Global10: Kenya and Tanzania: 'Life is Sheep', sent on 23.01.00 from Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

Hidihi Campers,

I hope things are well with you all. Here the adventures are seemingly over; East and Southern Africa (south of Mount Kenya, that is) should be relatively easy. I, of course, still manage to add a little spice to things....

I didn't receive a great deal of feedback from 'global9', sent from Nairobi in early January. So again, if you're worried (as I know you must be), that you've missed any rip-roaring, on the edge of yer seat episode of 'Life of Brighty', then tune into www.horizonsunlimed.com/chrisbright, where Grant is working overtime to keep my webpage updated. He also has a huge amount info and good stuff about his and Susan's (and others') excursions en moto.

I'm presently reading Robert M Pirsig's 'Zen and the Art if Motorcycle Maintenance.' I tried it a few years ago and it was very hard going, mainly because I wasn't sure what planet RMP was from. Now it is much clearer.

The more I ride the wife, the more I'm impressed. I hope, I'm not speaking too soon, but with all the abuse I'm putting her through, she just keeps on truckin'. Babe, we've still got a long way to go though.

Before moving onto the report, more ramblings... Turgut, a Turkish friend from Istanbul, wants to do a cartoon of my adventure... In the mean time, here's a plot for an, I believe, blockbuster film: I star as myself, a Basil Fawlty/ Victor Meldrew type character, dressed as Baron von Blixen in a pizza deliverer's uniform, in a new vastly improved version of 'Out of Africa', to be called 'Out of Egypt'. The final scene sees me riding into the sunset with a huge dust cloud behind... Shouting "I'm outta here' and 'Zis iz ze real Afrika'. The curtain falls and the audience is left with a rap of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries' and Steppenwolf's 'Born to be Wild'.

What do you think???

Anyway...

The 'road' from the Ethiopian border at Moyale to Isiolo (about 50 klicks north of Mount Kenya) can be described as 'challenging'. It took me 5 days to ride 500km. After the first day, I spent the next one in a hamlet called Marsabit, reassemling the wife. She is now a 'collector's item'... bits fall off and I collect them. The 'nice' corrugations caused my subframe to snap again, the bashplate to fall off, the spotlight on my crash bars to fall off, I stuck a hole in the righthand rocker cover, causing a little bit of polution involving engine oil to spill onto the road (3 cheers for metal cement - kindly supplied by a German couple in an Iveco truck) etc etc. After dropping the bike for the 5th time in rather large bolder strewn ruts (the wide Boxer engine and inadequate rubber, as well as my tiredness didn't help matters) meant that I was not the happiest of bunnies. The proof, see below...

Then (not the same day!)... 4 hours to travel 2 km through some top mud. With 2 local lads pushing and stopping every 10 or so metres to remove the cemen-like mud (they build houses from it here!!!!) from both wheel arches I know what the smell of burning asbestos (the clutch) is like. This, by the way, was Christmas Eve and as fate would have it, I ended up at a Catholic Mission Station in Laisamis, where they did an excellent welding job on the frame and I saw an African Naitivity Play with two hundred locals in their best dress and tribal costumes with simulatious translations from Italian to
English to Kiswahili to Samburu as well as a satelite telephone linkup with a Church in Bari, Italy! Not bad really.
Christmas Day was spent on the road and in the evening in Isiolo repairing a puncture and talking to a French Rose seller from Ibiza.

The few days up to New Year's were spent sorting out rubber, servicing the wife and Chilling. I got lots of help from Rick of Rick's Bikes and Vic Preston's with repairs and subframe strengthening. Thanks guys.

New Year's at Upper Hill Campsite in Nairobi was a bit of a non event, but hey, I could have been at the Millenium Dome in Greenwich!

People say about Africa 'Life is cheap'. Slightly adapted, if you say it with a German accent: 'Life is sheep', or possible 'death is sheep' or whatever... In 'global9' I spoke of gormless goats and docile donkies. I didn't mention suicidal sheep. The problem with sheep is that they have absolutely no brain whatsoever and are quite large, but still very mobile. Goats are small (ish) and if you hit one, it's probably like driving over a pot hole. Donkeys tend to be quite immobile and are unlikely to be able to do a swift u-turn and try to take you with them on their death mission.

