/city centres. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing -- and one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.

* ARTICLE X:

Nirvana may be obtained through the head-on crash.

* ARTICLE XI:

Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.
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Old 18 May 2006
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@ Pat

I just found these 2 articles and the video and I have been laughing like a maniac(Tears in the eyes kind) for the past 30 minutes..

I can feel cramps in my stomach..
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Old 18 May 2006
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Fond memories
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Old 20 Apr 2007
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Lol

A Laugh Riot. The poor soul who penned those words must have felt pain the likes of which i do not wish to experience in this or my many lives before i attain nirvana and freedom from the circle of life. To be humourous in such situation is the only true sign of genius.
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