Well, just got to throw in my comment to add to the general amusement:
I had a Land Rover 109 stolen from outside the flat in Hackney, East London, where I lived several years ago. One of my neighbours saw a tow truck dragging it away (i had dropped the gearbox to replace the clutch, so it must have made quite a noise dragging down the street!) The wrote down the phone number on the side of the recovery truck and when I got back that evening they told me.
So... I called the phone company to try to get the address to match the number, but they said it had to be a police request, so I went to the police station, where after explaining I was asked by the officer interviewing me "so, thought you would play at being a detective did you?"
Then they did nothing - as I'd expected...
Then, three months later I had a phone call:
CID rang me up (and I was so glad there was someone with me at the time because otherwise I'd have thought I'd imagined it) they told me that they had rung up the number I'd given them, and asked the person on the other end whether they had stolen my Landy...! Apparently the Criminal Mastermind on the other end told them "no", so they said that obviously they couldn't proceed any further!
You really couldn't make it up!
Now I've moved to Ireland - an infinitely more sensible place - whenever I go back to Britain I am amazed at the hopeless mess the place is, and the sheep putting up with whatever they are told to do because it's 'SECURITY'