You've guessed it... I belted a sheep while doing 100km/h and did a bungyless bungy jump 20 metres down the road and the wife slid upside down for about 15 metres. Luckily there were no handy cars, trees, walls to cause my decelleration. The sheep was as dead as a 'did parrot'. As well as shock, my only injury was where my psion (now broken) palmtop computer buried itself into my left hip. I was wearing the full gear with kevlar reinforced cordura clothing and army boots and a good helmet. If you see any idiots in just jeans and a tee shirt, please tell the my story! I was very lucky to be travelling with Dirk, Kiki and Rocca from Germany in an Unimog. They appeared on the scene and were my saviours. Rick and Vic in Nairobi checked the bike out and did necessary (very minor) repairs. With the cosmetic scarring, the second hand value of the wife is now about the US$1100/750 squids declared on the Carnet de Passage. As she's not for sale, who cares anyway. So children: If you want to collide with a sheep, do it in at least a 10 ton truck and not on a motorcycle!

Ted Simon suggested that if things were going well, you could always run out of fuel deliberately. Things were going well, but I reckon my sheep stunt was taking this train of thought a little too far!

I saw a couple of amusing signs in Kenya:

'Protect you family, use a condom' and another 'Beware: workers working on the road'....

After my little adventure chez le mouton and generally realising how low in the pecking order I come in the minds of the crazed Kenyan demons that drive matatus (minibuses) and buses, I decided to increase my life expectancy dramatically and leave Kenya post haste.

The border crossing from Kenya to Tanzania was as uneventful as the crossing from Ethiopia. As it was a public holiday, the Kenyan customs woman wanted some 'overtime money'. I told her I had none (as I had genuinely spent the last of it on fuel) and she let me off!

After passing through Arusha the excellent tarsealed road led to the nicest piste (since the last time I had a nice piste in Ethiopia) to Karatu where I managed to hitch a lift with a very pleasant couple from Holland called Maik and Maaike, in their rented Landcruiser into Ngorogoro Crater. Many Nelliefants, Hippipottimice, simbas at a kill, a mum and baby rhino and the usual zebras, flamingos, wildebeest etc etc were seen. A top day out, paricularly as I now (since my robbery in Jordan) only have a 35-135 lense
and so could enjoy the views for what they were without constantly trying to take photos.

The Tanzanians seem to be better drivers than the Kenyans or maybe it has something to do with the police actually doing their job. There were police every 10 or so km on the road to Dar es Salaam. They generally seem to be more relaxed than the Kenyans. It is still, however, a constant pain to have to get the price down from 10 times the market rate to something within the realms of credibility.

In Moshi I camped in the garden of the 'Golden Shower' restaurant and had a great view if Mt Kilimanjaro from the tent door in the morning. I am slowly getting used to rising (on travel days) at dawn (6am), because if you're on the move at ten it's an absolute killer. Being in bed by ten pm helps here too!

In Lushoto, a former German colonial hillstation, I stayed (or rather camped on the ex-golf course) at the Lawn's Hotel, allegedly the oldest hotel in Tanzania. On the petrol generator powered satelite TV I watched Arsenal vs.
Sunderland and also the South African version of CNN/BBC News24. The presenter was having a hard time as his producers were pulling a few stunts. He clearly, on prime time TV, mouthed the f word. The next night he was still at work!

That night, I felt very safe, or maybe not. The hotel filled with 2 MPs and a Government Minister, plus hangers on, flunkies and guards. Guns everywhere. They had been cerimoniously opening a dirt track, errrr sorry, I mean road, and had many of the traits of western politicians: lots of wind and naff jokes. For the first time in 4 months I walked more than 10 km to a view point called Carter's Place. Carter was apparently a Peace Corp volunteer who stayed and went hang gliding (and book writing) from a cliff
edge overlooking the Massai plain 1000 metres below. He tried to befriend a hawk (?) to teach him where the thermals were. Neither Carter, nor the hawk were there to verify this story.

The 350km on excellent tar to Dar es Salaam were easily covered. At the ferry across the estuary I nearly asked somebody what altitude we were at (only kidding!). Dar es Salaam has changed a lot in the past 12 years when I was last here. To the better, I think.

Another self-portrait

Zanzibar was also negatively different in some ways and in many others timelessly pleasant, enchanting and intriguing.
Mass tourism has arrived and with it the money-beserk touts, sellers and drug dealers. Drinking an ice cold Kilimanjaro at sunset at the Africa House Hotel made the trip there worthwhile. Before I left England, I visited a creative writing course, at which I wrote a Hemingwayesque short story set just here at the Africa House. I think I described it well, but I'm not sure, as the only copy I had with me, was on the hard disk of the psion, which is, as I said, kaputtshino.

As an Epilogue to this little ditty, I think it's quite useful to make a synopsis of the journey so far and where the road is leading.

So, being the 'did' teacher I am here are my marks out of 10 for each country visited ref. bikeability and friendliness of people.

Greece: 7 and 7, Turkey: 8 and 8, Syria: 8 and 10, Jordan: 8 and 5, Israel ??? (I was there sans moto) and 4, Sinai: 8 and 7, Egypt (the rest): 5 and 0, Ethiopia: 9 and 7, Kenya: 6 and 6, Tanzania: 8 and 7.

The route from Dar es Salaam: I have 2 options I think: either Malawi, Mozambique, southern coast of RSA to Cape Town (pick up some things left there by my parents) and then north again to Namibia, Botswana and Zimbabwe and back to Cape Town OR Malawi and the traditional route trough Zim, Bots, Nam and RSA to Cape Town. Any suggestions?

After Cape Town: After my little adventures with bureaucracy and generally pleasant, helpful, kindhearted people in ......., I ain't touching India with a bargepole, well at least, I have no intention of shipping into or out of there. Also cash (or lack of it) means all the shipping connections to India to Australia to the Americas etc etc are out of the question. I can however do one more move and this is very likely to be either to S America and ride north or N America and head south. If I can achieve London to Cape Town and Alaska to Argentina (or vice versa), I reckon that would be pretty good. I have heard from everybody how wonderful Latin America and its people are, I'll have to check it out myself. Where's the Berlitz Spanish book?

So Team, what's up at yours???? I won't be writing for a while as Malawi (and Mozambique) are emailially challenged, but I will be in touch when the facilities are there and the rate per hour is affordable.

Hang loose and rubber side down, shiney side up.... as the sheep wouldn't say.

Chris

Global10: Kenya and Tanzania: 'Life is Sheep', sent on 23.01.00 from Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

Hidihi Campers,

I didn't receive a great deal of feedback from 'global9', sent from Nairobi in early January. So again, if you're worried (as I know you must be), that you've missed any rip-roaring, on the edge of yer seat episode of 'Life of Brighty', then tune into www.horizonsunlimited.com/chrisbright, where Grant is working overtime to keep my webpage updated. He also has a huge amount info and good stuff about his and Susan's (and others') excursions en moto.

I'm presently reading Robert M Pirsig's 'Zen and the Art if Motorcycle Maintenance.' I tried it a few years ago and it was very hard going, mainly because I wasn't sure what planet RMP was from. Now it is much clearer.

The more I ride the wife, the more I'm impressed. I hope, I'm not speaking too soon, but with all the abuse I'm putting her through, she just keeps on truckin'. Babe, we've still got a long way to go though.

Before moving onto the report, more ramblings... Turgut, a Turkish friend from Istanbul, wants to do a cartoon of my adventure... In the mean time, here's a plot for an, I believe, blockbuster film: I star as myself, a Basil Fawlty/ Victor Meldrew type character, dressed as Baron von Blixen in a pizza deliverer's uniform, in a new vastly improved version of 'Out of Africa', to be called 'Out of Egypt'. The final scene sees me riding into the sunset with a huge dust cloud behind... Shouting "I'm outta here' and 'Zis iz ze real Afrika'. The curtain falls and the audience is left with a rap of Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries' and Steppenwolf's 'Born to be Wild'. What do you think???

Anyway...

The 'road' from the Ethiopian border at Moyale to Isiolo (about 50 klicks north of Mount Kenya)can be described as 'challenging'. It took me 5 days to ride 500km. After the first day, I spent the next one in a hamlet called Marsabit, reassembling the wife. She is now a 'collector's item'... bits fall off and I collect them. The 'nice' corrugations caused my subframe to snap again, the bashplate to fall off, the spotlight on my crash bars to fall off, I stuck a hole in the righthand rocker cover, causing a little bit of pollution involving engine oil to spill onto the road (3 cheers for metal cement - kindly supplied by a German couple in an Iveco truck) etc etc. After dropping the bike for the 5th time in rather large bolder strewn ruts (the wide Boxer engine and inadequate rubber, as well as my tiredness didn't help matters) meant that I was not the happiest of bunnies.

Then (not the same day!)... 4 hours to travel 2 km through some top mud. With 2 local lads pushing and stopping every 10 or so metres to remove the cement-like mud (they build houses from it here!!!!) from both wheel arches I know what the smell of burning asbestos (the clutch) is like. This, by the way, was Christmas Eve and as fate would have it, I ended up at a Catholic Mission Station in Laisamis, where they did an excellent welding job on the frame and I saw an African Nativity Play with two hundred locals in their best dress and tribal costumes with simultaneous translations from Italian to English to Kiswahili to Samburu as well as a satellite telephone linkup with a Church in Bari, Italy! Not bad really. Christmas Day was spent on the road and in the evening in Isiolo repairing a puncture and talking to a French Rose seller from Ibiza.

The few days up to New Year's were spent sorting out rubber, servicing the wife and Chilling. I got lots of help from Rick of Rick's Bikes and Vic Preston's with repairs and subframe strengthening. Thanks guys.

Fixing the bike, Nairobi's Upper Hill campground, New Years Eve

New Year's at Upper Hill Campsite in Nairobi was a bit of a non event, but hey, I could have been at the Millennium Dome in Greenwich!

People say about Africa 'Life is cheap'. Slightly adapted, if you say it with a German accent: 'Life is sheep', or possible 'death is sheep' or whatever... In 'global9' I spoke of gormless goats and docile donkies. I didn't mention suicidal sheep. The problem with sheep is that they have absolutely no brain whatsoever and are quite large, but still very mobile. Goats are small (ish) and if you hit one, it's probably like driving over a pot hole. Donkeys tend to be quite immobile and are unlikely to be able to do a swift u-turn and try to take you with them on their death mission.

You've guessed it... I belted a sheep while doing 100km/h and did a bungyless bungy jump 20 metres down the road and the wife slid upside down for about 15 metres. Luckily there were no handy cars, trees, walls to cause my deceleration. The sheep was as dead as a 'did parrot'. As well as shock, my only injury was where my psion (now broken) palmtop computer buried itself into my left hip. I was wearing the full gear with kevlar reinforced cordura clothing and army boots and a good helmet. If you see any idiots in just jeans and a tee shirt, please tell the my story! I was very lucky to be travelling with Dirk, Kiki and Rocca from Germany in an Unimog. They appeared on the scene and were my saviours. Rick and Vic in Nairobi checked the bike out and did necessary (very minor)
repairs. With the cosmetic scaring, the second hand value of the wife is now about the US$1100/750 squids declared on the Carnet de Passage. As she's not for sale, who cares anyway. So children: If you want to collide with a sheep, do it in at least a 10 ton truck and not on a motorcycle!

Ted Simon suggested that if things were going well, you could always run out of fuel deliberately. Things were going well, but I recon my sheep stunt was taking this train of thought a little too far!

I saw a couple of amusing signs in Kenya:

'Protect you family, use a condom' and another 'Beware: workers working on the road'....

After my little adventure chez le mouton and generally realising how low in the pecking order I come in the minds of the crazed Kenyan demons that drive matatus (minibuses) and buses, I decided to increase my life expectancy dramatically and leave Kenya post haste.

The border crossing from Kenya to Tanzania was as uneventful as the crossing from Ethiopia. As it was a public holiday, the Kenyan customs woman wanted some 'overtime money'. I told her I had none (as I had genuinely spent the last of it on fuel) and she let me off!

After passing through Arusha the excellent tarsealed road led to the nicest piste (since the last time I had a nice piste in Ethiopia) to Karatu where I managed to hitch a lift with a very pleasant couple from Holland called Maik and Maaike, in their rented Landcruiser into Ngorongoro Crater. Many Nelliefants, Hippipottimice, simbas at a kill, a mum and baby rhino and the usual zebras, flamingos, wildebeest etc etc were seen. A top day out, particularly as I now (since my robbery in Jordan) only have a 35-135 lens and so could enjoy the views for what they were without constantly trying to take photos.

The Tanzanians seem to be better drivers than the Kenyans or maybe it has something to do with the police actually doing their job. There were police every 10 or so km on the road to Dar es Salaam. They generally seem to be more relaxed than the Kenyans. It is still, however, a constant pain to have to get the price down from 10 times the market rate to something within the realms of credibility.

In Moshi I camped in the garden of the 'Golden Shower' restaurant and had a great view if Mt Kilimanjaro from the tent door in the morning. I am slowly getting used to rising (on travel days) at dawn (6am), because if you're on the move at ten it's an absolute killer. Being in bed my ten pm helps here too!

In Lushoto, a former German colonial hillstation, I stayed (or rather camped on the ex-golf course) at the Lawn's Hotel, allegedly the oldest hotel in Tanzania. On the petrol generator powered satellite TV I watched Arsenal vs.
Sunderland and also the South African version of CNN/BBC News24. The presenter was having a hard time as his producers were pulling a few stunts. He clearly, on prime time TV, mouthed the f word. The next night he was still at work!

That night, I felt very safe, or maybe not. The hotel filled with 2 MPs and a Government Minister, plus hangers on, flunkies and guards. Guns everywhere. They had been ceremoniously opening a dirt track, errrr sorry, I mean road, and had many of the traits of western politicians: lots of wind and naff jokes. For the first time in 4 months I walked more than 10 km to a view point called Carter's Place. Carter was apparently a Peace Corp volunteer who stayed and went hang gliding (and book writing) from a cliff edge overlooking the Masai plain 1000 metres below.
He tried to befriend a hawk (?) to teach him where the thermals were. Neither Carter, nor the hawk were there to verify this story.

The 350km on excellent tar to Dar es Salaam were easily covered. At the ferry across the estuary I nearly asked somebody what altitude we were at (only kidding!). Dar es Salaam has changed a lot in the past 12 years when I was last here. To the better, I think.

Zanzibar was also negatively different in some ways and in many others timelessly pleasant, enchanting and intriguing.
Mass tourism has arrived and with it the money-beserk touts, sellers and drug dealers. Drinking an ice cold Kilimanjaro at sunset at the Africa House Hotel made the trip there worthwhile. Before I left England, I visited a creative writing course, at which I wrote a Hemingwayesque short story set just here at the Africa House. I think I described it well, but I'm not sure, as the only copy I had with me, was on the hard disk of the psion, which is, as I said, kaputtshino.

As an Epilogue to this little ditty, I think it's quite useful to make a synopsis of the journey so far and where the road is leading.

So, being the 'did' teacher I am here are my marks out of 10 for each country visited ref. bikeability and friendliness of people.

Greece: 7 and 7, Turkey: 8 and 8, Syria: 8 and 10, Jordan: 8 and 5, Israel ??? (I was there sans moto) and 4, Sinai: 8 and 7, Egypt (the rest): 5 and 0, Ethiopia: 9 and 7, Kenya: 6 and 6, Tanzania: 8 and 7.

The route from Dar es Salaam: I have 2 options I think: either Malawi, Mozambique, southern coast of RSA to Cape Town (pick up some things left there by my parents) and then north again to Namibia, Botswana and Zimbabwe and back to Cape Town OR Malawi and the traditional route trough Zim, Bots, Nam and RSA to Cape Town. Any suggestions?

After Cape Town: After my little adventures with bureaucracy and generally pleasant, helpful, kindhearted people in ......., I ain't touching India with a bargepole, well at least, I have no intention of shipping into or out of there. Also cash (or lack of it) means all the shipping connections to India to Australia to the Americas etc etc are out of the question. I can however do one more move and this is very likely to be either to S America and ride north or N America and head south. If I can achieve London to Cape Town and Alaska to Argentina (or vice versa), I recon that would be pretty good. I have heard from everybody how wonderful Latin America and its people are, I'll have to check it out myself. Where's the Berlitz Spanish book?

So Team, what's up at yours???? I won't be writing for a while as Malawi (and Mozambique) are emailially challenged, but I will be in touch when the facilities are there and the rate per hour is affordable.

Hang loose and rubber side down, shiney side up.... as the sheep wouldn't say.

Chris

Thanks for all your mails. Since I last checked there were more than 100 new mails. I won't be able to respond to all, but hopefully the following global report will prove interesting reading.

So, greetings team,

A merry, prosperous and healthy New Year to you, your family and your friends. In the big scheme of things, they are all you have and you must look after them. I think you can see where this is leading....

My other new year's resolution is to start to take some advice for once in my life. Sorry Grant, I must have been asleep when you passed your words of wisdom on the land that borders the Med and the Red Sea. Please, please, please.... next time.... slap me around the face with a wet, preferably rancid, fish and shout clearly and repeatedly:

'do NOT enter Egypt with a motor vehicle, because if you do, the monolithic demon that is Egyptian customs will take you and do something to you that is at the opposite end of the spectrum to having the soft bits on the end of you ears nibbled by nubile angels sent by God to comfort you!'

Anyway, long time no hear from me.... well a thorough wrist and thigh slapping is required. Egypt didn't really put me in the mood to be creative and Ethiopia's internet access is verging on non-existent. Apart from that, I was preoccupied with riding on good dirt pistes, riding very bad corrugated and mud-infested pistes, having the bike's rear subframe welded (in 4 places) and repairing punctures in the front tyre (8 times - please don't ask me to say nice things about my sponsor.... The wife's front wheel is now sporting a tyre from France, whose logo is a fat bloke!)

We all make good and bad calls in life and I have a few skeletons in my closet (to be divulged upon payment of many beers), but boarding that ferry from Aqaba in Jordan to Neweiba in Sinai (presently in Egypt) counts as a major clanger.

Following is a list of the pros and cons of Egypt:

Pros:
a. choclate thick shakes at the Shark Bay restaurant in Dahab, Sinai.

b. the BMW garage in Cairo who worked on my bike for free and replaced my broken starter motor. (I won't mention that they put my K&N airfilter back in upside down and that rode for a hundred klicks before I noticed!)

c. the chappie at the Valley of the Kings who let me into the fourth tomb for free, even though I only had a ticket for 3 tombs.

d. the chap at the Sultan Hotel who helped me get bits to replace the hose off my left carburettor after some nice Jippo stole the original.

e.

f.

g.

(hint.... there were no more!)

The cons: I will not recount the bad experiences as they are too numerous to mention. If there is a Hell on Earth, then it is Egypt and if there is a Devil, then it is 'Shukri' the bloke at Cairo Customs who does the tracings of the engine and chassis numbers!

Sinai was ruggedly beautiful, but I truthfully can't imagine why the Israelis and the Egyptians would want to break the 6th Commandment so often for this desolate place.

Lots of R and R was had in Dahab. Snorkeling at the Blue Hole with its wonderful coral and plethera of multi coloured fish.... The gaudy batiks you see in the shops aren't really gaudy; some of the fish really were the most uncamouflaged I have ever seen.

An interesting little event occurred while riding around the Pyramids. An Aussie friend, Adam, and I took a horse ride. Why? I really don't know! It was naff, but... on the way back to the stable, the route goes through a cemetery. As would be expected the horse speeds up as he's on the home straight. Suddenly.... I didn't know what was going on. I was still on the horse's back, but my legs were horizontal on the ground. The horse had fallen into a tomb, landing on its legs. Luckily I didn't fall in behind the horse and he didn't break a leg. We got him out eventually. When the guide asked for a tip back at the stables, I gave him one: 'don't go in the cemetery!'

The loneliness of Cairo was desolate and painful. Not nice at all. All the hassle, a broken bike and hardly a kind soul to chat to. I don't recommend it. I knew I would be alone at times, but I met virtually no overlanders all the way to Cairo. (Possibly they took Grant's advice!?)

In between patches of utter desolation facing the might of the insult that is Egypt, I did meet Didi and Uli (hi Chiefs!)... 2 Germans on black XTs, whom I first met in Ephesus in Western Turkey a long time ago. We (and Adam) had a great few days. Lots of laughs. Why didn't I ride with them all the way from Ephesus? They even got into Egypt without a carnet.

I also gave up the chance to appear in an Egyptian movie. Some wierdo was touting in the hotel. My question as to which line of business he was in, phased him somewhat. 'International marketing'... Yeh, right!

Just to cheer myself up I went to the Sudan Embassy to check the progress of my visa application. (having been ignored in London and refused in Bonn...) After waiting an age, I talked to bloke who couldn't find my application.
The result of 3 hours toil: 'Come back on Monday at 10am to see the Consul General, who might know where the application is.' (Editor's note: He didn't!!!)

Flying became the only option. The bike wouldn't fit into through an A320 Airbus of Egypt Air or a Boeing 757 of Ethioian Airlines cargo door. Only Lufthansa's A300 to Addis Ababa had a door big enough.

To clear customs (which took 5 days!) you have to get a 'no traffic violations' confirmation from the traffic police. I violated at least 4 rules to get the last 300 metres to the office.... u-turn across the central reservation of a dual carriageway, driving the wrong way up a one way street and parking in a no parking zone... all under the watchful eye of 10 'busy' police officers.

When not spending time at the customs/ airport, I decided to have a productive morning extending my visa. So many people, pushing so many pieces of paper, achieving so little. Hundreds of them and that was just the passport section. It is my firm belief that Egypt is soley responsible for the hole in the ozone layer with its generation of hot air and also for the depletion of the rain forest, with its devouring of bits of paper. Unglaublich!!

Shipping wasn't an option as the routing from Alexandria takes too long and Suez is in the clutches of Ahmed the Spiv, so the bike eventually went for $580 ($350 freight, $230 for customs!!) on Lufthansa and me for $430 on Ethipian Airlines to Addis Ababa.

P.S. A special thanks must go to Messrs. V Morrison, J Barnes and J Coltrane, as well as, the entire soundtrack of Easyrider for getting me through the nightmare. Never forget, there is a soul out there, but not in Jippoland.

The landscape of Ethiopia from the air looks like the design of camouflage fatigues, brown and dark yellow, interspersed with black and greens. It was figuratively and literally a breath of fresh air. There is no polution, there are hardly any cars, to coin a phrase over-used in the past: 'Zis iz ze real Afrika'. (hi Curly!) The 'you you you' takes a bit of getting used to. To the western ear it sound rather agressive. It is rather agressive!
People here, no matter how friendly they appear are only associating with you, because they want to share your wealth. I met nobody who was helpful, who didn't want money.

I took a day to get the wife out of Ethiopian customs. I paid a grand total of 8.70 Birr (US$1) to the Ethiopian Treasury. A slight contrast to the above.

In places, the road from Addis Ababa to Bahir Dar was, shall we say, rather poor. The rear subframe decided to break for the first (of 4) time. I found a man who did some rather dubious welding. The sparks from the welding kit and the angle grinder worried me somewhat. Something to do with 30 litres of fuel (in the petrol tank) being in rather close proximity. Not that it wouldn't have made a good story for the diary!

The roads made it all worthwhile. 'It' being the stress in the UK and Egypt. The ultimate... speeding along at 50 or 60 kmh over gravel piste with the biggest dust cloud behind and nothing but friendly faces and great, in places, breath taking scenery ahead.

In Bahir Dar I visited some monasteries on islands in the middle of Lake Tana. The lake and the scenery are tranquil. Everywhere birds of all sizes and colours. In the morning there were ten pelicans swimming close to the shore in front of my tent.

Bridge over ravine, Ethiopia

The road from Bahir Dar eastwards is called the Chinese Road.

A great piste: long straight, flat, niccccccce... 3400 metres above sea level, the roadside littered with abandoned tanks and rocket launchers from past happy Ethiopian get-togethers. Avoiding the youyouyou types and beggars was difficult... some others were more friendly. There are absolutely no western tourists here. Wars (presently with Eritrea) tend to make your average punter run a mile. The only evidence of the conflict, apart from the biased anti-Eritrean rhetoric in the papers, that I witnessed, was many army trucks and a few low loaders carrying large covered objects, the shapes of which looked remarkably similar to tanks.

The road to Lalibela was out of this world. Great piste through remarkable terrain. It wasn't really my scene...
'the second Jerusalem' etc etc. So, what's wrong with the first one?

The Ethiopian scenery is superb. So varied... arid high plateau to alpine pastures to rolling countryside to jagged cliffs. At night amazing stars as there is no polution in the air.

I learnt many things on my travels around Ethiopia's roads. Trees disguised as people, trees disguised as donkeys, as trucks, as camels, as anything... Particular care should be taken with suicidal deathwise donkeys and gormless goats.

I can now change a front tyre blind fold. Of the 6 or so times I did it, once was even in the dark. I put on the well known brand 'Golden Boy' to get me to Kenya where I could put on a decent Michelin. The back Bridgestone is holding up OK, but you should never say never, but I will never put a Brigdestone on the front again! It lasted 3000km and was beginning to disintegrate from the inside. This caused the punctures.

Lake Langano was excellent. Very relaxing, lots of beering, fooding and chilling. I spent the time hanging out with Guy and Marlene from Belgium, travelling RTW on a R1100GS. We debated a name for the bike. I suggested 'Janice' (too nice a name!?), they suggested 'Helga' (German and functional...). An Ethiopian policeman said that BMW stood for 'be my wife'.... so the bike is now called 'wife' or 'wifey' or whatever.

At the lake there were also conference delegates discussing solutions for the AIDS problem in Ethiopia. Our suggestions were very straightforward, but cannot be printed here.

The border crossing to Kenya took 40 minutes. Half an hour to get out of Ethiopia and 10 minutes (of which 5 were swapping pleasantries with the customs and immigration officers) to get into Kenya. Why isn't it always this easy?

The 'adventures' of the road from Moyale to Isiolo and the rest of Kenya will follow soon(ish).

Hang loose for now,

Chris

3 January, 2000

I hope you had a good New Year and that all is good with you. I trust that 'global9' sent today will be of interest.

I've spent the past week in Nairobi fixing and servicing the bike after the exersions of Ethiopia and particularly the 500km of Moyale to Isiolo (Northern Kenya).

I'll be heading up to the Rift Valley lakes for a few days before heading to Arusha (Ngorogoro Crater and Kilimanjaro)(mid January) and then Dar es Salaam and Zansibar (lateish Jan)... then Malawi (Early Feb), then... probably Zim, RSA (Cape Town to pick up vital supplies (tyres, spares, film, camera lenses to replace the stolen ones... March????), then.... Namibia and Botswana before the return to Cape Town and probably freight to the Americas (after the stunts of Egypt, I have absolutely NO intention of going anywhere near Indian bureaucracy!!!)

18 January, 2000

I face a little dilemma... life is hard isn't it.... to go from malawi via beira and maputo around the coast (via durban etc) to cape town, before doing a loop round namibia, botswana and zim, OR to do the traditional overland thing and drive from malawi to zim, botswana/ namibia to the cape.

Any suggestions? I'll tell you more when i know...